For months leading up to, and including my freshman year at Michigan, I was obsessed with Fight Club. The summer before that first year I would watch it 2-3 times a day. It wasn't a demented obsession with a dark movie that kids with LiveJournals tend to have but, instead, an odd fascination with the themes and ideas it explored. Plus it was violent (within reason), the acting was awesome, the soundtrack was great (Pixies!!11!), whatever. 

I ended up writing one of my first college papers on the transfer of novelistic themes/ideas into cinematography, music, acting, etc. The class was "The History of the Novel" and when the syllabus came out and I saw we, literally, were going to be reading and discussing estate ledgers that described what books people owned, I knew I had to find an odd topic to survive. 

While facing the beginning of the season and facing an opponent like UConn immediately I feel that exact same type of skepticism and hope that, by the end, what looks potentially bad could be spun into something that resembles something mildly familiar. What's more, the themes of that movie with the plight this fanbase faces makes for odd bedfellows. 

For the last ten years, the Michigan fan base became compliant. It bought into reserved play and 3 yards and a cloud of dust. We bought into our own legend as much as we bought into the conservative efforts that encourage complacency and consistency over taking chances and striving for an individual, unique method of victory. This was capped in a season where our complacency ultimately stood out in the form of ruminating that life insurance pays triple (or 1AA) if you die on a business flight (or OOC game).

It was time for a change. We met a charming man who dressed funny and spoke of a new way of life. We disposed of all of our worldly pro-styles belongings and dove forward into a new way of life. And got the crap kicked out of us. Again. And Again.

In 2008 something we never expected to happen... happened. And our fearless leader? You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in an everyman sort of way. No fear. Instead, he reminded us: Shifting offenses isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO! 

And let this spread offense take its place in the Michigan halls of lore.

We bought in though. While everyone around us questioned our motives for this and scorned us for the blood on our shirt, we still felt enlightened: that there was something bigger for us down the road. The fan base even began beating upon itself when accused of impropriety, all as a manner to get by towards an eventual outcome. And when the team followed up 2008 with 2009...

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

We knew there might be tough times but there had to be something at the end. Familiar faces of our past came and went, all in the sake of the cause. While we may not have been running around with ski masks, change requires sacrifice. You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. Its name... was undefeated MAC record. Its name... was MSU dominance (or at least in two year blocks). Its name... was national relevance. Lou Holtz ripped on us on ESPN. Lou HOLTZ! No, I didn't quite catch that, Lou. Still not getting it. Ok, I got it. Shit, I lost it. 

People asked us how we could put up with it. HOW CAN YOU NOT FIRE HIM?! And you know what we did? We got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are losing seasons. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened. Tell them, the liberator who destroyed my concepts of Michigan football has realigned my perceptions... The mainstream media, with all of its good intentions, has become the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't. If we could ignore it, we could go on. But does it reveal something true about ourselves, about this, that we are too blind to ignore? Our local columnist... a predator posing as a house pet. 

Over the past two years we, as Michigan fans, have discovered that we are not, in fact, unique snowflakes. In fact, after 8-16, for all intensive purposes we are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the Big Ten.  

Do not get confused. If enlightenment comes at the sacrifice of such a burn on the hand - so be it. At worst, we now know we are tangible - that Michigan is not Michigan but... human. We are all part of the same college football compost heap. 

And by season end, we will find out if our pursuits to overturn the credit structure and return the Michigan balance to zero were the fruitless efforts. Because, like it or not, we are the space monkeys shot into space and Rich Rodriguez is our Tyler Durden. You ask me? I believe he'll bring us through this. As always. he'll carry us - kicking and screaming - and in the end we'll thank him. For the wins.

But the main post is... when people ask you about your fandom and how you can still cheer for Michigan with all of your heart and soul tomorrow... tell them this: You met me at a very strange time in my life.