tom crean

[Marc-Gregor Campredon]

9/18/2021 – Michigan 20, Rutgers 13 – 4-0, 1-0 Big Ten

Well, at least it took 3.5 games to get back to the same old feeling. The grim one, where you're staring grimly at the grim field where grim things are happening and then Michigan and its steamroller of a run game takes a delay of game penalty instead of attempting a fourth and one. After that there's another penalty before Michigan can finally punt. The color drains out of the world until you forget where you are and momentarily think you're at Eastern's stadium, which is now gray—not just gray, but gray-gray, ultragray—in some sort of marketing stunt turned guerilla art installation.

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Say what you want about the Eastern Michigan Eagles' proficiency at football, but never slander their perspective on the fatalistic trudge we call life. Football is healthy and good to have influence your thoughts.

At times like these the man with the mustache arrives in my head.

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You can find him by googling for "sad Florida State fan," and you will discover that this is now a bustling corner of the image search internet populated by folks in glitter and surrender cobras from sea to shining sea. But mustache man is still first, because he is a perfect distillation of the emptiness of a bad football game where your team gets to do the fun parts three plays, and only three plays, at a time while the opposition dunks on you.

He is also a tribute to the human ability to read nuance into facial expressions. What makes Sad Mustache Man so compelling? He merely stares ahead, stoic. His brow furrows slightly. The way he communicates the existential angst of Ole Miss punching your face in is mysterious. Blindingly clear, and somehow impossible to define. He stares into the middle distance and attempts to keep all his atoms in the same place.

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Since Michigan was playing Rutgers, "dunks on you" means "scores ten points in a half and still loses." The feeling is still the same. Michigan's second half didn't lose this game; it felt like it lost future games. At some point down the road when Michigan gets conked everyone watching will think about how the second half of Rutgers foretold this woeful fate.

Which, I guess, fine, okay, yeah. I predicted this team would go 7-5 and so did everyone else. Even after… that, a reversion to that level of pessimism is not reasonable. A reversion to the same old thing—9-3 or thereabouts, losing most of the exciting games, not being particularly competitive against Ohio State—is, and here we're in the same treadmill it seems like we've always been on.

Michigan can exceed expectations this year and still put up something entirely unsatisfying. Too good to fire, not good enough to enjoy. That's not fate, of course: maybe Greg Schiano is pretty good at this and Michigan will receive a wake-up call and actually bomb someone worth bombing on the road. One half doesn't erase the other halves.

But when you keep walking down the same road year after year it's hard to expect that something's different until it actually is. Until then, a steady stare into the middle distance is always a good option. Doesn't usually get you put on TV unless you're a perfect distillation of sadness, and even then there's usually someone just as sad but dressed more outlandishly.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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I AM DETECTING AN ILLEGALITY [Barron]

-2535ac8789d1b499[1]you're the man now, dog

#1 Aidan Hutchinson. Didn't have a massive game statistically but is likely to check in with a monster UFR number. Had a sack, bowled over an OL on the direct snap to Pacheco, probably should have drawn multiple holding flags. Making up for meh performances otherwise.

#2 Nikhai Hill-Green. Shuffled through traffic on the second to last Rutgers drive to stick folks short of the sticks on critical plays. Led team in tackles, a fair few of which were important. Preseason hype seems not crazy.

#3 Brad Robbins. Ok he had a bad one but the one he dropped at the three that took a right turn out of bounds was important, and he limited the dangerous Cruicshank to just one punt return attempt.

