dr. james joseph harbaugh at your service
We have reached the Elite Eight of the first annual Jim Harbaugh GIF Tournament. The decisions, as you'd expect, are only getting more difficult.
Which insane Harbaugh grin do you like more? Is the genesis of the term "rage stripping" more worthy of advancing than perhaps the most purely Harbaugh moment of the year? Are we finally going to see a one-seed go down? Those questions and more will be answered in this here post by you, beloved readers. Godspeed.
THE GOOD TIMES
The Sweet Sixteen results:
#1 Harbaugh As Grinch: 1,542 (81%)
#4 Harbuagh/Drevno Awkward Celebration: 369 (19%)
#2 Spring Game Grin: 1,269 (70%)
#3 "You're Really Good": 550 (30%)
We have ourselves a grin-off.
(1) Harbaugh As Grinch vs. (2) Spring Game Grin
Do you prefer nefarious Harbaugh?
Or content Harbaugh?
(These may be essentially the same thing.)
THE BAD TIMES
The Sweet Sixteen results:
#1 Rage Stripping: 1,326 (77%)
#4 Rage On The Run: 404 (23%)
#2 Slow-Motion Meltdown: 759 (44%)
#3 WELL OKAY: 971 (56%)
The toughest region features a minor upset to set up another near-impossible choice in the regional final.
(1) Rage Stripping vs. (3) WELL OKAY
Do you prefer Harbaugh in full "come at me, bro" form?
Or Harbaugh in, well...
After a Florida defender committed an obvious facemask on Amara Darboh, Harbaugh sprinted down the sideline screaming for a call, gesticulating the whole way.
You may note a brave player—by the arm sleeve, I believe it's Jabrill Peppers—tried to get Harbaugh's attention when he reached the offical. Harbaugh, too deep into rage mode to notice, proceeded to scream "HEY, THEN CALL IT. YOU CALLED IT? YOU CALLED IT? WELL, OKAY."
...full Harbaugh form?
HARBAUGH IN ACTION
The Sweet Sixteen results:
#1 Dr. Harbaugh: 1,009 (62%)
#5 Hype-Up Beating: 628 (38%)
#2 Punt Demo: 1,049 (65%)
#3 Harbaugh's Huddle: 566 (35%)
(1) Dr. Harbaugh vs. (2) Punt Demo
Do you prefer sophomoric physical humor?
Or other sophomoric physical humor?
MISCELLANEOUS HARBAUGH
The Sweet Sixteen results:
#1 Good Shit, Jedd: 848 (55%)
#4 Head Scratcher: 704 (45%)
#2 Snow Crabs?: 684 (42%)
#3 Pffffffhahahaha: 928 (58%)
"Good Shit, Jedd" continues to be on the shakiest ground of any one-seed because of the story vs. action dichotomy. Is this the round it goes down?
(1) Good Shit, Jedd vs. (3) Pffffffhahahaha
Do you prefer a great story?
Or a great face?
Voting will remain open until Tuesday, when we'll narrow this down to the Final Four.
Oh, man, it's about to get good. Before we get to the Sweet Sixteen matchups, here's a look at the results from the Miscellaneous Harbaugh region, which nearly featured a major upset:
#1 Good Shit, Jedd: 972 (52%)
#8 Exit Stage Right: 903 (48%)
#4 Head Scratcher: 973 (60%)
#5 Cringe Emoji: 651 (40%)
#3 Pffffffhahahaha: 969 (57%)
#6 What F-ing Happened: 723 (43%)
#2 Snow Crabs?: 1,005 (60%)
#7 Shoulder Slump: 678 (40%)
The first round nearly went chalk across all four regions. That should change as we progress to the next round, which features some brutally difficult choices—especially, as you might expect, in the Bad Times region. Here's your Sweet Sixteen; I finally figured out how to make each poll open in a new tab, which should make the voting process a lot less annoying.
THE GOOD TIMES
(1) Harbaugh As Grinch vs. (4) Harbaugh/Drevno Awkward Celebration
Def. Harbaugh Clapping 93% to 7% in first round
That moment when Harbaugh snaps from bored press conference mode to diabolical Bond villian mode makes this GIF for me.
Def. Harbaugh/Drevno Successful Fist Bump 56% to 44% in first round
Hypothesis: Harbaugh switches up his celebratory bumps/high-fives/daps at the last moment just to see if his assistants can adjust on the fly.
Drevno passed, but it got hairy for a moment there.
