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Martha Stewart officially destroys tailgating
October 26th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
#902
You've never actually had sex with a woman
October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
#903
I'm not sure
My wife might have a different opinion than I do.
I suppose I should specify that not ALL women officially ruin tailgates. Just some.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
#904
Opinion to which part
Opinion to which part of that statement? That you had sex or were with a woman? /s
October 26th, 2012 at 9:30 PM
#905
No sex with
a woman? Yikes
October 27th, 2012 at 2:56 AM
#906
Let me be the first to congratulate you, Blaze!
This thread has spawned my creation, thanks!
From now on, my creator will deploy this account to track posts and/or comments that make statements which are distasteful and/or alienate members of the MGoCommunity on the basis of race, sex, gender, orientation, nationality, veteran status and disability. Offending posts will be noted, suggestions to improve discourse will be offered, and points will be tallied by username in two categories: the Creeper Cone of Shame and the Upstanding Citizen's Cup. The Cone will be bestowed biannually to the poster with the most offenses, and the Cup will be given to the user with most positive contributions to making all feel welcome.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
#907
You are so getting coal for
You are so getting coal for Christmas.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
#908
Worst joke ever.
Worst joke ever.
Edit: Apparently I needed to be a bit more clear. In context, the above statement was quite comical. It's just that "coal" jokes are all too prevalent in my life. If you are confused, please refer to my username. If confusion STILL arises, Cole... coal... ha.... Why am I posting this? I do not know. Joke = funny. Moving along.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
#909
do you feel better now?
do you feel better now?
October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
#910
You are justified in your
You are justified in your frustration
October 26th, 2012 at 9:34 PM
#911
Blue ball
is a real drag.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
#912
well
October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
#913
Someone should make an NHL
Someone should make an NHL version of this captioned "In Before the Lockout"
October 26th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
#914
Should have gone to
Buffalo Wild Wings
October 26th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
#915
I logged in just to upvote
I logged in just to upvote this. I guarantee this is going to be the best post on this thread.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:36 PM
#916
yes
it is.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
#917
First of all,
tailgating is a whole different game down south.
Second, as a woman, I am offended.
Third, I think with much work, we could find you a nice woman, Blazefire. Don't give up hope.
Also, as an English major, I commend your use of "prattling". Good one.
edit: I see you have a wife. We can set up a support group for her. at a tailgate. with fine china.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
#918
Clarification request
"Second, as a woman, I am offended."
But as a Michigan fan, you whole heartedly agree with meand will adopt the spirit of the season? Or... no?
Just to note, I am married to an awesome woman. Article made me laugh at how on point it was to my life, though.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
#919
Maybe I will agree....
a fancy tailgate with "activities" would creep me out. But I do enjoy a large supply of different appetizers (may or may not be from PInterest), a main dish (can be hot dogs) and some great desserts. No activities or fine China! And no warm beer! cold beer, whiskey sours, and maybe Bloody Mary's for a noon game. I pass on the Wine for a tailgate. Sangria is OK.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
#920
The bloody mary is the most
The bloody mary is the most criminally overlooked beverage in existence. Most people seem to love them, yet they rarely order them. Whenever I'm in Vegas I'm usually ordering them and I couldn't count the number of people near me who always say, "Wow, that sounds really good. I'll have one too!" It's a unisex drink too which improves its utility at a party.
+1 to you for realizing its usefulness at a tailgate.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
#921
you gotta
try the Bloody Caeser's they serve poolside at the Bellagio.
Otherworldly.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
#922
Bloody Caesar's at Bellagio?
I am currently in the area for work and am intrigued by this...but just for the sake of saying it wouldn't a Bloody Caesar be more of a Caesar's Palace kind of drink?
October 26th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
#923
Bloody Caesars
Canada's contribution to cocktails, and damn, they're good.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:37 PM
#924
great to
see our neighbors to the north get a plug
October 26th, 2012 at 5:46 PM
#925
I'm fine with my manhood
And i have a bloody mary recipe that I thought I'd share, passed down from my late stepfather, a UM B-School grad. This is a relatively mild spice load so you may add more to suit your taste, but follow the basic ingredients.
