OT: Buying an engagement ring

My advice (worth what you pay for it, though I used to design jewelry and have a pretty deep knowledge of gemology):

 

(1) The best deal does not mean the best ring.  Blue Nile and James Allen are certainly the best value but they use prefabricated settings/findings and the bench work sucks.  This is why the rings look like - as someone noted upthread - golf balls on a tee.   Well made custom jewelry fixes that problem because the stone can sit lower to the finger.

(2) BUT, unless you buy a "signed piece" (i.e. Tiffanys, Cartier, Chopard, etc.) for bookoo bucks, good benchwork doesn't have resale value.  I.e., it'll cost you a fair bit more to have a skilled jeweler make you a custom ring from wire, it'll look better on the lady's hand, but you won't get that money back if you ever have to sell the ring.

(3) Diamonds depreciate as soon as they are "used".  They're like a car in that way.  Colored stones hold their value much better.  But colored stones generally aren't appropriate for engagement rings; they can't be worn in all light or with all colors.  (In particular, sapphires, which are trendy because the british royals use them in their rings, tend to black out at night under incandescent light.  Diamonds look good both night and day.  If your lady wants a sapphire I wouldn't hesitate but make sure she understands that it wont perform at night the way a diamond does.

(4) Diamonds are priced like commodities but aren't really commodities IRL.  What I mean is, its easier to figure out how much a diamond is worth based on a GIA cert, but the grades have such a large range that not all diamonds with the same cert and same price perform the same.  For that reason I think better to buy in person if you have a good jeweler available locally who can bring in a bunch of stones for your review (at least 3, preferably 5).

(5) If I were buying, I would buy a SI1 clarity, H color diamond with a ideal cut.  I think that is the sweet spot in terms of price and performance.   Anything below H color can generally be perceived by the naked eye.  SI1 generally requires some effort to pick out because good SI1s are eye clean and bad ones aren't.  You need an eye clean stone  All VS2s are eye clean so if you have to buy on the internet I guess you'd go with a VS2 but there's a substantial price jump between VS2 and SI1.

(6) Can't emphasize enough how important cut is.  Use both GIA/AGS certificate grades and the Holloway Cut Advisor available on Pricescope to ID potential stones for your jeweler to source (or they can do it for you and you can check their work).  But in the end, ideally you want to eyeball the stones in person to see how they perform.  You will see differences even among ideal cut diamonds.

(7) If you're a carat or below, you can get away with a crappily made ring from cast settings, something from James Allen or Blue NIle.   It burns my soul but it's not like anyone will notice the benchwork and the stone will be small enough that it won't sit that high.   Anything bigger and I would try to find a REAL custom guy doing his own wirework.

(8) The best custom guy in NYC, who I believe does mail order work, is Leon Mege  He is expensive compared to James Allen and his shit is gorgeous. But far, far cheaper than Tiffanys or Cartier.  Generally any jeweler in NYC worth their salt will not be on ground floor in diamond district but upstairs and by appointment only.

(9) I personally am a big fan of colored diamonds, which are oh-my-god-really expensive.  But they perform in all light and if you buy a small enough one, they can be attainable.  They are also super rare and hold their value excellently.   I have a .07 carat fancy intense blue in my wedding band and it's cool as shit and has gone up in value 50% since my wife bought it for me.

https://www.intergem.com/all-upcoming-shows/

 

Great deals to be had. Saved a fortune on the ring for my wife through a company called supreme gems Corp. NEGOTIATE.

 

Also, paper certificates for older rings usually provide savings over the new electronic ones. 

I'm coming up on 20 years of marriage.  I used the 2.5x monthly salary to get in the ballpark of what I wanted to spend.  It has to hurt a little to prep you for the pain you will feel for the rest of your life. j/k

When I look at that ring now it is almost an embarrassment to me it looks so tiny.  I guess my "words of wisdom" are to understand in 20 years you should be doing a lot better and if you are still married to the same one, your pain now won't even be a blip then.  Get something that can be accessorised.  I have bought her various wraps and things like that which can be added to the original while keeping it as a centerpiece.

Even though that ring will look puny to you, she will never want to part with it or "upgrade".

Pawn shop really is the only place you won’t get completely hosed. Otherwise, if money is no object, research the 4/5 Cs of diamonds but as you probably know already, that industry intentionally controls the supply so that prices are artificially inflated. 

Really a dumb corporate tradition if you ask me. But women have been sold so it’s pretty much a necessity.