(2) Spring Game Grin vs. (3) "You're Really Good"
Def. Fist Pump 76% to 24% in the first round.
If anyone has ever been more content to be at a spring game, I haven't seen it.
Def. Rudock Hug-Like Substance 57% to 43% in the first round.
Harbaugh geeking out over how good Jabrill Peppers is at football is remarkably endearing.
THE BAD TIMES
(1) Rage Stripping vs. (5) Rage On The Run
Def. Hat Antics 88% to 12% in the first round.
Given the horrified reaction of John Baxter...
...we probably should've anticipated his departure for USC.
Def. Sheet Throw 56% to 44% in the first round.
The on-the-run, back-to-front hat removal is spectacular.
(2) Slow-Motion Meltdown vs. (3) WELL OKAY
Def. Intent To Deceive 79% to 21% in the first round.
This matchup...
Def. Plea To The Football Gods 86% to 14% in the first round.
...is the toughest matchup.
HARBAUGH IN ACTION
(1) Dr. Harbaugh vs. (5) Hype-Up Beating
Def. Pre-Snap Adjustment 80% to 20% in the first round.
The BTN is thankful they weren't showing the reverse angle.
Def. Green Ass Smack 55% to 45% in the first round.
"Now go out there and kick some ass."
"Coach, I need smelling salts."
(2) Punt Demo vs. (3) Harbaugh's Huddle
Def. What's The Call 86% to 14% in the first round.
Yet again...
...John Baxter is appalled.
Def. Ready To Play 57% to 43% in the first round.
From a pure visual standpoint, perhaps my favorite GIF in the field. The winged helmet remains untouchable.
MISCELLANEOUS HARBAUGH
(1) Good Shit, Jedd vs. (4) Head Scratcher
Def. Exit Stage Right 52% to 48% in the first round.
The GIF with a great story and not much action appears ripe for an upset after barely surviving the opening round.
Def. Cringe Emoji 60% to 40% in the first round.
This is essentially Cringe Emoji with a bonus headscratch, so it's no wonder this won by a comfortable margin in the first round.
(2) Snow Crabs? vs. (3) Pffffffhahahaha
Def. Shoulder Slump 60% to 40% in the first round.
A priceless reaction.
Def. What F-ing Happened 57% to 43% in the first round.
Ditto.
Previously: The Good Times Region, The Bad Times Region
Before moving on to the third of our four regions of the tournament, let's look over the results from The Bad Times region, which weren't nearly as close as I expected but did feature our first (minor) upset.
#1 Rage Stripping: 2,802 (88%)
#8 Hat Antics: 373 (12%)
#4 Sheet Throw: 1,150 (44%)
#5 Rage On The Run: 1,491 (56%)
#3 WELL OKAY: 2,279 (86%)
#6 Plea To The Football Gods: 360 (14%)
#2 Slow-Motion Meltdown: 2,194 (79%)
#7 Intent To Deceive: 597 (21%)
And now, the Harbaugh In Action region, a loosely defined grouping of GIFs featuring Harbaugh doing... things. As always, click the stills to open each GIF in a lightbox.
HARBAUGH IN ACTION REGION
(1) Dr. Harbaugh vs. (8) Pre-Snap Adjustment
I'm never going to top my original caption for this so why try:
Dr. Harbaugh: "What seems to be the problem here?"
Patient: "It's my back, doc."
Dr. Harbaugh: "Oh, that's no problem at all. A little breeze through the ol' mine shaft will have you up in no time."
Patient: "I've made a huge mistake."
The belt-lift is, in fact, a time-tested method for getting a player's wind back, but that doesn't make the visual any less hilarious.
I'm sorry.
(4) Green Ass Smack vs. (5) Hype-Up Beating
There's so much going on here, culminating in Harbaugh licking his fingers and smacking his own ass.
Oh, just a casual beating to make sure the quarterback is sufficiently ready for football.
(3) Harbaugh's Huddle vs. (6) Ready To Play
While Harbaugh isn't doing anything particularly nuts here, I love the visual of him in the middle of a sea of winged helmets.
The khakis/cleats combo puts this one safetly into the field. You can't convince me Harbaugh wouldn't start for at least three Big Ten teams right now.
(2) Punt Demo vs. (7) What's The Call?
Yes, I put this GIF here so I could fit more tantrums into the Bad Times region. You're welcome.
Even though Harbaugh probably has good reason to stick his head into the huddle, I like to think it's just because he can't help himself.
Voting will remain open until the final region posts early next week.
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