Unverified Voracity Has Feet You Can See Comment Count

Brian September 25th, 2018 at 1:00 PM

[Patrick Barron]

Sponsor note. I can say whatever I want in this one since Hoeg is probably knee-deep in spathi right now. This will make for a marked departure from earlier Hoeglaw-related sponsor notes, which were dictated verbatim from the sponsor. Soooo... let's get crazy.


Richard Hoeg has his own small business, which is in the business of helping other small businesses get off the ground and keep running through the maze of contracts that many small companies must navigate before becoming a success. If you've got a small business or are thinking bout starting one he can help you with all the legal niceties.


Vitally important. Jordan Poole straps his cat to his chest like he has a newborn.

To go to Target? I think? I don't know.

Injury updates. Harbaugh just told the weekly teleconference that Benjamin St-Juste is out for the year and Luiji Vilain had surgery a couple days ago. Both guys are in that early Mike McCray zone where folks are getting a little nervous. Both guys have spent most of their first two years in AA on the shelf.

Recruit 'em all and let God sort 'em out. This tweet started out interesting and then got real depressing:

This shouldn't be interpreted as a shot at recruiting services. When your All-Pros include a walk-on, an Iowa State alum, and two guys so obscure they didn't have recruiting profiles it should be clear that the problem isn't with rankings relative to actual CFB scouting but rather the danged OL themselves.

And then you get into the top recruits, which are an "oh nooooo" if there ever was one: David Dawson. Ethan Pocic, the guy Michigan passed on only to go get a sixth OL later in the class, was a second-round pick. Patrick Kugler. Logan Tuley-Tillman. Chris Fox. All on one chart. Woof.

[After the JUMP: feet, as promised]

Exit Northwestern starter. Jeremy Larkin abruptly retires:

Best of luck to him. Larkin had almost all of Northwestern's rushing attempts on the season; his backup is John Moten IV, who's got 12 carries for 21 yards to date. He's a burlier gent than Larkin.

"You guys wanna see my feet?" The Army-Oklahoma game was on PPV for obscure reasons you can discover if you are so inclined. As Army embarked on a potential game-winning drive, the internet blew up as person after person discovered this potentially monumental upset was not viewable. Enter this guy:


I have to admit that I thought the guy's feet would be a little more interesting. Not because feet in general are interesting, but, just, if you're showing 30k people your feet maybe you have some cool shoes or your feet are actually a hyperintelligent family of rodents.

Coach-in-departing? Rumors have been flying that Urban Meyer is furious that he was held even slightly accountable for sheltering a domestic abuser and publicly, repeatedly lying about it. I didn't give those a whole lot of credence until now:

A person close to the program told The Athletic that senior university officials have begun discussions about a “coach-in-waiting” arrangement, meaning he would be Meyer’s eventual successor as Buckeyes coach. The person spoke on the condition of anonymity because the discussions are in progress. Day doesn’t have any head-coaching experience but did have a three-game trial run as Ohio State’s interim coach.

Meyer is 54. Normally that would mean his retirement is a prospect so distant that a coach in waiting deal would not be effective—who wants to wait a decade-plus?—or considered. The only reason "senior university officials" would be considering that move is if they thought there was a chance Meyer is so furious at getting a slap on the wrist for enabling Zach Smith that he might leave. (Or that Meyer might end up getting fired at some p— ha. Good one.)

College football attendance issues in a nutshell. Alabama—Alabama!—is going to cut seats:

Below a landmark number and everything.

Also, today I learned that Alabama banned a popular song in 2014 because people were appending F-bombs to the end of it. And thus was the scourge of people swearing at football games forever conquered. I dunno man, people doin' things.

Etc.: Barstool is trash. This one's for Craig Ross. Texas is trying to jazz up their crowd. The "Ballers" college recruitment storyline is absurd nonsense. Brian Phillips writes about tigers. Hockey is back on the ice. PSU's third down back is out for the year.



September 25th, 2018 at 1:22 PM ^

That OL tweet has one mistake that I know off the top of my head, and I don't want to take the time to fact check the rest of the players.

