The return of Random Questions (no longer a daily feature)
Now Martelli stood, football in hand. "Throw the ball!" screamed 100,000 people. The football turned to silly putty and melted to the ground. The angry band of rodents charged him nonetheless and gnawed on his eyes. They smelled like cupcakes. Martelli lay there--now 80,000 spectators booing and 20,000 former spectators silently walking away--contemplating these questions:
1) Convert one of these 2-pt attempts: Michigan vs OSU 2013 or Maryland vs OSU 2018?
2) What keeps you warmer at night: 2000 Orange Bowl or 2008 Capital One Bowl?
3) One shot to become an MGoModerator with banhammer abilities for life: Teske free throw or Quinn Nordin 38 yard FGA (on the right hash, dry conditions, no wind)?
4) More charming: Points no workie or front page posts about Ill Martelli?
5) Paul Bunyan: Parade him around the field and use him as a dress up doll or Stuff him in a broom closet like Crisler did?
My answers:
1) You should factor in that Maryland's attempt would end the game whereas Michigan was kicking off with 32 seconds left. I'll take the guaranteed trip to Indy and hope we beat Northwestern and forego a non-narrative changing (possible) win over OSU.
2) 2000 Orange Bowl
3) If you take straight percentages (whether you do career or last year) you have to pick Nordin. I felt worse about Nordin, but that's just because FGs in football are more critical than most FTs in basketball.
4) Front page posts (in small doses).
5) Broom closet days are over. Keep upping the ante on Paul.
1) I was all set to say Gardner's 2pt play against OSU because we desperately need some tick marks in that column....but you make a good point. I forgot that OSU pulling the Maryland game out of their ass had such a big impact on our season. I'll agree with Maryland.
2) 2000 Orange Bowl. The 2008 game was fun but revealed all that was frustrating about the last few years of Lloyd's tenure.
3) I'll take Teske.
4) I don't quite get this one....much like I didn't understand the Martelli post
5) There may come a day when we don't need to celebrate another win over MSU, but the decade of pain is still too fresh - rub it in.
1.) Maryland vs OSU 2018 because it was a guaranteed win with that conversion. Plus, that would have gotten Michigan into the B1G title gamer regardless of what they did against OSU the next week.
2.) 2000 Orange Bowl because when I think about the 2008 game, all that comes to mind is the impending doom of the Rich Rod era. The occasional camera cuts to Rich Rod on the sideline still make me cringe.
3.)With dry conditions and no wing? Give me Nordin EASY.
4.) I'm still recovering from that Martelli post from yesterday.
5.) Parade that awkwardly-sized trophy like it's the 4th of July. MSU fans have wanted us to care about the rivalry for so long...now it's time to make them regret that.
Faithful Mgofollowers reading front page content rn
I hope these can become a more daily thing.
1) Maryland vs. OSU 2018, by several country miles. Even if we'd beaten OSU in 2013, what would've really changed? Michigan still was what it was, and it wouldn't have changed how 2014 went down. If OSU loses to Maryland in 2018, we go to Indy, probably beat Northwestern, and at a minimum get the Rose Bowl. We get the Big Ten title monkey off our back, and while the OSU narrative doesn't change, Harbaugh at least has some hardware to show for his time here. The only reason to even consider 2013 as an option is solely for Devin Gardner's sake. His performance would've been remembered throughout all of college football, not just Michigan fandom, as one of the greatest individual performances of all time. He would've never had to pay for another meal in Ann Arbor for as long as he lived.
2) 2008 Capital One Bowl. Letting Carr ride off into the sunset and wiping that smug look off Meyer's face was a thing of beauty. Beating a cocky, overconfident Florida team that didn't take Michigan seriously, and burying Tebow into the ground over and over, fresh off a Heisman trophy no less. Doesn't get much sweeter than that. It didn't take away the pain that was the 2007 season, but it at least allowed it all to end on a high note. I could watch Adrian Arrington one-handed and behind the back catches over that vaunted Florida secondary all day. That game is probably what got him drafted.
3) Nordin, especially if we're talking about perfect kicking conditions. The entire Michigan basketball team, outside of Livers, has been a wild card on free throws lately.
4) I have no idea. Guess I don't get the question.
5) Whatever option pisses MSU fans and players off even more? I'd probably do both. Parade him around on the field so they have to watch, and then stuff it in a broom closet the rest of the year just so they know that no matter what happens, beating them will never be as important to Michigan as beating OSU. You want to piss an MSU fan off? Remind them that no matter what, they will always be second place.
Thanks for your loyal following! The responses have been too low to junk up the board daily, but I will likely post 1 or 2 times a week as the mood strikes. Keep an eye out.
1. Maryland for sure. Is there really much difference in being 2-98 against Ohio State over the last 100 years vs. being 1-99 against Ohio State over the last 100 years? Take the title.
2. Capital One Bowl. Michigan was supposed to get murdered and instead probably should have won something like 55-21.
3. Teske FT. Too much can go wrong on a field goal.
4. Why the hell don't points work?
5. Rub it in. Over and over again.
Definitely Maryland. Can you imagine Hoke being retained another year because he's .500 against OSU? Or, simply how annoying it would be to hear people talk about that in comparison to Harbaugh?
