Uconn Player stabbed by Joe Paterno while talking about "TP miscast as a QB"

Hi folks, I just wanted you to all know that a Uconn player was stabbed. And Joe Paterno could have come to Michigan. Also, how bout that piped in music? Finally, did you know Tom Brady threw for 5 TD's in a quarter? Wowzer. /s EDIT: All info in this post was related to the OP by 6 completely reliable players at or recently graduated from the University of Michigan football program.