Create your own Michigan Football Season challenge
So... The news/trends recently is pointing ominously towards not having a football season. Officially, schools and conferences are still claiming that some form of a limited season will happen, which is better than nothing, but I would be surprised if it actually happens.
Instead of lamenting over a possibly lost season, let's take this opportunity to create a different story of the season... which can be different every time you read it!
"Choose Your Own Adventure" Michigan 2020 Football Season
An example:
"You are a day away from the season opener at Washington and you still have not settled on a starting quarterback. Do you:
A) Choose to roll with Dylan McCaffrey, who did reasonably well in limited action last season until suffering a broken collarbone? If you go with the "play it safe" move, go to page 27.
B) Choose to give Joe Milton a chance at the top job, though he wasn't on the field much last year and this is a tough road game? If you want to "roll the dice" with guy with the big arm, check out page 52.
C) Think that Cade MacNamarra has the raw talent to blow everyone else away, despite having never taken a college game snap? If you like locker room turmoil, we suggest looking at page 89.
D) Know in your heart that it is time to stop these childish games and get back to the real thing? If you are part of "Team Jim Harbaugh, starting quarterback" - then you are not alone! Tell the NCAA to piss off and come make you get off the field... afterwards turn to page 124.
(spoiler alert: Michigan still finishes 3rd in the Big Ten East for all choices)"
What other scenarios/decision points would you put in this story?
After a Washington punt, you have the ball at your own 31 with 1:38 left in the half down 10-6. Do you:
A) Try to kill the clock and head to halftime, go to page 52.
B) Try to run the clock down as far as possible and attempt a 50+ yard FG while hoping your unused timeouts will carry over, go to page 131.
C) Try to score a TD without really worrying about leaving time on the clock, go reread the question and start over, I know this is a fantasy but be for real.
Well, at least no season means no quarterback controversy.
#SilverLinings
"The Wolverines find themselves in an interesting position in November: they have thus far been able to run their conference slate without a loss, although a few games were near losses until the final minutes. They currently lead OSU in the division race by a game, with the Buckeyes losing a head scratching game to Penn State after James Franklin used all his timeouts to give on-field speeches.
Today, they host an IU team that has found some magic in returning QB Michael Penix and WR Whop Phylor. The lead has changed 8 times and Michigan is down 30-31 with 1:20 left in the game. Coach: your team is on the opponent's 38 yrd line and it is 4th and 2, your defense has looked a bit shaky all day, you might not get another offensive possession, you are currently on your 2nd string kicker (due to a fluke rules violation the previous night involving your kicker and a live chicken outside Scorekeepers), and you do NOT want to be the one to end the IU win streak. Do you:
A) Take the safe route - let the backup kicker take the shot, try to pin them deep on the kickoff and hope the defense does enough to keep them out of field goal range? If you want a "Lloyd Carr special", turn to page 37.
B) Line up in power formation and make them stop you... if your big guys can't get these 2 yards this team doesn't deserve the conference title. If you are channeling the spirit of Bo himself, gird your loins and turn to page 15.
C) Decide it's time to play some 4D chess. You line up for the FG, let the play clock wind down and call TO. You then line up in power, try to draw IU offsides, then call TO after they don't bite. You then line up in spread and put various people in motion, have the QB audible into various formations, then finally call TO again at the end of the play clock. Finally, you line up for the regular FG and follow the rest of choice "A". The next day you receive multiple fruit baskets and gift bags from the network for letting them get in 10 more minutes of commercials, but for now turn to page 83 to see what else happens.
D) You suddenly understand the true nature of the universe and that none of your decisions will matter in this game. This game WILL end in a Michigan win in some ridiculous fashion, leaving everyone confused and frustrated. You tell the starters to hit the showers, put in the 3rd string offense and tell them to "just have fun out there". Turn to page 101 to see how you can apply your newfound enlightenment."
I guess I’m not playing along but I just have one request: play MSU first! That way, should the season end early, as is seemingly inevitable, at least we’ll have gained that tally and not allowed Tucker to slip through without the rivalry in his first (almost certainly shambolic) year.
I think they're going to try to play.
"September nears its end and you have just guided the team to a home win over Wisconsin, avenging a poor showing on the road last season. However, your greatest challenge of the day remains: what to have for dinner. The day was relatively warm for late September, yet the evening is feeling crisp and cool - tempting for those inclined to an al fresco experience but with an implied danger of uncomfortable chills. You know, deep down, that the wrong decision here will put a damper on the rest of the season. Do you:
A) Decide to stay at home and have a nice family meal, maybe something easy to put on the grill such as hamburgers or chicken, hot dogs (for the kids), and maybe some veggies. If you feel like staying in and being domestic after a hard day, pick out your favorite apron (you've always had a soft spot for the one that says "Hail to the Chef") and turn to page 29.
B) Treat yourself to a nice meal out after a nice win at home. Throw a wad of cash at the kids, tell them not burn down the house, grab the wife and head to the nearest 4 star restaurant that'll let you in without making a reservation. As you check your pockets discretely for your roll of antacid tablets and mutter something about "too old for this sh*t", take a quick look at page 62.
C) Let the emotions and testosterone of the day wash over you. You are the victor, the last man standing. You defeated your opponent and now want to go in for the kill.... dinner always taste better when you throttle it yourself. As you reach into your closet for your homemade ghillie suit, a stick you sharpened on a recent family camping trip, and check Google to remind yourself what an actual badger looks like and where to find them, turn over to page 99.
D) Take the rest of the night for personal reflection. The family has seen this before and know not to say a word as you grab a shot glass, a gallon of whole milk from the fridge, and a $3 pair of dark sunglasses (that you picked up at a ZZ Top concert decades ago) and head down into the basement - not to reemerge until the next morning. No one knows exactly what you do all night down there, but you have your own "routine" and cannot stray from it. So before you go, turn to page 133."
It becomes obvious in late August that the "season" will last 2, maybe 3 weeks tops before the COVID cases spike on college campuses across the nation, and every student in America is sent home. OSU calls Warde with an intriguing offer: Michigan and OSU play their entire season against each other, in a home-home-neutral site series over three weeks. Do you:
A) Say no thanks, we'll play the Saturday after Thanksgiving as God intended. Turn to page 13 to see if the game happens (you're betting it won't).
B) Counter-offer: let's settle this on the PlayStation with a vintage copy of NCAA Football. Turn to page 69 to see who has the quickest thumbs.
C) Overturn tables and chairs to accept the offer when the Math and Stat Dept tells you your odds of winning one of the 3 games are excellent. Turn to page 42 to see if you get the monkey off your back before next season.
D) Totally go with the whole George Cstanza "opposite" vibe of 2020, and downgrade all varsity sports to Div 3 or club status. Roll a joint, and turn to page vii to see what the universe has in store. (Spoiler alert: Alabama will play zero games and be crowned national champion unanimously...by ESPN employees. CFU will play no games and claim a national championship based on their undefeated season. OSU will play 2 games against Akron and Cincinnati, win them both, and receive a letter of apology from the Cincinnati head coach because he didn't read the memo from the Ohio Secretary of State about ensuring the Buckeyes get two shutouts, and the Bearcats lose 64-7.)