1 half-gallon jug of Clamato Juice
1 teaspoon tabasco
2 teaspoons lemon juice
3 teaspoons worcester
2 teaspoons horseradish (not the creamy kind)
After you mix the jug, you can pour some off and replace with vodka, so it's all ready to go.
Serve over ice of course, and top it off with a splash of beer. it adds a nice bit of effervescence and cuts the viscousness of the tomato juice.
October 27th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
#926
Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to
Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to a T?
October 26th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
#927
I don't know if you got the handbook
But now that you're married, you can just tell her to go to hell if she bothers you when you're trying to watch football.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
#928
RIght, because that
RIght, because that wouldn't end up killing your changes to enjoy the rest of this football season and probably the next three as well . . .
October 26th, 2012 at 8:42 PM
#929
Well, not really
I mean, are you married? It turns out that, by the time somebody likes you enough to marry you, she will put up with being told to go to hell during football games every once in a while. I was a little surprised, too, but it works. Just don't let anybody put anything about paying attention to anyone during fall Saturdays into your vows and you're good.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:05 PM
#930
Well, huh...
I must have forgotten to attach that rider to my marriage license. Or my wife didn't tell me about it. Likely the latter.
October 27th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
#931
She's just being sneaky. It
She's just being sneaky. It took 25 years for my wife to finally realize that no matter how hard she tries, she's never going to mold me into the imaginary man she wishes she'd married.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
#932
I'll bring the salmon
I'll bring the salmon rillettes and make some themed cocktails.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
#933
I was going to rant
I was going to rant about "wtf is a rillette, GTFO" and then I googled:
"Rillettes is a preparation of meat similar to pâté. Originally made with pork, the
meat is cubed or chopped, salted heavily and cooked slowly in fat until it is tender "
and, YES PLEASE
October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
#934
Sigh
I suppose I have only myself to blame.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:38 PM
#935
yes sir
you do. but I will give you a +1 anyway.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
#936
In what sense is tailgaiting
In what sense is tailgaiting a whole different bowl of boiled peanuts?
Haha, my GF is from Georgia, and I've been to many a southern tailgate. Food is awesome, but I'm curious what you're pointing to specifically.
I will say this, girls in the south can actually sit and watch a football game (thank God, my gf is so understanding of my CFB addiction.)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
#937
I will say this, girls in the
I will say this, girls in the south are just better generally.
/shots fired
//War of Northern Aggression Round 2
October 26th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
#938
I hear the women in the south...
I hear Southern women dress up for tailgating? No? Although I did buy myself a cute pair of maize cords yesterday.........Oh, God, someone help me!!!!
October 26th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
#939
ya! Sundresses for the
ya! Sundresses for the games... pledges (and most guys) where suits. It's a big deal. Wearing Jerseys are frowned upon.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
#940
They have an unfair advatage
They have an unfair advantage over us and that is- weather! 90 degrees every Saturday down south....perfect for Sundresses. Sorry for the guys that have to wear suits, though.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
#941
I live in San Diego
And no way in hell am I wearing a dress...shorts and flip flops for football, and most everything (non work) else.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:39 PM
#942
touche
to you
October 26th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
#943
Correction
An oxford, a blazer, and a tie does not a suit make.
October 26th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
#944
I know what 1 out of those 3
I know what 1 out of those 3 things is. I'm a bloody savage, aren't I?
October 26th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
#947
Where?
Where?
October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
#948
I'd like to add
I'd like to add "throwing a football" and "finding somewhere to pee between cars" to the list of acceptable tailgate activities.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
#949
I support this ammendment.
I support this ammendment.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
#950
The latter is both acceptable
The latter is both acceptable and necessary in order to maximize one's enjoyment at a tailgate
October 26th, 2012 at 9:41 PM
#951
yes
it does.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
#952
Also drinking games. If that
Also drinking games. If that isn't covered by drinking
October 26th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
#953
Awkward
October 26th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
#954
Generally, i think the whole
Generally, i think the whole snide comment picture thing is played out... but this is down right hilarious. Thanks for giving me hope.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
#955
(No subject)
October 26th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
#956
Can't you just be thankful
Can't you just be thankful that you are at a tailgate... which also implies you should be thankful that you are going to a game?