Honorable mention: Josh Ross turned in a good performance with one thunderous TFL before leaving; Chris Hinton got off a block on one of the key Hill-Green stuffs to help; Dax Hill was a bit up and down but did stuff some perimeter stuff.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

16: The OL (#1 Wash, #1 NIU)

14: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash, #1 Rutgers)

11: Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU)

8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU)

7: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU)

6: Nikhai Hill-Green(HM NIU, #2 Rutgers)

5: Dax Hill (#3 WMU, HM NIU, HM Rutgers)

4: AJ Henning (HM WMU, #3 NIU),

3: Donovan Edwards(T2 NIU), Josh Ross (HM Wash, HM NIU, HM Rutgers)

1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU),Mike Sainristil (HM WMU), Brad Robbins (HM Wash), Jake Moody (HM Wash), Mazi Smith (HM Wash), Gemon Green(HM NIU), Cornelius Johnson(HM NIU), Chris Hinton (HM Rutgers)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Michigan's opening drive is a 17-play marathon featuring two passes, a touchdown, and the absorption of half a quarter.

Honorable mention: Hill-Green gets back to back sticks to functionally end the game; bonafide RPO gets Roman Wilson a chunk on Michigan's second efficient TD drive to start; ditto the Sainristil catch; officials ignore a blatant block in the back on Henning's return.

image​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

Can I say the entire second half? No? Okay, uh, McNamara missing three straight open receivers on one of the three-and-outs. (Sainristil could have caught the first one, yes; still low.)

Honorable mention: The rest of the second half.

[After THE JUMP: up up up up nope nope nope nope]

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Exit Jeff Meyer. Lavall Jordan's first act as Butler head coach was to snatch longtime Beilein assistant Jeff Meyer out from under Michigan's Walter White. The parting was amicable:

The list of guys Meyer recruited at Michigan is a long and impressive one; also he got bizarrely chewed out by Tom Crean that one time. He will be missed. Beilein's had a knack for finding new coaches of late, so the program probably won't take much of a hit. The most relevant bit of this for Michigan fans may be what it says about Jordan: being able to snag a high profile assistant from Michigan is impressive. If he can keep Butler at its current level, Michigan's post-Beilein coaching search may well be one phone call.

I haven't seen any names for Meyer's replacement yet, which is somewhat unusual. Saadi Washington was instantly a likely hire when Alexander and Jordan departed for head jobs elsewhere. There is someone available…

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[Bryan Fuller]

Before you spit roast my head, consider that this would get Jim Harbaugh behind Michigan's bench at basketball games? And it would be really funny? And Crean might do it to get his furious revenge on Indiana? Yes? Maybe? No. Fine.

NORM. Here's something barely related to sports but good enough for this here site: Norm MacDonald infuriating a collection of Iowa honchos 20 years ago.

University of Iowa Athletic Department officials were teed off enough about Norm Macdonald’s Sunday night comedy act that they yanked his golf invitation for Monday.

Several members of the audience left during Macdonald’s act, which contained references to sex acts, AIDS and homosexuality. The comic alluded to the stream of people leaving the auditorium, but continued his set. “What do you want to talk about? Losing your luggage at the airport?” he asked as people left.

U of I Athletic Director Bob Bowlsby said Macdonald’s act “would be considered to be in very bad taste in nearly every venue in America.” Athletic Department spokesman Rick Klatt said the U of I was assured during contract negotiations that Macdonald could meet guidelines. “We were very explicit about the details of the event, and about the type of people who would be there,” Klatt said.

Mike Bridenstine, Los Angeles-based comedian/writer who grew up in Muscatine and attended the show as a teen:

“The joke that got the biggest/worst reaction was about bestiality porn. Old people and little kids were filing out. My mom felt so uncomfortable that she walked into the lobby, but complained, ‘They piped the sound out there too.’

“I physically hurt from laughing."

I went to a Norm MacDonald show at about the same time—maybe a couple of years later—and the main thing I remember from it is somehow Norm arrived at a point where it made sense to say "this cake here is my girlfriend. I f---ed it last night." I did not realize it at the time but I now know the show would have been greatly improved if Kirk Ferentz was there, fuming.

Norm himself:

“I didn’t even know anything was wrong. And then the next day these guys ... from some radio station or something, like I was sleeping, and they start asking these questions, you know. I didn’t know what to do, so I just tried to be funny. They go ‘Do you think your act is obscene?’ So I said ‘No, I think what’s obscene is there’s like kids dying in Vietnam, you know?’

