OT - a Boy and his Wolverines (for the year at least)

Submitted by WhatchooTalkin… on November 29th, 2022 at 5:10 PM

Thought I'd share since previous family-type posts went over well.

Our house is basically divided down the middle with half OSU and Half UM fans with the exception of our youngest son we nicknamed "Bean".

He is an amazing kid who is also autistic - and who literally doesn't care who wins as long as football is on and everyone has fun! (He's gotten weirdly obsessed about football lately! Yay!)

My wife and I agreed when he was born that he would be our tiebreaker and reward for winning "The Game" 

So we "trade" Bean each year and he is a "fan" of whichever team wins for that ENTIRE year. (#GoBlue)

I didn't take advantage of this much last year after UM's win (probably because it didn't HAPPEN very often in the recent past! Lol).

But today the memory on the left showed up on Facebook and I couldn't help trying to sort of recreate the moment.  A lot has changed from the preemie on the left and the 7-year old on the right.

You might have noticed a few things: (1) he's not awake in pic 2 (duh lol), (2) he's GROWN a bit since the last time I got a pic of him repping UM. He's not getting in a baby car seat no matter how much he tells me it will still fit! (It's a real thing).

Honestly don't really care whom he roots for as long as he stays my little football buddy forever.

#LFG

#Big10Champions

HighBeta

November 29th, 2022 at 5:47 PM ^

Hi. Cute kid!

Do you have any sense yet for his "functioning level"? Has he developed any specific skills or passions about/around which he shows an unusual interest? Life for you and his Mom is going to be interesting as he matures and you age.

Joined: 10/20/2019

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WhatchooTalkin…

November 29th, 2022 at 8:08 PM ^

He is quite literally "Rain Man" in many ways.

 

He is a 2nd grader and is doing 5th and 6th grade math - not uncommon for those on the autism spectrum.  He is amazing at math, but social skills evade him in many ways which is tough.

He's only 7 so the "typical peers" (as they call normies) kinda can tell he's different but sort of accept him as he is.  I am scared to death what will happen as he gets older and his differences become more pronounced..

Joined: 04/14/2022

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HighBeta

November 29th, 2022 at 8:44 PM ^

Yes, I understand, from personal experience, obviously. He sounds "high functioning", which is, to be honest, a much needed attribute and something you and your wife can work with and help develop into a "functional and happy (or at least contented) independence". Many high functioning spectrum people can become quite successful but they will always struggle socially. Again, this is from decades of experience.

He may be able to memorize enough "normie behaviors, expressions, etc." (there are thousands) to integrate well, but he will be exposed to some intentionally cruel social situations, especially as a teen and young adult - and you two will need to be his safe and understanding duo to get him through those very hard times.

Steel yourselves for the insensitivities that are coming and please accept my heartfelt best wishes for your and his success. When he finally launches with your help and guidance, you will know that you have accomplished something both difficult and beautiful.

Joined: 10/20/2019

MGoPoints: 15717

WhatchooTalkin…

November 29th, 2022 at 9:06 PM ^

Thanks Beta.

I can certainly understand and sort of (sadly) expect much of what you shared.

We experience little things here and there...like I took him to a public pool for the first time this summer. 

He was fine and playing with everyone around until 1 particular kid backed away and I could clearly hear him ask his mom: "what is WRONG with him?"

I couldn't hear his mother's reply but she kept him away from my son the entire time we were at the pool.

I wanted to yell: he has AUTISM!  Not thr mf plague!"

I KNOW it will get harder - and I hope he will be oblivious to the hatred, misunderstanding, and discrimination as long as possible.

Joined: 04/14/2022

MGoPoints: 2433

jballen4eva

November 30th, 2022 at 12:49 PM ^

Do you know if a chapter of the Center for Autism and Related Disorders ("CARD") is near where you live?  My son - currently 15 - is on the spectrum - high functioning and verbal, but definitely "different" - and attended CARD after school for several years.  CARD did a fantastic job of helping my son develop his communication and social skills, coping mechanisms for emotional control, and other good stuff.

And I was TERRIFIED about what my son's experience in middle school would be, but he wound up doing pretty well.  If nothing else, I think schools have generally come a long way in acknowledging and addressing this issue.  It also might have helped that my son's best friend was over 6' tall by the seventh grade.     

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