Prop 1 and Rutgers Weak
This will be a recreational week of sorts for Michigan.
We'll roll into Rutgers' joint and smoke them, leaving nothing but torched Ash.
Our bud, Dr. Blitz, will ensure that our D dispenses blunt force, blasting them with every ounce of strength they can strain for. The ripped DL will be a stone wall, while the loaded secondary will wrap up their Zig Zag-ing receivers.
Our potent offense will vaporize them in a clone of 2016. Shea will pass to the left, right, and middle, dropping dimes as our receivers zip passed their coverage. The OL will concentrate on grinding their D, giving our backs plenty of green ahead—a full four quarters' worth of green.
Rutgers will continue to be a weed in the Garden State, and High Point Stadium will continue being the low point of the Big Ten. Thank Delaney, he drug them into the conference to be lit up all the time.
Meanwhile, we're blossoming at the right time. We'll continue to grow as we prepare to catch fire for bowl season. While waxing Rutgers won't create enough buzz to spark the Herb-streit-types to rank us higher, we'll hash that out against OSU.
Score prediction: 42-0. Another kushy win.
November 9th, 2018 at 10:36 AM ^
Boooooooooooo.
Your puns are bad and you should feel bad for making this a diary (or a post at all).
November 9th, 2018 at 12:42 PM ^
I feel appropriately bad for making a shitty thread and apologize for doing so.
Didn't realize it was shitty prior to reading the comments, which is concerning since the responses indicate that it's obviously shitty, yet I didn't notice. Feel free to list any criticisms, specific or general, and I'll work on my self-awareness.
November 9th, 2018 at 5:48 PM ^
You must have gotten caught up in your recreational use.
November 9th, 2018 at 6:59 PM ^
I am stoned to the bone...and still found this to be a terrible read.
November 9th, 2018 at 10:30 PM ^
Not at all stoned, but I kind of liked it. And I appreciate that it was put in the diaries, which somehow is less objectionable (can't clog the forum topics with this sort of nonsense!).
November 9th, 2018 at 10:37 AM ^
I feel like such a dope.
November 9th, 2018 at 11:07 AM ^
I thought the mods were supposed to weed this stuff out.
November 9th, 2018 at 10:55 AM ^
Who needs drugs when they can kill brain cells reading your diary?
November 9th, 2018 at 11:07 AM ^
Smoke Rutger like all that soon to be legal weed will be!
November 9th, 2018 at 11:50 AM ^
This type of post is why people voted 'No' on Prop 1. Way to save this until AFTER the election.
November 9th, 2018 at 12:14 PM ^
can someone please cue the chris farley, motivational speaker gif?
'you been smokin' some doobie, haven't you, mr. brightside!!?? Thinking you are very clever there, mr. doobie smoker! but if you don't watch out, you'll end up smoking that doobie until you end up living in a van, down by the river!!'
this is as good as i got: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv2VIEY9-A8
November 9th, 2018 at 2:20 PM ^
Speaking of getting high, hopefully we won't treat Rutgers like we did App State...........................
November 9th, 2018 at 3:32 PM ^
Dude...too soon...as in ever.
November 9th, 2018 at 4:25 PM ^
Hopefully this isn't a gateway to even more powerful posts.
November 10th, 2018 at 11:08 AM ^
Hopefully this is a travel brouchure to Bolivia, A repeat performance would warrant a non-refundable deposit towards a reservation.
November 9th, 2018 at 11:29 PM ^
hell yeah brother
November 10th, 2018 at 11:06 AM ^
This post should be right next to punt counter punt.
Because Rutger is so god awful how can they truly have conflicting takes. One saying Rutger is atrocious and the other saying they are awful doesn’t qualify.
However, what P/C-P is to witty, original and well thought out writing; This is its opposite, its reciprical or counter, if you will.
November 11th, 2018 at 3:38 PM ^
Rutger week is really a pre-season week for OT season which is barreling down on us. This being a diary is perfect, an Epilogue post is almost sure to follow.
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