Otoh, Harbaugh would have a Big Ten championship, recruiting would presumably benefit, and it would shut down 99% of the talking from everyone other than OSU fans
Even though I also chose the Maryland game, I don't think we should all be so quick to assume that we would win the Big Ten. We struggled against Northwestern earlier in the year. I do believe we would have beaten them in Indianapolis...but I'm not 100% confident. This rematch would have followed the Indiana and OSU games where the "blueprint" of crossing routes was discovered.
A loss to Northwestern in our only trip to Indy--in a season in which we got blown out by OSU--would not be helpful for The Narrative.
I'm 100% confident that Northwestern's offense would be incapable of mimicking Indiana and Ohio State.
1) this is actually quite easy for me. It’s the Maryland one. If Gardner converts it’s awesome and we win, yes. However, consider that this also MAY extend Hokes tenure and we may never get Harbaugh. There was an implausible string of events that had to occur to get him here. It’s POSSIBLE that winning that and changes other events and we never get to Harbaugh. With the Maryland game, we are virtually a lock to get a conference championship
2) 2008 cap one...no particular reason.
3) easily Nordin
4) front page I guess
5) parade that shit around. Not even close.
1) Maryland over OSU. It would be nice to play OSU with the Big East title wrapped up and no pressure just to get the monkey off our back. I doubt that will happen again in the near future.
2) 2008. That was such a fun game to watch. Agree with above comment that it was painful to see us use all our offensive weapons so effectively in Lloyd's last game.
3) Teske free throw. If Nordin misses it's probably gonna be 30 yards left. At least teske will hit the rim, probably.
4) I didn't hate Brian's front page post as much as others. I didn't really get it, but it didn't bother me. Any sports content right now seems to be grasping at straws. Check out ESPN's front page. It's all meaningless dribble as opposed to mostly meaningless dribble.
5) Rub it in. Parade it around. Fuck State.
Michigan v OSU 2013 is interesting because obviously that would be one of the most fun football wins I've ever seen us have (became a fan around 2006), although with how defense was going that game there's no guarantee we actually win that in the end
I'd forgotten 2018 Maryland would've sent us to the B1G title game against Northwestern. Oof. We needed that one. It wouldn't change the OSU narrative, but a likely Big Ten title sure changes Harbaugh's and the program's perception which would undoubtedly help recruiting
- Mich 2013.
- 2008 capital one bowl
- Big Sleep
- Neither is charming
- Trophies are meant to be celebrated
1. Maryland over OSU and it's not even close.
2. 2000 Orange Bowl. Having Tom Brady go out on a high note just seems right, and this game just stick in Alabama fans' craw.
3. Nordin
4. I'd like for points to work again, so Martelli?
5. MSU wanted us to take the rivalry seriously; so we're taking it seriously. My guess is that they'll suddenly find our parading Paul Bunyan around the field in Maize pants distasteful. If it grates that they suddenly find themselves back in the corner, well I couldn't care less. Fuck them.
1. Maryland. Beating OSU in 2013 would have been amazing, but also would have perhaps extended the Hoke tenure. Also, with no B1G title to play for in 2018, OSU may have been somewhat less motivated.
2. 1998 Rose Bowl by a wide margin. Between the two you mention, I guess 2008. Lloyd carried off on a high, no #collegekickers needed to save the day. F Meyer and F Tebow.
1.) Take the 2 pt conversion in 2013. Gardner deserved that win.
Gardner absolutely did deserve a victory, but there's still no guarantee Michigan wins that game even if they convert. There was 30ish secs left on the clock, and while Miller wasn't great throwing downfield that day, he'd still hit on the deep ball at least once. And even if Michigan wins, what then? You really think Hoke would've somehow turned it around in 2014? I doubt it. I think the end result is the same, except maybe he gets held onto for another year with having a .500 record against OSU. And then no Harbaugh, and who the hell knows who you end up with for the 2016 season. The possibility that you get someone better is slim, but getting someone worse is very likely.
If Maryland converts in 2018, that is a guaranteed trip to Indy for Michigan. Regardless of what happened in Columbus the following week. Michigan may have even been able to go into the OSU game more relaxed, and then who knows how that game turns out. Probably still lose, but I doubt its as lopsided. They would've beaten Northwestern again, and at the very least, won the Big Ten and gone to the Rose Bowl, where they likely would've beaten Washington as well. Harbaugh has some hardware to show off to recruits, and while the narrative around Michigan isn't what it would've been had it won in 2016, its nowhere near as negative as it is now.
1) Neither, both are in the past... answer = Michigan needs to GIT GOOD!
2) Neither, both are in the past... we celebrated, now it's time to move on and... GIT GOOD!
3) Neither, both are in the past... let it go, GIT GOOD! (see where I'm going with this?)
4) Points no workie - Points are a celebration of childhood popularity contests, they invite subjective comments and behavior from asshats who think their shit don't stink; to them I say "I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION"
5) I really don't care... as long as we keep it. Hell, store above a urinal for all I care; just win the game
n/m
But I will add, participation was not mandatory.