Um...agree with everything you said, however:
"Rivals doesn't have full return stats but they do have him averaging 42.2 yards on kick returns(!); he had four touchdowns in the return game.."
I'd give him a scholarship if he could field every punt and avg. a 1/3 of that yardage, oh and never fumble.
Your write up is so spot on (perhaps a tad politically uncorrect) but hilarious and true none the less.
Love these write ups.
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