Why do we care so much?

Submitted by 1464 on

On the drive home from the bar, I worked up many cutesie things to say about how bad I feel.  About how much suffering I have put myself through just by being a Michigan fan.  But the bottom line is, I just walked out of a bar filled with my friends (not Michigan fans).  They genuinely tried to console me like I had lost a loved one.  They were actually hurt by how much I was hurt.  

I have had time to mill it over.  I am an intelligent person with a good job, a loving family, and a lot of opportunities that have been provided to me.  I call myself intelligent because of the fact that I feel completely stupid being so dejected over something that I can't control.  I honestly feel like a Michigan football addict.

I walked out the front door of the bar without saying anything to anybody.  Why do I allow something that is (a) trivial and (b) completely out of my control dictate how my weekend goes?  How my fall goes?  

I can't continue to be so involved.  I can't continue to overanalyze every recruiting visit.  Every press conference.  Every tweet.  In a way, tonight served as a way for me to understand that I have gotten way too close to a concept.  

Don't get me wrong.  I am still glad that Harbaugh has come home.  I am still glad that Michigan has a future again.  But I've realized that I have to step back from this.  Get some perspective.   There are probably other people on here who feel the same way.

Is this the loss that actually forces me to grow up and treat Michigan football as the object that it is? - A fun three hour escape from reality that shouldn't cause me to drop off the face of the map when faced with a little turbulence?  I don't see very many well adjusted people that are older than I am that live and die by a box score.

I don't know what the point of this post is.  Am I being nihilistic?  Am I overreacting?  Or is it possible that nearly every one of us on this board is way too tied into something that they cannot change, for better or worse?

J.

October 18th, 2015 at 1:49 AM ^

We care because each of us has some moment in the past where an indelible connection was made to Michigan athletics.  For some of you, it was a family initiation at a young age; for others, it was your first Saturday on campus when you decided to go see what the fuss was about.  For me, it was starting elementary school in Michigan and needing to pick a side.

Some fans care too much, and poison trees or send death threats or whatnot.  Most fans go through a period of shared pain, a cathartic release, and get on with our collective lives.  For those of you with Sparty friends / coworkers, the best response is "You guys got lucky, and we'll see you next year," because, really, what else is there to say?

I won't make the argument that the eventual euphoria of victory will outweigh the pain of days like today.  It probably won't, honestly.  But the number one thing we get from our fandom is a sense of community; the camaraderie from cheering for the same thing to happen, despite our complete lack of ability to control whether it happens or not.  We're all in it together, so to speak, and that forms meaningful bonds between us.

Take away sports, and your life may be less stressful, but you will be less connected to the people around you.  I choose the community -- this community, here on the blog, and in the stadium, and all around the world where I have exchanged a quick 'Go Blue!' with strangers wearing the block M.

The bye week is inconvenient -- I wish it'd had been before the MSU game rather than after.  There's only one medicine we all need, and that's a Michigan victory.  Minnesota has been elected to pay for the sins of fate and Sparty luck.

UMinSF

October 18th, 2015 at 2:44 AM ^

This loss hurt more than any game since I was a little kid, in direct proportion to how confidently excited I was all week.

After a lifetime of certainty that Michigan would always - always - be a winning, successful program, everything suddenly changed - we endured a long, dark period.

Miraculously, wonderfully, Michigan football became "right" again. For the first time in years, I looked forward to our matchup with Sparty with confidence.  

Then the game.  Nail-biter, to say the least.  Penalties, mistakes, horrible officiating - but also Harbaugh out-coaching Dantonio for 3 quarters.  Special teams dominance. Clutch defense. 

In the fourth quarter, we seemed determine to choke it away.  Blown coverage, mishandled kickoff return, missed bomb and dropped 3rd down. We were playing tight. Still, we hung on, made one final stop. 

Euphoria! That certainty returning. What a happy day!  Then...that happened.

So, why do I care so much?  I love college football.  I love Michigan - my hometown team, alma mater, and a lifelong connection with my dad.  I love that our players are real students, that we play by the rules on and off the field. I love our traditions, our history. Nothing is better than a fall weekend in Ann Arbor.

Unfortunately, like I've heard so many coaches say, the losses hurt more than the wins feel good.  This one hurts bad.  

Like the OP, maybe I need to let it go, at least a little. 

Diggsrblue2

October 18th, 2015 at 6:56 AM ^

This is exactly how I feel.....too invested, like a relationship you've dedicated many years to, only to have her pack up her stuff and leave without telling you.
Fortunately this feeling will start to leave with the next game

UMForLife

October 18th, 2015 at 6:59 AM ^

1484. I know how you feel. Even after 12 hours, I am sad because I cannot watch football for a week because that play will be reminded. That is why I stopped playing fantasy football because I was getting too caught up. The only obsession I have is Michigan Football. Here is the deal though. If you think back to last seven years and how well we played today, we are way better. We need better players and LUCK. Not Andrew Luck, just plain old luck. I watch this game because of history. But also to support those same kids you refer to. Think of their suffering today. Just imagine us winning a NC next year. If I become a silent observer, then the possible glory won't be that sweet. That is why I am going to be obsessed about this and put myself through the pain of hearing about MSU being #1. Everyone must do what they need to do to set their priorities straight. I hope M football gets better going forward. Go Blue!

Zerodarkwolverine

October 18th, 2015 at 9:14 AM ^

Exactly how I feel. Flew from Florida to Seattle and hung out at their alumni bar. Rallied troops all day and then...the horror 2...lost at least 2 friends over text. woke up at 5am and wonder why the hell I allow myself to do this repeatedly for 30 years. Wish I had some kids to hug



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