jim harbaugh quote or motivational poster

4 hours and 26 minutes

The Sponsors

Thank you to Underground Printing for making this all possible. Rishi and Ryan have been our biggest supporters from the beginning. Check out their wide selection of officially licensed Michigan fan gear at their 3 store locations in Ann Arbor or learn about their custom apparel business at undergroundshirts.com.

Our associate sponsors are: Peak Wealth Management, Matt Demorest - Realtor and Lender, Ann Arbor Elder Law, Michigan Law Grad, The Phil Klein Insurance Group, Winewood Organics, Human ElementSharon's Heating & Air ConditioningVenue by 4M where we recorded this, The Nose Bleeds, which is the Sklars Bros’ reboot of Cheap Seats on UFC Fight PassAutograph: Fandom Rewarded, who just launched an app where you earn rewards for things like reading MGoBlog and listening to this podcast, and introducing Champions Circle, the NIL fund keeping our team together.

1. Weird Jim Harbaugh Era Highlights

Starts at 1:00

There was too much to remember, so we crowd sourced. Sleepovers, satellite camps, the pope, and fun recruiting shenanigans. The Harbaugh era kind of starts and ends with Lou Holtz. There was a lot of diving into pools while fully dressed. People who cover the pope have been watching to see if he ever wears the Jordans that Jim gifted him. Don't drink out of the public fountains in Rome. You ever just grab a handful of meatballs? Character growth arc - Jim Harbaugh and chickens. He told a Peruvian Catholic priest "I'm in the Notre Dame ass-kicking business." Never forget "the white board", what's your favorite quote from it? He's directed traffic for hours. Jim Harbaugh war dad. Alejandro continues to be a real go-getter. Make sure you swipe Freddy P Soft off your shoulder. 

[The rest of the writeup and the player after THE JUMP]

The intrepid Pardon My Take gents provided a window into the rabbit-on-speed soul of Jim Harbaugh after their interview with him last week, and I have not been able to close this tab.

I have looked at these quotes. I have considered them. There are 25 of them, serendipitously. In the greatest of Harbaugh traditions I now propose to rank them, top to bottom. Then I can close the tab.

#25: Addition By Subtraction

image

PROS: May portend good things about Michigan's offensive line this year?

CONS: Unremarkable phrase frequently said by sane persons. Not a full sentence. Does not make me think deeply about how I can improve as a football player and/or person.

#24: Lead Like Truman

image

PROS: Truman was a nondescript senator chosen to be vice president largely because it wouldn't piss off too many people. He was thrust into leadership towards the end of WWII after FDR's death, and he made some brutal choices. As a "make a decision and go" exemplar there are few better.

CONS: Fred Astaire was really good at tap dancing! It was, in fact, his job to tap dance. Out of this context, telling someone they are like one of the most famous and dexterous movie stars of all time is a compliment. The whole second half of this quote is unnecessary. "Don't dither" would be more accurate and, appropriately, shorter.

#23: Fat Is The Enemy Of Speed

image

PROS: Accurate. Useful advice for tight ends and fullbacks.

CONS: Too straightforward to be profound. Not at all weird.

#22: I shouldn't have to pester or harass you

image

PROS: I mean, yeah. Spelled "harass" correctly, which I can't do on the first try.

CONS: There are a number of fairly-interchangeable scolding help-me-help-you quotes on the list that we're about to knock out in a row.

#21: I'd like to help you

image

PROS: "Now that's important" at the end is kind of weird, right? It sort of feels like you're in a room with your coach and he says something to you and then he starts talking to himself.

CONS: see above

#20: I actually know what I am doing.

image

[ED note: assumption is that the second sentence is "When are you going to figure that out?"]

PROS: Michigan has a football coach who can say this in front of a room full of people without that room bursting into laughter.

CONS: see above

#19: A fundamental prerequisite of high integrity

image

PROS: Well, yeah.

CONS: uppers and lowers are all over the place.

#18: Got where I am by rolling up my sleeves

image

[Editor's note: assumption is that this quote reads "Got where I am by rolling up my sleeves, delegating nothing, taking everything personally"]

PROS: While the delegation part can't be true, the taking everything personally damn sure is. Leaving out the "I" gives the sentence a brusque vigor.

CONS: "Personnally" typo.

#17: Change the "I" to a "E"

image

PROS: Scare quotes. A+ somewhat cheesy motivational quote.

CONS: Cheesy even in the coach motivational quote genre, right?

#16: We can't create, invent, or pioneer

image

PROS: Underline and big bolded INTERESTS provide focus on the meat of a veritable thesis statement. Excellent philosophy to keep moving in front of an ever shifting football wave. Advice literally every politician ever would be better off for taking, except then they'd get voted out of office unless everyone took the same advice.

CONS: Kind of wordy.

#15: My soul is happy wherever my body takes me

image

PROS: Pairs with item later on the list as a general philosophy of being places.