“He goes ‘There’s no war in Vietnam!’ He like got all mad at me.”

I like Norm.

Angelique on Speight. He's been working to stay in front of Peters:

After returning from Michigan’s trip to Rome, Speight continued to watch every play from the entire season.

“I watched a little bit before spring ball, as well, but I got back to America and immediately went and clicked on the film and started watching that and knocked it all out,” Speight said. “Watched every game twice. There were certain plays in a few games at the end of the year that I wish I could have changed, but that’s what you live and learn from and you get better.”

He's imbibed the tao of Harbaugh when it comes to his injury:

He won’t be specific about the injury but said the shoulder is “back to 100 percent.” He also won’t say if he had surgery and turns coy when the subject comes up.

“I can’t remember,” Speight said, smiling. “That was way back in January, February, December.”

You know that thing where you turn into your father as you age? Yeah, that.

Catching up with Vincent Smith. Dan Murphy profiles Michigan's toughest running back in recent memory:

Vincent Smith is building momentum. He takes two short strides, sinking his hips like a retracting pinball plunger, and then launches himself clear over an 8-foot swath of freshly tilled and seeded earth. Smith gathers the five-gallon bucket of winter rye seeds next to his landing spot and moves on to the next patch of dirt.

It's late October in Michigan, and Smith is doing what he can to prep his garden-in-progress for the cold months ahead. The vacant lot he is trying to repurpose sits two blocks from the infamous Flint River, which in recent years delivered lead-tainted waters to the citizens of one of the Rust Belt's most down-on-its-luck cities. The rest of the street is lined by houses that range from worn but loved to dilapidated. The house that once stood on Smith's lot caught fire, and the city ordered its demolition several years earlier. He and a band of helpers spent weeks picking pieces of the old house and other garbage out of the ground when they decided last year that it was a good candidate to be turned into a community garden.

DJ Wilson scouted. DX on Wilson:

It will be interesting to see how his frame develops as he matures, since he already possess the skill set of a stretch-4, but he needs to add toughness and competitiveness to not emerge as a one-dimensional player. With NBA teams continue to search for big men who can shoot, handle, pass and switch, Wilson is a strong first round pick candidate and should have plenty of chances to break into an NBA rotation. - Source:

That's why he's in the draft: he's perfect for the modern NBA, where centers are power forwards who are expected to switch onto point guards and shoot threes. There's a 0% chance someone doesn't take him in the first round, because if he continues developing he can be part of a devastating five-out offense. Also despite being 21 he's got the upside of a younger player. Beilein:

"He’s just on his way to being a really good player," Beilein said. "He can really shoot. Put it together with his defense … he’s 21 with a body of a 19-year-old. The best is yet to come for him. He’s a super kid on and off the court; very coachable.

"Whoever gets him is going to be very fortunate."

If we could stop with the "DJ got bad advice" thing that would be great. He supposedly has a promise from the Nets, even.

Nope. Texas OT Brandon Hodges is looking to grad transfer but if Barking Carnival is right about the reason for his departure this will be a non-starter for Michigan:

Hodges was projected to start at right tackle, but he was reportedly done in by grades. Eric Nahlin at Inside Texas alluded this news coming a couple of days ago.

Michigan's last best shot at a grad transfer was Sunny Odogwu.

Etc.: Former NFL RB Alfonso Smith is joining the program as a staffer. David Harris to the Patriots. Ann Arbor is expensive.

[Ed-Seth: Yes, basketball season is approaching. We'll jump early though]

tom crean

Jim Harbaugh’s brother-in-law [SBNation]

PREVIOUSLY: Illinois.

After Indiana dropped two of three games (all against mediocre competition) in the Maui Invitational and were blown out in the ACC – Big Ten challenge by Duke, there was understandable unease among the Hoosier faithful; things took an even worse turn when their second-leading scorer, James Blackmon, Jr., was lost to a season-ending injury right before conference play. Because Tom Crean’s still at the helm of that particular ship, people started complaining about him again.

[More on the Hoosiers after the JUMP]