But David Dawson did not retire from football. He's the starting RG for GVSU. Side note, JJ McGrath (K) is also on GVSU and is 2-3 on FGs this year, missing from 30, and hitting from 27 and 23. Also, 17/20 on XP. 


September 25th, 2018 at 1:30 PM ^

Damn I’m excited for Michigan Hockey. That article said it all, back to normal, now it’s time to watch the team dismantle the competition.


Slaker-Norris-Lockwood line, “Saturday Night Live”



September 25th, 2018 at 2:19 PM ^

They probably wanted to see if he could even do the job (OSU was a mess under the 1-year reign of Luke Fickell), and it's a shitty athletic department run by snakes - they'd love to see Meyer lose a couple of games/come across as a pissant so that if he leaves/is fired they'll get some coverage by having a guy in waiting and portraying Meyer as a person who they "had" to get rid of because he was a bad guy.


September 25th, 2018 at 2:29 PM ^

Anyone who watched the press conference the night that Meyer was given his three-game suspension could tell everything said afterward was forced by embarrassment and his belief that he was wrongly treated. This explains why he never really wanted to participate in the school's investigation of his case and ignored the order to turn over his phone.

He lied throughout the process, and was apparently required to issue a formal apology before returning to the job. So, this is Ohio State's response to his taciturn reaction to their public relations suspension of his coaching services. It's a reminder that cutting bait is an either or proposition. Of course, Meyer wants to prove he's indispensable as head coach, no matter what happened in the interim.


September 25th, 2018 at 1:39 PM ^

BSJ played most of last year. I wouldn't put him in the Mike McCray Zone yet. I would put him where he is, in Zordich's doghouse. Great coach, but the man does not like injured players.


September 25th, 2018 at 1:50 PM ^

Barstool is garbage, its "stoolies" are garbage, and their founder is an embarrassment to Michigan alum everywhere. Everything about that site and associated with it needs to never be seen in public again.


September 26th, 2018 at 11:30 AM ^

I read it. You've been had. I shouldn't take the time to explain it because your mind is made up and so is mine. But it's really tiring to read this kind of crap on MGoBlog. Nevertheless:

That whole thing is fake. It's "Harbaugh is 3rd place". Did it happen? Yeah, but it lacks any kind of balance or nuance to explain why Portnoy went off on Ponder. Why he and Laura Wagner are constantly getting into it. That article and anything by Deadspin (which is likely the source of every hate piece you've ever read about Barstool) are one-sided hit pieces. They're Paul Finebaum and Hugh Freeze commenting on Harbaugh's southern satellite camps. They ignore and omit the half of the story that makes the whole episode make logical sense.

You may scoff and say "Why would they do that?" (More likely you'll say you don't care about nuance, but I'll assume you have a fair and open mind). Because when they put sensational 'Barstool is Bad' headlines out there, you click the link because you can't wait to be outraged. Nothing personal, I'm the same way. I think it's online human nature. Simultaneously, Barstool fans click the link because they too can't wait to be outraged. Then everybody goes online and gets mad and links the article a billion times over. Then random other websites recap the online feud and link to the source material (much like Brian has here) as well as the imminent Barstool retaliation article. It happens every couple months like clockwork. Nothing is ever new. Like this link from Brian, look at every Portnoy tweet embedded throughout. If Portnoy was so perpetually bad, wouldn't you think they would be able to find something more recent than 2012? He hasn't had an offensive tweet in 6 years? Pretty good run for the worst person on earth.

But they don't. It's the same crap. The skinny jeans/rape comment. The blackout parties. Tom Brady's kid. Video of Smitty in the shower (still a Barstool employee by the way). It's all the same crap on repeat in every anti-Barstool article you've ever read. 15 years of a skyrocketing company boiled down to about 10 outrageous, out-of-context hyperlinks. Recycled and repackaged with whatever recent incident they can frame at the top for your Outrage Clicks to keep the circle of life flowing. Whatever bad thing you write about Barstool, if they notice, you're getting a billion clicks from supporters and dissenters alike. Barstool is condemned for their online army of miscreants, but you know what those guys bring? A crap-ton of web traffic. Heavy, reliable, fast web traffic.

