My cousin Earl

Submitted by RedGreene on

I spent a few months on a couple pay sites and found that a lot of forum members had something in common.. they had what forum members referred to as an "insider".  Now, as far as I could tell, the "insider" was someone who provided some information from the "inside" that nobody else knew at the time.  These most fortunate posters had to keep things hush-hush and couldn't really get into any specifics for fear that they would lose what they called their "connections".  So, often you would see subject lines like..."I heard something today that will have us all yearning for the old days, but that's all I can say at this time for fear of losing my "connections.  If it comes to pass, you all will know in 3-4 years."

(Damn, my wife is calling...I gotta take the dog to the vet as he has a bad infestation of fleas.  I'll be back later to finish this off)

(shit, the board is telling me I don't have enough words to quit now but my wife is gettin pissed.  i'll see if that's enough)

(F*&^&* still not enough and she's gettin out of the car.  how do i save this damn thing so I don't have to start over?  maybe that's enough)

Geaux_Blue

November 2nd, 2009 at 2:22 PM ^

i once was walking down the street and thought "wow, i have to write down these lyrics or else i will never win a grammy." so i ran home and wrote down everything i had come up with and felt really satisfied with myself for i had not forgotten the words but had, instead, come up with every piece of musical and lyrical notation necessary. i then had my 19th beer of the day and went to sleep. when i woke up the next morning, i promptly laid in the bathroom on the cold tile and wanted to die for all the sins of the world and for the unborn babies of the future. please allow me, i prayed, to sacrifice my soul in this moment of tequila shot and "unclean tap line wrecked" draft beer delirium so that they may live. and then i remembered my lyrics i scrambled to the living room, desperate to see some redeeming factor within that beautiful passage of metaphor and emotion... something to bring me back from the blurry and into a happiness that could overcome dehydration and damn-near alcohol poisoning. and when i picked up that piece of paper towel to squint bleerily at the crayon writing i had left behind some five hours before, i read the following "i love and cannon but raven never again!but you heart fallen dashboard home need gatorade tomato lollipop rapper yah ha." somehow that song is more coherent and worthwhile to post on this board than your diary entry. your cousin Earl will deny you at family reunions and your dog just called the SPCA to get himself away from you. dong.

Joined: 01/25/2009

MGoPoints: 24096

Fuzzy Dunlop

November 2nd, 2009 at 2:26 PM ^

If only there was some way to type your thoughts into a separate document, which you could save and return to at your leisure, before pasting the finished product onto an internet message board. Unfortunately, such magical technology will never exist.

Joined: 09/22/2009

MGoPoints: 5710

victors2000

November 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 PM ^

That was an interesting diary, but what was really interesting is when I read, "Damn" from "Damn, my wife is calling"...my wife called. What are the freakin odds of that!?

Joined: 03/21/2009

MGoPoints: 12910

david from wyoming

November 2nd, 2009 at 3:50 PM ^

After the game I decided to stay off mgoboard for a few days until the stupid-storm has passed, hiding out at work until people calm down...... BACK TO THE BUNKER!

Joined: 03/15/2009

MGoPoints: 2981