OT: Movember
Gentlemen, it's time again to grow out your 'stache to help raise awareness about men's health issues like prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and suicide.
Talking about these issues should be encouraged. So, I'll start: I had testicular cancer when I was still in college. I got lucky and only needed surgery, but it was a depressing and confusing ordeal to be sure. I also got lucky because I put off going to the doctor for well over a month after I noticed an . . . irregularity because I was scared to find out what was happening. That could have been a disastrous move! Again, I was lucky, but many more guys who put it off aren't.
So men, check your boys this month. And if you notice something, talk to your doctor NOW.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:11 PM ^
Thanks for the PSA.
My wife's a doctor; I'll see if I can get her to check me out tonight.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:31 PM ^
I'll see if I can also get her to check me out.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:54 PM ^
I'm sure she will be quite forthcoming to a credentialed analrapist.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:37 PM ^
My girlfriend's not a doctor; I'll see if I can get her to check me out tonight.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:44 PM ^
I hope she's not a proctologist
November 1st, 2019 at 2:03 PM ^
Hey if you know another way to check the prostate...¯\_(ツ)_/¯
November 1st, 2019 at 4:08 PM ^
Unfortunately I do
November 1st, 2019 at 3:02 PM ^
I also enjoy having sex with women...
November 1st, 2019 at 3:36 PM ^
Are you offering your services?
November 1st, 2019 at 3:44 PM ^
If she can't maybe I can be of assistance?
November 1st, 2019 at 12:14 PM ^
Question for the board:
For those of us who have never grown a mustache, what is the better approach? Grow out all of your facial hair for bit and then shave it down to a stache, or just grow the stache while shaving everything else?
November 1st, 2019 at 12:18 PM ^
Definitely the former.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:22 PM ^
Never grown a mustache?
November 1st, 2019 at 3:32 PM ^
Nope. Itchy and annoying as all hell.
i have a very nice goatee that I’ll not trim for November .... maybe keep it long and braid it
November 2nd, 2019 at 11:44 AM ^
I can put you in touch with an ex-girlfriend. She had that particular skill mastered.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:14 PM ^
Happy we are bringing awareness to suicide this month too. Men struggle with it, and in my case, refuse to talk about it for the worst of reasons.
Mental health now is not taboo in my family and is actually openly discussed. We were just blessed we were able to talk about suicide after I survived instead of what could have happened. As awkward as it is in the beginning, I would rather have an awkward talk than to discuss in grief.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:31 PM ^
You aren't alone. My family has a history of mental health issues. It's much more prevalent than people want to think or acknowledge. My 13 year-old son is currently going through some stuff. I would love to know what's going on in his head right now but he's 13 and probably doesn't know himself or doesn't know how to express it effectively. Having gone through similar issues all I can do is be there for him and let him know that my love for him won't change. And get him the professional help he needs.
I am glad to hear that you were able to turn your situation into something positive. I wish we weren't but it feels like we're in the minority in being ok talking about what we're going through.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:41 PM ^
I feel we are in the minority because the taboo is so strong. It is an invisible wound that you do not know is there unless you say it. I think it would be awesome for every family to sit together, not all the time, but once every 6 months and have a mental check up with every one. An entire day with all phones and computers turned off and talk.
I know that last comment makes me sound like an old man, but it is how I feel would be efficient. Turn off the social media and get back to talking to one another. I was sucked in to social media so much. Had to impress someone or had to prove a point top feel great. This is my only social media today. Besides the usual BPONE, it is a happy website to be apart of.
Long rant, I do apologize, but to make it less taboo we need to have actual conversations with the ones we love. Not some charity run that does nothing but help a company's PR.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:13 PM ^
Totally hear you. Similar thing happened to my son getting sucked into the social media thing and trying to impress his "friends". Fortunately he messed up badly and his mom and I found out before it got really out of control. In retrospect his becoming more & more withdrawn and his grades slipping made sense as the shame and isolation kept piling up. It's going to take awhile to help him become the best person he's capable of being but he should have the support he needs to get there.
You're exactly right about the invisible wound. The suffering is silent and shameful. Not many will admit to needing help for fear of the reaction. If I ever sense it with anyone - not just close friends or family - I quietly let them know I've been there and am always willing to talk.
My kids (15, 13 and 10) don't want to talk about this stuff much so I do my best to keep the lines of communication open even though they tune me out after 5 minutes.
November 1st, 2019 at 5:25 PM ^
It's so encouraging to hear guys talk about this. We have mental illness in my family, with my father being the main victim, and he only started talking about it in his later years after being hospitalized for 6 months. Keep going! I know it's still a stigma, but it can really make a huge difference, in your son's lives especially. If they grow up talking about it, the stigma can shrink over the years. One day, it might just be a regular part of the conversation.
November 1st, 2019 at 10:39 PM ^
Courageous... my your post inspire others.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:34 PM ^
As a mental health professional who works with teens, it remains a big issue amongst young men. Even as a society we have made it more acceptable for men to share their feelings, depression still doesn’t discriminate. Continue to take time and listen to people in your life. A little listening can go such a long way
November 1st, 2019 at 1:24 PM ^
It's a shame that mental health services aren't covered by insurance the same way physical conditions are. A visit to my back doctor only costs me a $40 copay, but BCBS doesn't pay a damn dime for anything mental health related until we hit an insanely high deductible. And the treatment my wife has found most helpful, ketamine infusions, aren't covered at all.
