Keaton Pehrson, Keaton Pehrson!, KEATON PEHRSON!!

Michigan defeats racism

The problem with that idea is emus haven't historically performed that well at Michigan Stadium.

We don’t need any S.R.s or Mensheviks, Craig. The revolution’s happening.

Brian needs to put cows in his backyard

I feel like I've been disrespected all day and now I just want to slap someone's face with a leather glove and have a duel.

The hair's going to translate.

Coaches are professionals who do this 100+ hours a week. Players are professionals who do this 100+ hours a week. We’re professionals who do this 100+ hours a week. Why do we have officials, who are part of the game, just doing it on the weekend?

Not enough to get you fired, not enough to make you happy.

Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to Michigan fan pessimism and Michigan State fan insanity.