Previously: The Story. Quarterback. Running Back. Wide Receiver. Tight End. 

INTERIOR OL: YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY

Michigan's offensive line is coming off back-to-back Joe "Sherrone" Moore awards. They get back six guys who started games last year and added two of the Pac-12's best OL, plus a former five-star with a season and change of starting experience. Cocky? Nah. Call it confid—

On Zinter's proposed formation with 10 offensive linemen and a running back

You know, I get ... every day the linemen are sending me plays and formations. I'm like, 'can you guys just worry about what you got to do?'

Ok, cocky.

I am rapturous about Sherrone Moore rolling into the building every morning only for Keegan and Zinter to confront him with their latest ludicrous offense against God and football. They are both wearing full pads and helmets. Keegan sports his trademark faceful of eyeblack. They show him a play where three offensive linemen pull in different directions and then the ball is lateraled to a fourth OL. Moore tries very hard to remember that these guys are his ticket to a head coaching job next year and says he'll take it under advisement. Zinter and Keegan high five, elated. Exit stage right, repeat every day of the summer.

In addition to those two guys, Michigan added a two year starter and All Pac-12 honorable mention center to go with two more guys who I'd be perfectly comfortable starting. And the top backup at guard looked like he'd start at a majority of Big Ten schools last year, when he was a redshirt freshman.

Sometimes I think back to that time Rich Rodriguez got the Michigan job and arrived to find out he had a total of seven scholarship OL, one of whom was immediately lost for the season. This section's title is a riff on old lady cigarette ads, and I assume Rodriguez smoked several packs of lady cigarettes upon beholding the roster. That's over! ALL OF THAT IS OVER.

Michigan's offensive line is now a zombie apocalypse. You can shoot as many guys in the head with a shotgun as you want but the pile is gonna lurch forward with you under it.

[After THE JUMP: there is a PFF intern who deserves a whoopin']

Then, as farce. Jim Harbaugh is getting the relative book thrown at him for the Hamburger Incident:

Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and the NCAA are working toward a negotiated resolution that is expected to see him suspended four games this season in penalties stemming from alleged false statements he originally made to investigators, sources tell Yahoo Sports.

This is the same number of games that Michigan State players not named Khary Crump got for the post-game assault on Gemon Green and Jaden McBurrows. For a couple of hamburgers to already-committed recruits. Also Mike Macdonald is receiving a one-year show cause penalty, which is hilariously useless since Macdonald kinda has a job lined up already—he's DC of the Ravens.

None of this matters. Michigan's most difficult game during the period of the suspension is against Rutgers; the national media is more or less ignoring the most blatant pay-for-play scandal to hit college football in a minute, so the only place that's even going to mention this for one second after the suspension expires is the RCMB. It is nonetheless irritating that the NCAA continues wasting its time on the little things they can find at the same time as NIL is rapidly obsoleting the association itself.

[After THE JUMP: Jeremy Pruitt as Nancy Pelosi in that one picture of her kneeling with Africa Scarf™ around her neck]

Previously: Podcast 14.0A, 14.0B, 14.0C. The Story. Quarterback. Running Back. Wide Receiver. Tight End.

[Bolded player rules: not necessarily returning starter, but someone we've seen enough of that I'm no longer talking about their recruiting profile (much, anyway). Extant contributor.]

Tim Drevno put out fantastic, mauling offensive lines at Stanford. The guys they recruited were 3-stars, but they were smart, and didn't have to start until they were redshirt sophomores or juniors, by which time they'd been sufficiently drilled to run Drevno's complicated list of calls and checks. At Michigan he fruitlessly chased after recruits who didn't want his immediate playing time and started a season with Nolan Ulizio at right tackle. The "Drevno Effect" never happened. He's now at UCLA.

Greg Frey, the Rodriguez assistant who recruited tight ends and grew them into Mike Schofield and Taylor Lewan, was brought back for a year. He recruited some more build-a-bears for a year then left for his alma mater. Today he's at Duke.

Ed Warinner seemed like a guy who knew what he was about. Between the first game of 2018 and the 2018 Big Ten season Warinner turned Jon Runyan Jr. from a turnstile into one of the most underrated guards in the NFL. Last year Michigan broomed Ed for a guy born the year Ed coached his first OL at Army. Warinner is now the run game coordinator at FAU.

Sherrone Moore played tackle at Oklahoma in the mid-aughts, and coached tight ends at every stop until Michigan raised him to OL coach. His first line, made of parts acquired by Drevno, Frey, and Warinner, won the Joe Moore Award.

In all that time, with all those coaches, somehow Michigan figured out how to amalgamate all of their philosophies into a stable run of tackles. Runyan graduated and instead of the fanbase collectively chewing their fingers off, a redshirt sophomore Ryan Hayes stepped in. Andrew Stueber graduated to the NFL this offseason and his backup, a 4th year guy, won the job early in spring. Behind him is a classmate who started some in 2020 and 2021. Behind that guy is a 3rd year guy, and a 2nd year guy, and a freshman who's getting talked up even though he's not needed for years. Except for Hayes they're all Warinner recruits, though most are Frey types, and they run Drevno's tackle-pulling gap system. This spring Hayes intimated that Moore was increasing the complexity of their protection calls, since the guys playing have been around long enough to handle more on their plates. Imagine that.