Brian Cook is actually a deity who controls our destiny

Submitted by Dan Man on March 2nd, 2009 at 3:16 PM

How could I have been so naive? I thought the reason for our erratic basketball play was our inexperience and lack of depth. But the evidence is overwhelming: Brian is the reason we suck. He is killing our tourney chances with his liveblogs! It even goes beyond liveblogs though. The very year the Mgoblog switched over to it's new Drupal-powered format, Michigan has not made a single bowl game. That hasn't happened in over 30 years!!! Please switch back to the old format, Brian! You are ruining Michigan athletics!



March 2nd, 2009 at 3:59 PM ^

This can't be stressed enough: everything about being a sports fan is irrational. Embrace it. The fact is that we're a .250 team (2-6) when Brian hosts a CIL and a .727 team (16-6) when he doesn't. Why risk it?


March 2nd, 2009 at 4:20 PM ^

a possibility. But to blindly ascribe this correlation as causal is as much an investment of faith (that is to say, irrational confidence in --specifically, in this case-- to rationality itself. See Hume's "Problem of Induction" to see how this works) as is to do so with other, metaphysically-oriented explanations.


March 2nd, 2009 at 4:17 PM ^

Please stop bothering us with your fancypants "logic" or "facts" or whatever you call it. We much prefer sacrificing goats and reading the entrails, and the entrails tell us no liveblogs. The gods have spoken, and woe to those who disobey.


March 2nd, 2009 at 4:30 PM ^

The Great and Honorable Brain Cook need not be a deity for the liveblog to have an effect on the outcome of the game. After all, it is widely known among Jains that highly emotional activity attracts karmic forces (asrava). Moreover, the effect of karmas is determined by the intensity of our emotional engagement at the time of the binding of the karmas, as well as the purity of our thoughts and actions. Unless the thoughts expressed in the liveblog be pure --a doubtful scenario, I vouch!-- we are sure to see unfavorable outcomes as a result.


March 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 PM ^

I try to make the movements of faith (i.e. believing in the Team over the power of the liveblog), but like Kierkegaard I am pulled back from the abyss. I am the Knight of Infinite Resignation--I can think myself to the edge of the abyss, but cannot make the leap.


March 2nd, 2009 at 5:30 PM ^

Would Brian be Aztec, Greek, Norse, or Roman?:

Ixtlilton -- Aztec -- Games
Nike -- Greek -- Victory
Tyr -- Norse -- Sports
Victoria --Roman -- Victory