Taking All Offers For Jay Cutler. Impress Me.
So, vis a vis this article, http://www.denverpost.com/sports/ci_11919325, Jay Cutler is asking to be traded out of Denver. My impression is that the general public of Broncos Nation is slowly moving to disgust with the Man From Vanderbilt. Out here in Denver, we're just tired of the whining.
Imbued with the powers of the internet, I'll christen myself Fake Broncos G.M. and now open up the shop for all offers. What would you, as Lions fans, give me for the strong-armed proven talent of Jay Cutler?
I will say that the more middle-round picks and nude women included in the offer, the higher you'll rise on my board.
A six pack of Zima and a ham sandwich.
What's the recipe for that sandwich?
Is there Miracle Whip on that proposed sammich? If so, start printing the Honolulu Blue #6's.
Our entire defense, minus Ernie Sims and any player acquired after the Super Bowl.
That and 5 dollars will get you a Hot 'n Ready pizza.
Sold.
And I'm a huge Bronco's fan. He's acting like one of those dumb, spoiled girls on super sweet 16, he's in a perfect situation, but someone says something slightly derragatory about him and he flips out. I think I may have been banned from a bronco's blog for saying "Cutler needs to suck it up a grow a pair and stop acting like a 12 year old girl, or I'm hereby calling him princess man-bitch"
In other words, I'll give you nothing, because he's a bitch.
Madoff's wife and a order of green eggs & ham. Don't worry about her husband...he can't come out to play.
The Bears and Lions offer a joint bid of their entire wide receiving corps outside of Hester and Megatron. Cutler will split his games between the Bears and Lions. He will still be better than the alternative.
And of course in the Bears/Lions games, he will act as All-Time QB.
I'll give you a pair of 50-yd tickets to the next Michigan football night game, and I'll even throw in a maize alternate jersey as well...?
On second thought, I'll just give you the night game guy...
Only if I also get the hotly anticipated alternate helmet design. You know, the one with Mario Bros. 3 P-Wings on it?
I need more than Cutler to give up the P-Wings.
How about the blue pants??
give you all the picks the Lions got from the Cowboys.
I detest Woody Paige. But, I do agree with his column today in the Denver Post. He basically calls out all four parties: Cutler, his agent, Josh McDaniels (new coach), and Pat Bowlen (owner). Everyone will lose something in this mess. Cutler is a whiny baby to be sure, BUT, the new coach didn't exactly establish himself as a person to be trusted.
Strangely, I miss the annual underachivement of the Broncos to this new soap opera version.
As the Lions G.M., I'll offer you a big mack combo and a gerry curl haircut for J.C.
I will offer William Clay Ford for Cutler, straight up.
And I will give, at no extra charge, a nurse to clean up after him when he soils his pants.
Heidi Klum as Jessica Rabbit:
http://jimmyj.kubrick.com/main.php/d/39057-2/Heidi_Klum_Jessica_Rabbit…
And the rights to Jack Lalane:
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/brainiac/lalanne.jpg
Look at the bulge... go on... look at it. Study it...
DET → AZ Culpepper, #20 pick
AZ → DEN Lienart, pick #31
DEN → DET Cutler
Teams might have to throw in a couple late rounders or salary players to get it done.
What say you?
from the thousands of emailed offers I've received, the current leader in the clubhouse is
1.) A candid side-boob photo of Mila Kunis
2.) Alan Moore's beard
3.) A third-round pick with a clause of possibly upgrading to a second-rounder if Jay throws less than 17 picks and Alan Moore's beard is found to be downy soft.
It's more than we as Broncos fan should have even dreamed for.
full access to mangini's mangina
and that's for Off Topic, not Offensive Tackle.
March 16th, 2009 at 11:24 PM ^
I would offer the #20 pick straight up. It would be worth it for a proven QB.
It'a obvious to me that everyone thinks they can lowball Denver for this pick because of the discord the Cutler camp and the Broncos camp. It's also obvious that whoever decides to stop lowballing and try and give Denver reasonably fair value first is going to be the team that gets him.
Not that I know anything about this situation, but it seems as though Minnesota would be a good fit. Jay Cutler is miles ahead of Tavaris Jackson, and if they get a quality QB they could be dangerous.
Jay probably doesn't know what he's getting himself into if he goes to Detroit.