O.T. Football Truths
Here is a list of some football truths my father forwarded me in an email; I figured i should share:
(1) What does the average Univ. of Florida player get on his SATs?
........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
......There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Longhorn football player's life?
........His freshman year.
(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
........None. That's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco?
....... Durham , North Carolina. He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
10. How do you keep an FSU football player out of your front yard?
....... Erect a goal post!
(11) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:10 AM ^
This is absolutely hysterical. I've heard a few of them here and there, but never together like this.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:13 AM ^
but it's way, way too easy to make fun of Duke's football team.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:14 AM ^
A version of this with the entire top 25 would be pretty awesome. This is also hysterical, though.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:15 AM ^
Funny as hell man, great!
What do you call an OSU Buckeye with a national championship ring?
A Thief.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:16 AM ^
September 1st, 2010 at 11:18 AM ^
Awesome.
(12) What's the first thing you ask an MSU player to do when you want to take a picture with him?
...............take off his ski mask.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:22 AM ^
If you see a MSU player on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your bike
September 1st, 2010 at 11:22 AM ^
I'm not sure they let cameras past the prison checkpoints..
September 1st, 2010 at 11:32 AM ^
#13) Why did the spartan grad put his degree on his windshield?
To park in the handicapped spot.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:22 AM ^
College Football humor. Well done.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:24 AM ^
lmao classic! Im gonna use these on fb this season
September 1st, 2010 at 11:51 AM ^
(14) WHAT IS THE PRIMARY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GRADUATE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AND A GRADUATE OF MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY?
ONE COULD PERCEIVE THE EDUCATION RECEIVED BY THE MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY GRADUATE TO BE INFERIOR RELATIVE TO THAT RECEIVED BY HIS PEER, THEREBY THEORETICALLY MAKING HIM LESS QUALIFIED IN THE EYES OF SOME EMPLOYERS. THIS COULD POTENTIALLY LEAD THE MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY GRADUATE TO ACCEPTING A POSITION BELOW HIS CAPABILITIES WITH LIMITED POTENTIAL FOR GROWTH AS HIS OPTIONS MAY BE LIMITED.
September 1st, 2010 at 12:23 PM ^
I c wut u did thar, but was all caps really neccesarry? Usually when you tell a joke you aren't screaming at the audience...unless you are Luis Black.
September 1st, 2010 at 11:53 AM ^
How do you know the toothbrush was invented at Texas A & M? Had it been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
What does it say on the bottom of beer bottles sold on campus at A&M? "Open other end."