To be so lucky!
October 26th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
#957
There Is One Thing...
One of the comments in the replies to the story included something that I can definitely imagine at Southern Tailgates...
"100-300 arguments ensue over ACC quality. GF argues that Duke's WR's could 'torch' WVA's dbacks. Since she went to Alabama she will of course know their names and hometowns."
Actually, the whole comment thread for the article is pretty funny.
October 26th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
#958
XENOPHOBIA & CULTURAL IMPERIALISM
I went to college in the South. I wore a dress to every tailgate. Only a complete brute of a man would show up to a tailgate without coat and tie.
That scenario probably has Big Ten folk aghast, but on the plus side there was often very good bourbon available.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
#959
What has me aghast is the
What has me aghast is the implication that you have to dress up to drink good bourbon.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
#960
Fixed it for you
What has me aghast is the implication that you have to dress up be dressed to drink good bourbon.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
#961
<--- Big big fan of scotch
<--- Big big fan of scotch whisky, have yet to find a bourbon that I really enjoy...
Looking for reccomendations to better acquaint myself with the joys of bourbon. Any suggestions?
Thanks.
October 26th, 2012 at 6:58 PM
#962
my favorite
of the widely available ones, I always enjoy Woodford Reserve (always neat). The current rise in micro distilleries keeps things interesting, too. Happy hunting.
October 26th, 2012 at 7:25 PM
#963
Two words...
Mint Julep Jelly Shots (yeah, you can't count after a few of them)
October 26th, 2012 at 8:12 PM
#964
Love Scotch whisky
The Macallan 18 is my favorite spirit of all time. I like Bourbon, too, and Irish whiskey for good measure. I'll take just about any barrel-aged, distilled spirit from grains. The flavors of vanilla, oak and caramel are always high on my list.
Went on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail just this week, in fact. Stopped at Four Roses and tried their three whiskeys sold here in the U.S. (yellow label, small batch and single barrel). I was fairly impressed.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:45 PM
#965
Dalmore 18
is my favorite scotch. It is distilled in the Highlands in Tain.
October 27th, 2012 at 8:04 AM
#966
I like Buffalo Trace, smooth
I like Buffalo Trace, smooth and really good for the price, no so damn 'spensive.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
#967
What in the
name of Barney Stinson is wrong with dressing up to drink?
October 26th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
#968
No restrictions on clothing
I encourage proper dress, in fact. After all, one does not want to be mistaken for a slovenly hobo while drinking outdoors.
Just don't ask me why it's so important that I get the signal in for the noon games when we're going to a live game at 3:30. And more importantly, don't glare at me when you're trying to chat me up about new landscaping ideas and I respond with a grunt and a comment on WVU's defense.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
#969
I've been to a Clemson game
I've been to a Clemson game in September. If you think its anywhere close to being fair that girls can wear airy dresses while guys have to wear a stiffling coat and tie then you've got another thing coming. The girls in the South are outstanding but the guys are clearly all idiots.
#carpetbaggers
October 26th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
#970
I'd rather be kicking it in
I'd rather be kicking it in the the above picture than the below picture.
The above picture looks sensual.
The below picture looks boring.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
#971
For me... so long as it's
For me... so long as it's tasty and I don't have to do any work other than lifting it to my mouth, that's perfect tailgate food.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
#972
"Southern Tailgater"
Capitalizing it makes it sound like an unwholesome sexual act. NTTAWWT.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:46 PM
#973
Or the name of a real good porno
I would direct it.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:14 PM
#974
Other than the activities...
I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this. Once you get past "mandatory" flag football or Bacci ball (oh, and I'll concede the decorations sound terrible), you have:
- Cheese quesadillas (with guacamole and sour cream)
- Veggie platters with dip
- Chips and salsa
- Make-your-own-fajita station
- Hot chocolate
That doesn't sound terrible to me. The food is pretty much in line with what I would expect to see at a backyard family tailgate, although none of my drinks of choice are represented. Maybe I'd prefer some more barbeque, but if the alternative is fajitas you won't hear any complaining from me.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
#975
Man card
Please return yours.
