OT: Girls youth soccer hilarity

Submitted by mad magician on
Ever wonder what would happen if one of the WLA guys decided to coach a girls youth soccer team? Well, now you can sleep at night. I became aware of this story from the soccer blog runofplay.com (check it out). So apparently there's this girls youth soccer coach in Massachusetts, and he sent out a preseason email to the parents of his 6-7 year old players. The coach revealed his plans and expectations for the upcoming season, and his email included the following gems: - Although officially Team 7 of the Scituate Soccer Club, the team will refer to itself as "Green Death" - On league officiating: "If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people." It should be noted that the league refs are 12-13 year old girls. - "I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners." In the last two paragraphs he actually gets a little serious and defines his broader outlook, and I can't say it's not at least slightly admirable. He wants the parents to pay attention and cheer, and for the girls to develop confidence and assertiveness. Anyway, this was obviously written tongue in cheek, but inevitably some parents disapproved and because of the attention it garnered the coach has decided to resign. Still, it's worth a read and I guarantee a laugh. http://www.patriotledger.com/sports/x575725578/-Green-Death-coach-resig…

ShockFX

April 1st, 2009 at 2:25 PM ^

"And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners." Green slushies are for losers.

Bleedin9Blue

April 1st, 2009 at 5:41 PM ^

I heard about this on PTI yesterday. My favorite quote that I've heard is: "We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull." I don't know whether I should shake his hand or punch his face for saying that (obviously due the Michael Vick part). I'm a big fan of dogs but right now I'm thinking shake his hand just because he made me laugh.