This whole thing is fake. You'd have to consume Barstool products regularly to understand, which you don't and that's fine. But it's all fake outrage. The main targets in that article (especially Deadspin's Wagner) spend their days swatting at the Barstool beehive with a mop handle. And when they finally make contact and the inevitable retaliation swarm comes, they cower and write their "Whoa is me" article about the big Barstool internet meanies. They bring it on themselves for web traffic and everybody obliges - you and I alike. It's too predictable and the articles are too misleading and regular for there to be any other explanation. 

I don't care if you like Barstool or not. I'd only encourage you to have an open mind. I'll leave you with a question: In any of the anti-Barstool articles you've ever read, have they ever interviewed a current or former female Barstool employee? Wouldn't that be a great place to start when you're main accusation is that the Barstool founder hates women? Read Liz's blog post linked below. A Mexican-American woman. There are so many more of those all over the internet - women and minorities sharing her same sentiment. Unfortunately, you're not being fed those links and tweets. You're being fed third-party, half-baked Outrage. Barstool knows who they are. It's these fly-by-night outlets like the Daily Beast that are deceiving you for their own internet survival.


I will now slink back into the shadows. Go Blue.


September 26th, 2018 at 12:24 PM ^

Not worth jumping too far into the weeds on this site. Suffice to say count me on the Big Cat/PFT side that wishes Dave would let these things go. He fuels fires that would go out if he didn't legitimize them.

I'd rather point out the hypocrisy of many of those who call them out (Sarah Spain bullying women in sports media on the internet, an army of hockey twitter writers who've been called out for creepy DMs to women, Deadspin and other competitors getting their dirty laundry aired only to say they've changed when all this Barstool stuff is from 5+ years ago).

The things Barstool has done for good causes -- veterans, families of passed firemen/policemen, ALS and other diseases, response to tragedies like the Marathon bombing or Orlando shooting -- and it's increasingly diverse cast of characters will go without mention.


September 26th, 2018 at 1:02 PM ^

Good post and I don't disagree. I think Portnoy's problem is when these nonsense articles get shoved in the face of their advertisers and sponsors.

In that same vein, I wish Brian, Ace and the boys would stay out of it as well. It's very apparent that they don't pay enough attention to see these articles for what they are. It's irritating to come here for Michigan content and be insulted for what you read on the side by people that have no clue what they're talking about being led around by the nose. Oh well.


September 25th, 2018 at 2:34 PM ^

Not to pour water on that hot taeke but no, he won't.

Sadly Baker Motherfucking Mayfield is going to lead us to enough wins to justify, in the Haslams minds anyways, that the village idiot Hue Jackson needs to get yet ANOTHER year at the helm.

I guess as long as he stays out of the way and lets Greg Williams coach defense and Todd Haley run the offense it'll be ok.   But no, Urbs aint heading up north to coach the Browns.


September 25th, 2018 at 2:50 PM ^

I know you're the Browns expert, but I disagree. I see Jackson as a dead man walking, regardless of how well Baker saves the season. I think they will throw lots of money at Urban (who is pissed the university for being suspended and is willing to leave).  A hot new coach for a hot new QB is my steamy hot take lol. 

Benoit Balls

September 25th, 2018 at 10:24 PM ^

Unless Hue makes the playoffs, I'm BK Finest levels if certain Hue is gone . If that happens,  the short list is John DiFilippo and maaaybe they kick the tires on Lincoln Riley to see if it'd even be feasible (which I kinda doubt). Fortunately, Baker is a helluva selling point, as is a lot of the roster, and Jimmy keeping Hue through 1-31 is helping with the itchy trigger finger reputation. 


September 25th, 2018 at 2:34 PM ^

Ballers is getting worse and worse. The story line is awful and I can't imagine that USC or OSU like having their name used in that way.  All this of course is on the heels of a former player with no assets or cash trying to head up a group to bring a team to Vegas.  And for some reason it took all these billionaires 9.5 episodes to realize that they didn't need him for anything.  


September 25th, 2018 at 2:41 PM ^

The description of the Ballers story line was great!  I haven't seen the show yet, and now have zero plans to watch. 

Jimmie Dale Pritchett...  "This is supposed to be Ohio State, not Texas." !!!!  LMAO - great line!!