this week in the twitterverse

Typically this column tries to grab a cross-section of the happenings of social media. But sometimes an event is so all-encompassing that we can’t look away. No matter how hard we try to move on, a big ol’ train wreck will always grab and hold our attention. Fortunately, this one comes with actual trains:

[NOTE: The magic men behind this video have been trying desperately to pull these videos down as fast as we can bring them up, so if it gets pulled down, don’t worry. The Internet never forgets.]

There are just so many things going on here. Matt Painter makes a half-assed cameo. They attempt to rhyme “outdone” with “Boiler Up” (among about thirty other failed rhymes). The Lonely Island beat. The guy in the tuxedo. The overreliance on the inherent awesomeness of having a big drum. The sunglasses. The lyrics. Ooooooh, the lyrics.

As you can imagine, many people have put in their two cents on the topic. Among the suggested reading:

Sports Illustrated transcribed the lyrics, and in doing so realized half-way through that they were doing the work of the devil.
Purdue blog Hammer and Rails created a breakdown pointing out a number of factual inaccuracies, as well as to the general WTFness.
Spencer Hall over at EDSBS provided a helpful how-to guide for making team-themed music videos. The takeaway: don’t.
Adam Jacobi at Black Hearts Gold Pants showed how Kirk Ferentz would have thrown down, which… just read it.

The only remaining question is where exactly this video falls in the Pantheon of the Pathetic. Let’s take a brief run through the history of terrible team tunes:

[AFTER THE JUMP: Yes, of course there will be Freekbass.]

This Week in the Twitterverse

BiSB •

Programming Notes

Football season is upon us, and with the end of OT season it seems like about time to put This Week in the Twitterverse on the shelf for a while. We’ve got a few ideas as to its replacement, but I’m open to suggestions as well.

Also, you may notice that the name on the dog-tag has changed. Given the number of Brians/Bryans/Bhrayinz working around these parts nowadays, I figured it might reduce some confusion if I peeked half-way out of the name closet, especially since I haven’t been in South Bend for a couple of years. Don’t worry, I’m still a football-playing golden retriever writing based on the promise of delicious noms.

Now... ON TO THE TWITTERVERSE

Social Commitments

I’m sure you all saw last week that Jared Wangler announced that he would become the 38th* Wangler to play football at Michigan. But one of the interesting things about it was that he announced it via Vine.

This is a very encouraging development. No frills, no long lingering build-up, no reach-for-this-hat-fake-grab-that-hat-SURPRISE-I’m-wearing-a-Florida-elbow-pad. Derrick Green’s principal talked for like 20 minutes. I think Cullen Christian’s announcement is still ongoing. Wangler took exactly six seconds. Done and done. This was the 12-minute wedding ceremony of football announcements.

In that vein, it’s only logical that more recruits should commit via various social media outlets. And I have a few suggestions, based on the school you’re planning to choose.

Alabama - YouTube. In fact, 2014 WR commit Derek Kief already did so. So feel free to post your commitment, but be warned: it may be pulled down by the platform at any time based on the flimsiest of reasons, including the ambiguous "violation of the Terms of Service." You will have no recourse.
Nebraska - Instagram Video. It’s like Vine, but it’s 15 seconds long, so you get an extra nine seconds of your life before Bo Pelini starts yelling at you about the size and color of your ears or whatever is pissing him off today.
Ohio State - Regular Instagram. Buckeye players are kinda video-averse these days for some reason. Plus you can use cool filters like “black-and-white security footage.”
MSU - iTunes. Rap game. Spartan fo life. Fo fo life.
Penn State - Vine. But you can only use the first 4 seconds. It’s actually in the NCAA sanctions. Look it up.
Notre Dame - Christian Mingle. "I found Touchdown Jesus's match for me..."
Maryland - MySpace. Nothing screams "wait... people still do that? What are you thinking? No one will ever see you there" like MySpace.
Northwestern - LinkedIn . Networking is a lifelong pursuit, people.
Kentucky - Google Plus. A platform that, while tied into the biggest name in the game, is only a peripheral member of that association which is smirked at by the rest of the empire, still kinda sucks, and you know isn't going to succeed long-term? Sounds like Kentucky to me.
Iowa - Manual Typewriter. Kirk Ferentz doesn’t approve of the internet. Or computers. Or the forward pass.
Purdue - WebMD. "I've decided to play my four years at Purdue." / "TOP RESULTS: Torn Anterior Cruciate Ligament." / "But my knee doesn't feel... oh, there it is."
Ole Miss - PayPal. Oh, no reason. No reason at all.

*Estimate. Exact figures are unavailable.

[AFTER THE JUMP: Jay Bilas sees hypocrisy. Twitter is sees the future. Sparty doesn’t see what’s in front of him.]

This Week in the Twitterverse

BiSB •

Aaaaand we’re back. And we’re done with the ennui stuff. Mostly. More on that in a bit. But for now, we return to the decidedly more upbeat world of social media. As usual, if you come across anything that you think deserves a spot here, send it to @Bry_Mac. Or just find me on the blog. I’ll be the football-playing golden retriever.

Meta

Just when everything was going right for the Maize and Blue, a bombshell. Michigan has once again been thrust into the harrowing and unpredictable world of NCAA violations. And this time, the violations come from the very top of the Twitterverse.

@WiltonSpeight @GeorgeCampbell0 amazing! #goblue
— dick costolo (@dickc) July 29, 2013

That was Twitter CEO and Michigan uber-fan Dick Costolo sharing either a congratulations or a simple comment of amazement on the commitment of George Campbell. The problem was that he replied directly to Campbell and Wilton Speight, which you loyal TWIT readers recognize as an NCAA no-no. Now, this happens all the time, so while it is technically a violation, I’m sure it won’t get very much attention… except for here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and holy crap how can this return 2000 results?

We’re on thin ice here, so Mr. Costolo, if you’re reading this, (a) I know it’s dumb as all get-out but you probably shouldn’t do this again, and (b) HOLY CRAP DICK COSTOLO READS MGOBLOG. Mind staying for an interview? We can order pizza. It’ll be fun.

Don’t worry, though. Ohio State may be equally screwed. You see, their newest commit, Demetrius Knox, has been a long-time Buckeye fan, and as such he has been posting for a long time on the Eleven Warriors forum. J’accuse! The posters communicating with him have been unknowingly violating NCAA strictures for months, if not years. It’s such a problem that they literally have to ostracize the kid.

Meanwhile, Bob Stoops becomes the latest coach to actively encourage fans to tweet recruits.

"That's something that's becoming a part of it," said Stoops when asked if he had concerns about fans contacting recruits on Twitter. "We may hire you to govern our social media with the fans… I'm not kidding," he said. Once things get rolling, it's not stopping."

So wait a minute: Stoops is just openly telling fans to contact recruits on Twitter? Something even OU's own compliance department frowns upon?

"I'm pretty sure that's what it means," said Stoops. "You hear that OU fans? We have to get on board."

This is on the heels of Vandy coach James Franklin condoning it. And yet THIS isn’t a violation. Orchestrating innumerable violations is not itself a violation. I guess what I’m saying is O’BANNON RULES.