"Though I received no official response to these sophisticated and elegant tweets to the Illini Athletic Department, I would like to think that Beckman spent the evening prank calling everyone in Illinois named George McLellan and then ordering an absurd amount of hats off an internet haberdashery to hoard in his home's hat annex."
"Tonight we were reminded that Michigan is five years further down the road. Which means we have a long road ahead. The State Farm Center renovations start in a few hours and will run for three years. Let’s hope that when they’re complete, we’re Michigan."
I am the lyrical master. This would be 100% Pure Colombian Awesome but it features Toney Clemons, who seems like a cool guy to have around, front and center and is therefore a little sad. It remains the Coner dropping knowledge, though, so its Pure Colombian Awesome percentage hovers around 98%:
Dude. Cone just smoked Brent Petway. That's Febreze, people.
I wish I could wager on this. Michigan has a new defensive coordinator, but it's the outgoing guy with a reputation, and the stats to back it up, as a blitzing mad scientist. This does not—cannot—dissuade sportswriters, though. There's a new defensive coordinator. Who is he? Anyone. Where is he? Anywhere. The hand moves of its own accord:
I also wish I could bet that this article would state the new scheme is "more aggressive." I wish this because I like free money:
The Wolverines hope the moving parts and the more aggressive scheme generate increased pressure from players other than star end Brandon Graham, who recorded 10 of the team's 29 sacks last fall.
Hurray free money.
Cliche aside, there are a couple of interesting nuggets in the above Rittenberg piece. A pithy summary of Greg Robinson's Big Idea:
"It feels like a 3-4," Ezeh said, "but sometimes we do a 4-3 look."
Michigan is using several players in a hybrid defensive end-linebacker role, including junior Marell Evans, sophomore Brandon Herron, sophomore Steve Watson and freshman Anthony LaLota, an early enrollee. Senior Stevie Brown, who started all 12 games at safety last season, is being used as a safety/strongside linebacker.
Robinson calls the hybrid the "quick" or "spinner," because you have to have a slightly goofy name for any nonstandard position in your defense. If it comes off and they can get production out of the spot, it's a lot less frightening to consider a defensive line of Graham/Martin/RVB with Patterson/Campbell/Sagesse/Banks backups than taking one of those backups and throwing them into the starting lineup.
Then your problem is getting production out of a true freshman, a guy who lost his job last season, a guy who's never seen the field, and a tight end, all of whom have never played this position before. Which good luck with that.
Rumors flyin'. It's Tuesday, so it's time for more Darryl Stonum transfer rumors. These have been debunked by someone close to the situation: Stonum. His myspace page issued a bulletin:
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!
People are speculating 24/7 and I just want to let you know I'm a Michigan Man!! This is where I want to be and I'm truly buying into Coach Rod's system. I know I will be something special on the field and I want to prove that here at Michigan. I love this program and you best believe that. GO BLUE!!
Or, at least, several people on message boards all over the place have replicated that; Stonum's profile is set as private and I'm not on the myspace.
Fly, fly, fly! Denard Robinson was named the second fastest recruit in all the land by Rivals sometime last year. Rivals was right:
Deerfield Beach's Denard Robinson got the near-perfect start he needed, motored down the straightaway and won the 100 meters in a personal-best 10.44 seconds at the BCAA Track Championships at Coral Springs on Saturday.
Robinson's personal-best eclipsed the state standard for this year set by Byrd, a junior at Ida Baker, and it is the second-fastest high school time in the nation, according to Dyestat Elite 100 rankings.
Even better is Robinson's reaction to his smokin' hot time:
''I was kind of disappointed in myself to run a 10.44, but I will accept that.''
Robinson plans on running a 10.3 by states. By the time he arrives on campus he'll be from the future.
Etc.: Yrs truly was on John Bacon's Big Show yesterday; MVictors has a recap and the audio. The Ann Arbor News closing and new media stuff was a primary topic of conversation.
I know that the emphasis put on "track speed" in football is quite excessive, but I cannot help but be excited about seeing Robinson lining up in the wild'rine formation and blowing past some slow-footed linebacker a few times this season.
Hey. He may be on schollie, but he coulda got in anyway. He says so. Listen for it. And recognize.
I personally was a huge fan of Cone aka Febreze's lyrical stylings. Especially the parts about what he will do when and if it ever becomes necessary for him to discharge a firearm in some sort of conflict with another individual or individuals. Suffice to say, based on what he says, he is quite accurate with such weaponry, and one best not attempt to test him or said person might end up outlined in chalk. And I don't think he means as a part of a 2nd grade art project.
I just hope that, at some point, Coner gets into the game and bitch slaps some meathead on another team in garbage time to further solidify his street cred. Such an incident, taken in tandem with this video, would make him a legend.
OSU leads Michigan by 27 points. With ten minutes left in the game, RichRod pulls out his top secret weapon: Mr. Dave(a.k.a. D.C., a.k.a. The Coner, a.k.a. Georgia's Finest).
From the first snap under center, Mr. Dave uses mad lyrical hip hop skills to engage in Jedi mind tricks on the cerebrally inferior Buckeyes, convincing them to take the football from him and score successive touchdowns on themselves. After they lose the game, the groggy, outwitted Fucknuts thank Mr. Dave for the opportunity to serve him.
“No other offense has ever been visited with such severe penalties as seeking to help the oppressed.”
Maybe it's because I didn't go right to the embed on "da' Coner," but I noticed the quote that said we are going to have Stevie Brown play a safety/linebacker hybrid. Doesn't this mean that he will have more run support responsibility? Does this seem like a good idea to anyone? Stevie can ball hawk, but taking a good route to the ball carrier and make a tackle, not so much. (Remember the State game, the NW game, etc.?) Am I wrong about what this position will be doing or are we all doomed?
“Your satisfaction lies in your illusions/ But your delusions are yours and not mine”
Brown doesn't play well in space. He's actually pretty good when he's coming up and supporting the run. He just poops his pants when he's the last line of defense. Trust me when I say that we want him closer to the line of scrimmage.
Also, "ball hawk" is not a word I would use to describe Steve Brown in the least.