fandom

You're reconsidering your choices in life and how they led you to this place, at this time, wondering if your beloved team is going to be embarrassed on national television while you unwittingly become a meme. You just never know when the camera is going to find you. It's always in these worst moments. At least there are plenty of Michigan fans at this game. Surely they'll find someone who looks more existentially depressed.

[phone buzzes]

Furk.

[Hit THE JUMP for happy things, I swear.]

Seating available [Marc-Grégor Campredon]

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The Question:

The absence of team partisans has been a problem for awhile, and this year especially. What should be done?

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The Responses:

Ace: The lower bowl rarely fills even for big games these days, despite renovations and a decade-long tenure under a great coach whose program plays a fun brand of basketball. I’ve been screaming about expanding the Maize Rage’s courtside section for ages now. They show up earlier and more reliably than townies; they’re louder and more fun; they’ll buy more tickets if they know they have a chance at courtside seats. (Having practically zero shot was a huge deterrent when I was in school.)

There are more issues, but that’s the number one thing for me. When you see the Maize Rage on TV compared to other student sections, it’s a little embarrassing, and that’s not on the Maize Ragers.

It gets extremely frustrating to see them fill several upper bowl sections for big games while townies skip out on lower bowl seats.

They’re also best-equipped to work through the constant excuses I hear for why people don’t show up: bad weather, games too close to dinner, games too late, games too perfectly timed in the evening, etc.

Brian: While I agree that the maize rage should be expanded that takes a huge philosophical leap for the department where something other than the bottom line matters. I thought things would get better with Warde Manuel in charge, and I guess they have. Nobody's trying to put a giant noodle in Michigan stadium or momentarily banning seat cushions.

But I have to admit I'm pretty disappointed that Manuel is just a guy. His tenure at Michigan is a complete blank so far. He has not taken any steps to un-do the damage Brandon wrought, and has continued to maximize ticket revenue at all costs. Without taking a step back there it will remain as it is for all time.

Because it will cost money to make Crisler a better environment.

Ace: I really want someone to show him this:

The staid atmosphere hurts the team. Michigan is 12th in the conference in home-court advantage by KenPom’s rankings.

[How can we incentivize you to hit THE JUMP?]

The kids are alright. [Marc-Grégor Campredon]

Ten nanoseconds after Saban and Swinney cried that high schoolers might get exposed to football programs that actually care what happens to their kids after it, Emmert moved to quickly fix the loophole that allows a football coach from Michigan to ply his trade across state lines.

Harbaugh is already one step ahead:

As a Collegial gesture we invite Coaches from Every College to be involved in our football camp. #Compete #ExposureU pic.twitter.com/lMM4ZiSLx2

— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) April 24, 2015

World: Wait, you can't create a national college football trade fair at your school.

Harbaugh: Just did.

Jim Harbaugh is legend.

FOR WANT OF GLENDENING

Luke Glendening blocked a shot into the neutral zone to seal his own spin-o-rama shorthanded goal as a game-winner to steal Game 1. Red_Lee was so inspired that he created this:

Last night Glendening's Red Wings were cruising to a 2-0 victory (that should have been 4-0 given the play) and a 3-1 series lead when Luke ill-advisedly decided to check a guy near enough to the boards to trip the sensitivities of hockey players towards that sort of thing. While everyone else scrummed about them some Lightning players were able to mess up Luke's hand (Aside: amputating a guy's hand when you're trying to recruit him is some seriously Urban Meyer sh--, Darth).

Without Glendening shadowing one of the top-scoring lines in the country, that line put up two quick goals and a third in overtime. Detroit didn't backcheck properly, and just looked, I don't know, unfocused. The parallels to Star Wars are there, but the parallels to Michigan since Luke graduated are eerie.

IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF MERCYHURST YOU'RE NOT A FAN (OR YOU'RE NORMAL)

Via Spath, Michigan's been having a hard time getting sexy programs to come to Yost unless they're small schools with Utah football-quality hockey programs. Of these, next year's schedule will host Mercyhurst, Robert Morris and Niagara. I bet you two petty Notre Dame administrators that the Domers were one of the "of note"s here:

Michigan wants to schedule top-tier programs but they couldn't get anyone to come to Ann Arbor this year. Everyone of note wanted U-M to come to their venue. And Michigan couldn't do that or it would have ended up with two non-conference home games. They agreed to Union and BU so that they could get those two teams in 2016-17 at home but then they HAD to have home games, and so some of these teams were more willing.

The sooner somebody puts this intra-state round robin thing together the better.

WORDS HAVE MEANINGS

It's offseason alright, evidenced by the feely threads (and one diary) popping up to define words that already mean specific things. To wit:

• A fan is someone who roots for that team. To date there is only one remotely worthwhile adjective that's ever been applied to "fan" to distinguish levels of fanhood: "Loud."
• An alumnus is someone who attended that school; graduation is not required.
• A graduate is someone who graduated from that school.

Last word for today: if you are a graduate or alum who thinks this distinction makes you more of fan, you are an "asshole."

WIFI NAMES ARE 21ST CENTURY NEIGHBORLINESS

Good ideas for Michigan-themed WiFi names? thread is how I learned about the Linden Street Flamingo Heist of 2011:

Shout out to the guy with "HARBAUGH" in a Columbus complex.

Etc. The Royals are the new Sparties of Major League Baseball.

Your Moment of Zen:

Yech:

Yar: