soccer

back: noted [Patrick Barron]

Phonebooks (not that phonebook) are here. Bill Connelly has released his preseason rankings for 2023. Michigan's up there, as you might imagine:

image

Penn State? I guess Penn State. Drew uber Alles, per SP+. Notable that there is a pretty big gulf between #4 and #5 there, and and even bigger gulf between Penn State and the rest of the Big Ten. The next-best B10 team is Wisconsin at #25, followed by Iowa at 27 and Minnesota at 30. MSU is at 47.

One reason Michigan ranks so high is that they're 5th in returning production and that may undersell it a bit because Connelly's offensive formula has returning RB yards as just 6% of the total. I think that's generally reasonable since RBs are fairly plug and play these days but probably underrates the impact getting Donovan Edwards and Blake Corum back has for M. Let's read a nice thing:

Michigan (third in SP+ in 2022, fifth in returning production in 2023)

When FSU has a chance to be the story, FSU is the story. That's the way these things tend to work. But it's pretty jarring to see a team that made the CFP one year also rank in the top five in returning production the next.

The Wolverines are projected to return quarterback J.J. McCarthy, running back and Heisman hopeful Blake Corum and nine of their 12 defenders with 400-plus snaps. Plus, Jim Harbaugh made deft use of the portal, adding reinforcements to both the linebacking corps and an already-awesome offensive line. Both Ohio State and Penn State enter 2023 with hopes of preventing a third straight Big Ten title for Michigan, but they'll have to clear a really high bar.

Yeah. Clear our bar, please. FWIW, Connelly has Michigan at 50/50 to finish 11-1 or better, which means they're about 80-90% to enter the OSU game as a virtual playoff quarterfinal, give or take the backdoor route.

[After THE JUMP: Aussie gonna Aussie.]

Previously: The Story 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008.

4/31/2022 – Independiente De Medellin 0, Atletico National 0

He introduces himself as "Davey." He's wearing a hat that says DO IT IN A VAN, mysteriously, and the first thing he says is that he is very sorry but he is still drunk from last night because it was an American friend's last night in the country. Then he says his girlfriend is going to drive us, and that his girlfriend is not very happy with him. Then he apologizes again because he does not know that these are the three best facts I can learn about the guide of a food tour I'm going on. Tranquilo.

It is immediately apparent that Davey doesn't know anything about food, but this is fine. He says he speaks three languages, "Spanish, English, and bullshit." He takes us to Medellin's main market, where men you must avoid arm-wresting at all costs lug a seemingly infinite variety of products, mostly fruits. Many of these fruits are strange to gringo eyes, and Davey wanders through the market asking for various items and a knife so he can cut them and hand them to us.

These fruits are… unrefined. When you go to an American megamart the things that line the shelves have been relentlessly iterated to strip out things which interfere with the flavor. The Colombian oddities have not gone through this process and can be eye-wateringly tart or mostly seeds or one giant pit with a thin layer of fruit-type substance around it. The usual thing to do is to rhapsodize about the pure untrammeled authenticity of such things, but they're not actually better. We're sampling a smoothie-type thing made from a hard, luridly orangish fruit; Davey's girlfriend questions us about whether we like it, in the way of people who are almost but not quite mutually unintelligible. She makes a face and a sort of money gesture with her hands—she doesn't like the texture. She has a point.

Davey suggests that about half the things he hands to me are aphrodisiacs. He uses his arm to demonstrate their purported effects. He flops his forearm down from the elbow and looks at me, cocking an eyebrow. I nod. There doesn't seem to be anything else I can do.

[After THE JUMP: a fun little guy who's confused]

1 hour and 32 minutes

The Sponsors

This show is presented by UGP & The Bo Store, and if it wasn’t for Rishi and Ryan, MGoBlog would have ceased to exist in 2012, therefore Dave Brandon would still be your AD. But hey, we did give him credit for a thing in this podcast.

Our other sponsors are also key to all of this: the Residence Inn Ann Arbor Downtown gave us a room, the University of Michigan Alumni Association gave us a membership, Ann Arbor Elder Lawgave us a plan, Michigan Law Grad got us down to a misdemeanor, Human Element got the site back up, the Phil Klein Insurance Group paid out our "if we have to podcast in June" policy, Peak Wealth Management invested it, HomeSure Lending can get that home loan set up so psst Juwan, give him a call man, and introducing Fuegobox, the reason we can spit fire.

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1. The Word Series Experience wsg Colin Johnston (Manuel Excel/@ColinTJ on Twitter)

(starts at 1:00)

This didn’t come from nowhere, but wow we kinda came outta nowhere. Pitching is what got us here and OMIGOD that FSU game. Could that pitching go MLB? Kerr has been amazing.

2. Vanderbilt Preview, again with Colin

(starts at 23:07)

Monsters, baseball version of the Villanova team our 2018 basketball team ran into, right down to the top two guys who might be the best two players in the country. Preseason and money #1. Michigan hasn’t faced hitters like #4 overall JJ Bleday or Austin Martin, who’ll be top ten next year, or Kumar Rocker, son of Tracy Rocker, the former Outland Trophy winner from Auburn, who wears #80 because he looks like a tight end, throws 95 mph with an 84 mph slider that goes straight down. He’s not even their best pitcher either.

3. Baseball: The Future

(starts at 36:39)

Bakich is sticking around, so is the pitching coach? Michigan’s academics and the Go Blue Guarantee might set them up to be a Gonzaga, if they don’t move the North to its own wood bat league. Academics matter a ton in recruiting in this sport, and Bakich is a hell of a recruiter. Probably get to keep him unless Vanderbilt comes along one day.

4. Soccer

(starts at 57:26)

Jealous of their wingers. The women’s hamblasting: we are all for blowouts and spiciness in sports, e.g. Dantonio’s march. Men’s team is starting to bring our confidence level in the kids. Stole a New Zealander. Boyd is going to be the Dempsey, which we haven’t had forever. Disappointing thing about not having Adams: he flashed that ability they really need a midfield with some bite. Why is U.S. soccer so good at women’s development but not men’s? Title IX: we’ve put more money towards it. Get on Zardis if you want but he’s a runner and he’s one of the only Americans out there scoring goals.

MUSIC
  • "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"—Jaqueline Schwab
  • "The Execution of All Things"—Rilo Kiley
  • "Orange Crush"—R.E.M.
  • “Across 110th Street”
THE USUAL LINKS

Think of all the logo changes Michigan State’s had, and now they have a good one.