omg so cute my head exploded

Previously: The Offense

Resources: My charting, UW game notes, UW roster, CFBStats, last year

For a quarter and a half I got to learn things about Wisconsin's resuscitated defense. Then USF and CMU discovered foot pedal trash cans.

Bro, come check this out
pic.twitter.com/uOpA4uI8zL

— Funny videos / cute videos (@BestVideosviral) September 17, 2019

USF is the one in green who at least recognizes it's funnier when his brother gets it.

I'm going to suppose, for the purposes of this post having any relevance, that Michigan's offense got this out of their system, that not ALL of our best players are going to be injured, and that we're not all living in some Ohio State kid's NCAA '07 dynasty, despite [gestures to all this]. I'm also going to suppose the Badgers defense can't maintain its preposterous 2.15 yards/play and 107.5 yards/game over its entire schedule.

Okay they can't maintain it against us though. Right?

The film: USF, which had dorfed more plays than they hadn't by the time I gave up charting them late in the 3rd quarter, because CMU's response to this was "Hold my beer."

Personnel: My diagram: 

PDF Version, full-size version (or click on the image)

[After THE JUMP: November 12, 1955]

After securing my copy of the Akron game, which somehow didn't instantaneously melt my hard drive, I solicited GIF requests on Twitter. A sampling of your responses:

There were also requests for kittens, corgis, Henrik Zetterberg, and a Men In Black-style memory erase. This quickly devolved into people sending me GIFs of adorable animals. I may have requested this, too.

Worst win ever? Worst win ever.

[After THE JUMP: actual football GIFs. Well, for the most part.]

Update 3/31: Linked to articles on SC RB Marcus Lattimore, MI QB Robert Bolden, TX LB Caleb Lavey, MN OL Seantrel Henderson, another on Henderson, MD RB Zach Zwinak, FL QB Stephen Morris.

Video of FL RB Corvin Lamb, NC DE Gabe King.

Added NJ OL Jake Kaufman, FL RB Roy Finch.

Removed GA WR Tai-ler Jones (dropped us). Added TX RB Tony Drake as committed. Linked to Drake article. Roundup article on DTs Florida is recruiting mentions Jonathan Hankins has a Gator(!) offer.

Editorial Opinion: A much more manageable set of items this week. The big news was Michigan picking up a commit from Dallas Skyline RB Tony Drake, which was covered earlier. With three senior RBs and transfers from McGuffie and Horn, Michigan will be in the market for probably three tailbacks this year. Drake is a smallish zone slasher; expect one angry moose type and a wildcard to round out the class.

He will battle the evil Mingovians

No words:

Munchie Legaux Names Leader

Munchie. Legaux.

Okay, words: Legaux is a dual-threat QB who's obviously from Louisiana; he's a member of the Rivals 250 and completed nearly 70% of his passes last year. Michigan is his first big offer and that article comes from Sam Webb. So, yeah, heuristics and all that: Michigan leads for a quarterback named Munchie Legaux.

Let's do this.

Hello, Seantrel

MN OL Seantrel Henderson is currently the nation's #1 recruit to both Scout and Rivals. He's a mountain in a helmet, and last week he visited Michigan. The trip went well:

Cretin-Derham Hall's 6-8, 300-pound junior offensive lineman Seantrel Henderson was especially impressed with an unofficial visit to Michigan the other day.

And this appears to be the barest outline of a leader for Henderson, albeit an undeclared one:

GH: Which schools do you like right now?
SH: I like all schools, I don’t have a top three or four — Ohio State, Michigan, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma, USC, Notre Dame and Minnesota — those are some of the ones I like.

GH: Do you plan on taking all of your five official visits this fall?
SH: Yes.

GH: Do you have schools that you definitely want to go see?
SH: Michigan, for sure.

Schwing! There's a long way to go with Henderson—when you're the #1 recruit you can wait until signing day, or, like, a month after.

A couple things that may affect Henderson's choice are the fate of his friend JD Pride, who Henderson would like to go to school with, and the ability to play basketball in college. Pride, a dual threat QB, has a Minnesota offer and visited Michigan with Henderson.

A foot in the door

It's supposed to be a poor crop of defensive tackles this year, so this is welcome news:

An absolute beast is Johnathan Hankins out of Southeastern High School in Detroit, Michigan.  He’s over 6-3 and 300, he dominates sort of like an ornery bear, a big one.  Alabama, Michigan, Michigan State are after him, Florida’s offered. 

A Florida offer for Hankins would be strange. IIRC Michigan is waiting on summer camp before deciding whether or not to issue an offer, and they've had plenty of opportunity to interact with Hankins. But the above-linked is part of Gator Country, the ESPN-affiliated Florida recruiting site, and is therefore likely to be accurate.

Despite the increased competition a Florida offer brings, I'd regard the above as extremely good news. Hankins has been rumored to be a Michigan fan and lean for a few months now, and if he's got the talent to reel in a Florida offer he's likely to pick one up from Michigan. Bonus: Hankins is a high school teammate of MI DE Will Gholston. Getting a commitment from him couldn't hurt in Gholston's recruitment.

Before: cute. Now: eh, not so cute.

An extensive Sam Webb article in the News on TX LB Caleb Lavey features this picture from the Lavey family archives:

Awww. Amazingly, Lavey comes up well short of the most adorable legacy-recruit-as-kid photo. Here's current Northwestern defensive back David Arnold, the son of former Wolverine Dave Arnold, a long time ago:

Those of you who managed to keep your brains from exploding should know that Lavey is now a 6'4" middle linebacker who racked up 200 tackles last year and has offers from Oklahoma, Penn State, Notre Dame, and others. He is no longer cute. This is good for his prospects.

Lavey hasn't come out and named a leader, but the unofficial visit and his dad's background have Michigan in good shape:

"I really like Coach Rodriguez," said Caleb. "He left me no doubt in my mind that he will be able to turn Michigan around. He's a great coach and a great guy. Me and my dad sat down and talked with him. We talked about the program and what his plans are. He has a great vision for Michigan and he'll be the coach that turns it around and turns it back into the national championship Michigan that it always has been."

Another trait that stood out was the vigor with which the players practiced. "It was just unbelievable how hyped up they were and how they were just getting after each other," Caleb reported. "It was great."

It still kills me a little that Arnold never got an offer; hopefully this one works out better.

Video of people and things

Rivals' move to Yahoo's video distribution system has been a godsend. Things are tagged and organized, they work cross-browser, and the free stuff is available for embedding. The old stuff was finicky—never worked in firefox for me—and way less functional. Yahoo FTW.

Anyway, embeds. This is FL RB Corvin Lamb, a teeny tiny jet engine from Miami Northwest:

Top five is a good place to be at that point; if there's a visit it'll get serious.

And while we're on video, please enjoy the most pointless content in the history of recruiting. It's highlight video of PA CB Cullen Christian's combine performance. Christian extends his arm! Is a certain height! Jumps! Continues jumping! Etc. The best part is that 1) this was evidently televised by Fox Sports, and 2) whoever did the televising thought his name was "Christian Cullen."

Etc.: M in SC RB Marcus Lattimore's top ten; MI QB Robert Bolden says he doesn't want to go "where they are recruiting two or three quarterbacks and have a bunch of guys already." The coming Gardner commit is probably the death knell for M's chances with Bolden.