OSU Joke Thread

Q: WHAT IS ONE CHARACTERISTIC POTENITALLY SHARED BY A STUDENT ENROLLED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AND A STUDENT ENROLLED AT OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, EACH OF WHOM APPLIED TO BOTH UNIVERSITIES?

A: A SITUATION COULD EXIST WHEREIN BOTH STUDENTS OBTAINED ADMISSION TO OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, BUT THE PRESENT OHIO STATE STUDENT DID NOT RECEIVE ADMISSION TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN, THEREBY IMPLYING HIS OR HER ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE AND QUANTITY OF EXTRACURRICULAR PARTICIPATION IN HIGH SCHOOL, AS WELL AS THE QUALITY OF HIS OR HER ADMISSIONS APPLICATIONS, WERE AT A LEVEL ALLOWING HIM OR HER TO RECEIVE ADMISSION TO OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, BUT WERE CONSIDERED INFERIOR TO THE STANDARDS NECESSARY FOR ADMISSION TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.

I FIND THAT IN GENERAL IT IS EASIER TO COURT FEMALES WHO ARE ENROLLED AT THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY THAN THOSE WHO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN IN ANN ARBOR, HOWEVER I ALSO FEEL THAT THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY FEMALES ARE LESS ATTRACTIVE IN A SEXUAL SENSE THAN THOSE AT MICHIGAN.

Q: WHY COME BO BETTER THAN WOODY

A: BO DIED OF A HEART ATTACK, WOODY DIED OF AIDS

COLUMBUS IS NAMED AFTER A PERSON WHO THOUGHT HE FOUND INDIA.

ANN ARBOR LIKES TREES.

Q: How do you get a Buckeye off of your front porch?

A: I don't know, ask him politely to move? That doesn't seem so hard. Maybe he's lost and you can help him find his way home. That would be nice. You might have invited him over to your football party, in which case the socially acceptable thing to do would be to invite him in, unless he didn't RSVP and you required RSVPs, in which case you can casually explain to him that there isn't enough food because he didn't phone ahead so if he has already eaten then he can still come in because this isn't Real Housewives of Orange County and there is no need for unnecessary drama simply because your friend forgot to tell you that he will be attending a party that you invited him to in the first place. You probably should have just bought a bit of extra food just in case this happened because you know that some of your friends are just too lazy or inconsiderate to call ahead so you probably could have assumed that this would happen, bought more food, and avoided this whole incident. You can't just tell him to go home, you're better than that. Be a gracious host.

...or you could just pay for the pizza, LOLHISDEGREEISMEANINGLESSLOL!

ZIIIIIIIING!

How do you get a pizza guy off the porch?
Pay him for the pizza!

HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA.

wait...

QUESTION: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEMALE STUDENTS AND/OR CHEERLEADERS AT U OF M AND THEIR COUNTERPARTS AT OHIO ST.?

ANSWER: THE OHIO ST. FEMALE STUDENTS AND/OR CHEERLEADERS ARE AESTHETICALLY UNPLEASANT TO LOOK AT, THEIR FACIAL FEATURES AND PHYSIQUES FREQUENTLY HAVING BOVINE CHARACTERISTICS. FURTHERMORE, THEY HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH EVERYONE, AND CONSEQUENTLY HAVE VERY LOOSE, WORN OUT, AND DISEASE INFESTED VAGINAE. THEY ALSO IMPROPERLY REFER TO THEIR VAGINAE AS "VAGINAS" INSTEAD OF THE GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT "VAGINAE", BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT EDUCATED AND ERGO DON'T KNOW LATIN GRAMMAR. THEY HAVE NO GOALS OR AMBITIONS BEYOND LOCKING DOWN A MAN FOR LIFE, AND LIKE TO SPEND THEIR SPARE TIME PARTICIPATING IN ILICIT USAGE OF ILLEGAL NARCOTICS OF ALL SORTS, AND MOST DEFINITELY NEVER SEEK TO BETTER THEMSELVES INTELLECTUALLY.

at halftime of the last bowl game osu was in Jimmy T was sick of the way his team was playing and he wanted them to get motivated. So he brings an alligator out of locker and says
'men are any of you man enough and strong enough to do this?'
He then juts out his pelvis and the gator chomps on his dick. After a couple minutes he pokes the gator in the eyes and throws it back.
Pryor raises his hand and says
'coach I can do that, but can you please not poke me in the eyes?'

"He has never even heard of, much less been to, Ohio. It would be . . . beneath him."