Rant over. Thanks for doing what you do.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:35 PM ^
I too have BCBS (of FL) with a $40 co-pay for specialist. I have no co-pay for mental health. My daughter had to receive residential treatment twice for a total of 4ish weeks when she was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and PTSD and we paid nothing. I'm sure it was negotiated that way with the school board. Our premiums are about $1300 a month for my kids and I (though the school board pays 100% of mine).
November 1st, 2019 at 1:42 PM ^
Damn, that's really good coverage. Similar to what I had a decade or so ago. Then my employer decided to jack up deductibles and copays (which both used to be minimal), while still increasing premiums, figuring that everyone would blame the ACA for the changes. Even though the ACA regulations don't apply to self-funded plans.
Well they were right. People are idiots.
Stay out of the private sector if insurance is important to you. I'm only 42, with a wife and 2 kids, and healthcare is now my single biggest expense. Even more than the mortgage.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:45 PM ^
I work in a school district as well and one of our main bargaining points in this past negotiation was to have improved coverage for mental health services. The data shows that educators have an increasing burnout rate and increasing levels of anxiety. As a member of the mental health team we have in our district I was able to advocate for this. We also added coverage for ABA therapy as well which amazingly, we did not cover at all before this new contract.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:11 PM ^
Compassion fatigue is real.
November 1st, 2019 at 3:12 PM ^
Are you in Michigan? ABA therapy is required by the State of Michigan. Snyder's administration added that law.
November 1st, 2019 at 3:09 PM ^
Blame your employer for your deductible. Your employer added a deductible to lower the premium.
November 1st, 2019 at 3:16 PM ^
I do. It says so in my followup post. They're cunts.
November 1st, 2019 at 6:04 PM ^
Depends on how large your employer is. A lot of smaller employers don't get a choice to have a $0 deductible, even if they wanted to, because it's not common, because they're on a standard benefits plan, because it's not common to want to.
Go back and sort out all the depended clauses there, I'll wait ;)
November 1st, 2019 at 12:41 PM ^
Thank you sir. I'll do the check, but I am a pathetic beard grower. My beard always winds up looking like when Beavis and Butthead tried to give themselves beards.
Damn, we're smooth.....
November 1st, 2019 at 12:51 PM ^
November 1st, 2019 at 12:43 PM ^
I like to joke that I donated my left nut to science. I got TC at Age 36 which is pretty late. Luckily just Stage 1 for me and all good. I fathered a child afterwards on top of it so everything is functional.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:49 PM ^
Am I allowed to just shave the beard i have now and keep the stache, or do I need to shave everything and grow a stache to match the true spirit?
November 1st, 2019 at 1:09 PM ^
MGoBlog: great info, insightful commentary, lotsa fun AND public service.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:19 PM ^
Are you sure you meant to include an "l" in public service?
November 1st, 2019 at 1:18 PM ^
This is why people get all hairy in November? I thought it had something to do with hunting season.
Unfortunately, I'm unable to participate. My facial hair options are clean shaven, 90's goatee, wolf-man, or pedostache.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:24 PM ^
Someone should link the YouTube clip of Tom Green's "Feel Your Balls"
Kidding aside, its great to make sure all is well down there. As uncomfortable as conversations like those may be with your doctor, you could be saving your own life. Peace of mind has no price tag.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 - all lives are valuable and there is nothing so insurmountable that you can't work through it!
November 1st, 2019 at 1:28 PM ^
Hey Doc, we're looking for a prisoner from that bus train wreck a couple hours ago, might be hurtin'.
Uh, what does he look like?
6'1", 180, brown hair, brown eyes, beard. Seen anyone like that around?
Every time I look in the mirror, pal. Except for the beard of course.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:08 PM ^
Don't forget men's breast cancer too!
November 1st, 2019 at 2:52 PM ^
Mental health has become a very strong and important discussion piece for me and the better half as my struggles with addiction put a hamper on things. What brought me/us out of that mess has been therapy and the acceptance of my own shit (rather than running and hiding from it). Talk therapy doesn't fix everything but I do think it's a great tool to explore some stuff (cuz we all got some stuff).
It's not easy to get that ball rolling as men but it's been good to change that narrative, at least in my family!
November 1st, 2019 at 2:54 PM ^
Just started growing my scruff a couple days ago.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:58 PM ^
I would be pleased to grow my mustaches, but how can I make clear to the public that it is there to for testicular cancer awareness? I don't want to be confused for a hipster or a vain man.
November 1st, 2019 at 4:25 PM ^
Just pull a Toby Flenderson. Jump in front of women with your 'stache and say "Smile if you love men's prostates!"
November 1st, 2019 at 3:09 PM ^
Smile if you love men’s prostates!
November 1st, 2019 at 3:35 PM ^
Hard frown
November 1st, 2019 at 4:13 PM ^
Just wait until all you bastards turn 60 - then you really get to know your prostate, cancer or no!