CONS: fills me with an ineffable sadness

#14: Do you usually get what you are asking for?

image

PROS: Second-best thing to say to a child on this list.

CONS: What if they say "yes"?

#13: Transform fear into anger

image

PROS: This is the best way to get rid of fear.

CONS: Stuck in a box with another, clearly separate quote. Not great advice if you find yourself surrounded by sharks.

#12: Solve your problems with aggression

image

PROS: Foundational document of Michigan's #1 defense from a year ago. Indicates that Harbaugh and Don Brown are bros to the quote-board level. Sacks!

CONS: Stuck in a box with clearly separate quote. Hopefully holds up with young safeties.

#11: HARBAUGH PYRAMID OF GREATNESS

image

PROS: Might say "TEAR GAS, ACCOUNTANTS, CONDIMENT, CONFLICT, TRUST." Is a Pyramid of Greatness. Explicitly states that conflict is aspired to within the program.

CONS: Might say "TEAM GOALS, ACCOUNTABILITY, COMMMITMENT, CONFLICT, TRUST." Which is fine, I guess.

#10: Don't make somebody a priority

image

PROS: Works equally well as romantic or crootin advice. Pithy. Kind of sounds like something Oprah would say.

CONS: Kind of sounds like something Oprah would say?

#9: Insecurity explains most of life's failures

 image

PROS: Probably the most correct thing on this list.

CONS: The letters  i and e appear in this sentence as both upper- and lowercase in the middle of words. There are two words with all uppercase I/E, one with an uppercase E and lower i, one that is all lowercase. It makes me think I am going crazy.

#8: What ifs

image

PROS: There is a 100% chance I say this to my soon-to-be-verbal child over and over again until he stabs me with a fork.

CONS: Got stabbed with a fork.

#7: Attack each day

image

PROS: Harbaugh classic that would be on the family coat of arms if such a thing existed. Unparalleled single-sentence description of Jim.

CONS: Lack of novelty somewhat dulls its impact here.

#6: Preaching to the choir

image

PROS: Single sentence deconstruction of the problems with political discourse in an age of disaggregation. Brutal ethering of entirety of twitter.

CONS: Could be directed at me?

#5: If you are bored you are boring

image

PROS: Man, you ever been on vacation and just been bored out of your mind and then gotten home and regretted that you did not take better advantage of the time given you in this unusual place? You ever been on a vacation not like that? I haven't.

CONS: Definitely directed at me.

#4: FOIA BURN

image

PROS: Yooooooooooooo. This is a vicious Dave Brandon burn that gets even more vicious if it's unintentional.

CONS: I can't figure out how to inject this into my soul

#3: Oh… that's as helpful as you get

image

PROS: If someone you loved said this to you in a high leverage moment you would curl up and die. The sheer quantity of venom in this single sentence is at "bless your heart" levels. Devastating weapon to be deployed sparingly, lest it shatter its target irreparably.

CONS: Needs a comma after "get."

#2: Aint hard being a football player

image

PROS: The coachiest of coach quotes. Nonsensical tautology with scare quotes around key phrase. Still makes sense, in its way. Sounds like the kind of thing old players at reunions groan in unison about. Good "aint" deployment.

CONS: N/A

#1: Who's got it better than us?

image

PROS: Hearing this out loud for the first time was a revelation. In an era when football is veritably haunted by the specter of the damage waiting down the road, it is a simple, joyous exclamation. Football has costs. Jim Harbaugh proposes that they are worth it, to be here in this locker room with your teammates, fists aloft.

CONS: N/A

16148145812_f3518272d5_b

[file because today was a suit day]

Your brother told us that you threw people out of practice yesterday.

“I did?”

That's what he said. Rick Leach too?

/laughs

“No, you'd never kick Rick Leach out of a Michigan practice.”

Who won the last time-

“That was exaggerated.”

Who won the last time you two played golf?

“I don't know. He won the last big one.”

He said he won nine holes and then you too played two extra holes that you won.

“I don't recall.”

You had five practices. Are you getting a better feel for the personnel and what you have to work with?

“Yes, yes. You get a better feel for – you get to know people as you go. You learn a little more about someone every day.”

Can you talk a little bit about personnel at the center position? I know you've had some attrition.

“Uh huh. Yes.”

I was just wondering who's filling in.

“Glasgow's doing a real nice job. He's been a tough, steady player. We will need others at that position as well.”

Were you disappointed to see Jack [Miller] leave or did you understand it?

“Yeah, and I appreciated the honesty and I have a level of respect for what he had to say and continuing his education. There is some job opportunities that he has and he's going to pursue that, so you always appreciate the honesty.”

In terms of quarterbacks is there maybe one thing that you want a little bit more of right now? How's that all going?

“It's going good. We're making strides every day, like I said earlier. They're doing a lot of little things better and better each day and they're all really – it means a lot to them, each guy that we have. That's all you can ask for as a coach.”

[I purposely didn’t do bullets because you’re going to want to read everything after THE JUMP]