/kidding
/not_really
October 26th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
#976
I mean...
If I'm at the game I'd rather be eating brats and burgers (actually I'd rather be eating some kind of pork, but whatever), but I'm not sure how fajitas and quesadillas suddenly got less manly because it's a fall Saturday. Also, if you don't like chips and salsa or some vegetables and ranch...I don't even know, man.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
#977
I was with you...
Right up until "make your own fajita station." At that point, I had visions of white coated waitstaff, and little finger foods, and china. Also, stemware. Also, nothing called "crudite" should ever be allowed at a tailgate. Sure, I get that they're cut up veggies, but still...
October 26th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
#978
Gotcha.
When I say "make-your-own-fajita station" what that usually means for me is putting the crockpot full of venison steak, onions and peppers on the counter with tortillas, a bag of shredded cheese, a tub of sour cream and some different hot sauces out on my kitchen island.
And you now have me thinking about a make your own fajita station tonight, dammit.
October 26th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
#979
I'm not so sure what's wrong
I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this.
I'll tell you what's wrong. Nowhere does it mention beer or any actual watching of football. This is what happens when you mix the Martha-Stewart-esque desire to have phony perfection in everything you do, with the same attitude responsible for the creation of "woman-caves." The people who try this sort of thing with the expectation that it'll actually work are the same people who were the only ones not having having fun at their wedding (despite being the bride) because shit didn't go down exactly has planned.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
#980
None of it matters to me
I have no use for tailgaiting (not that I make it to games much). I don't like to eat before games because I'm always a little sick to my stomach during them, and I don't like being distracted by anything a good hour before kickoff (and then during the game, of course). The team needs my total focus.*
*That's crazy? No, you are crazy, and I'll thank you stop projecting your voice into my head.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
#981
All "activities" at my
All "activities" at my tailgates revolve around Jameson.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
#982
See?
Like I said. Not ALL women are responsible for the destruction of tailgates. Some just for the destruction of livers.
Which is wholly encouraged.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
#983
Livers, dignity, furniture,
Livers, dignity, furniture, clothing, etc etc etc. =)
October 26th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
#984
thought that said "Future"
thought that said "Future" and not furniture.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
#985
*Future
Future also.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
#986
Some say "future," some say
Some say "future," some say "life as we know it." Either way, same result.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
#987
That too.
But whatevz. What happens in Ann Arbor stays in Ann Arbor. =)
October 26th, 2012 at 1:25 PM
#988
WHATS A QUESADILLA? ROLL TIDE
WHATS A QUESADILLA? ROLL TIDE
October 26th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
#989
I think it's a marvelous idea
I think it's a marvelous idea to decorate the tailgate table with "fall colors." Because that's what people like! I also like to "line my veggie bowls" with lettuce, because again, that's what people fucking kill for. And what a wonderful idea to serve grilled cheese quesadillas, which of course are a staple at all pre-game festivities! This is precious! I can't wait to play Baci Saturday all goddamn day before the Michigan game! I'm going to kill everyone at Baci!!! In other words, THANK YOU MARTHA!!
October 26th, 2012 at 1:30 PM
#990
Winner!
Guy who had his last football Saturday ruined by a group of women who complained he wasn't "participating". I had my beer and my eyes on the TV. That is how you participate in a damned tailgate! Not by doing the friggin christmas name-draw!
You win the internet today - LOL.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
#991
Martha Stewart is from
Martha Stewart is from Westport, CT and this article is in the Wesport Patch. I'm assuming that's the connection that the OP was making.
As for the artcile, I've been enjoying it and the comments all week since Jason Kirk tweeted about it on Monday. I went to college in the town next to Wesport and this type of party would be very typical for the residents of Connecticut's "Gold Coast". As others have noted, it doesn't sound like a bad party, just not a good tailgate. Also, in my opinion you can't have a tailgate at your house. That would be considered a BBQ. Without a car there is no tailgate.
October 27th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
#992
To be fair,
To be fair, this is probably a bit unfair to the actual Martha Stewart -- she would do a better job than this. For one, like the OP, she'd recognize that the decor (and attire) should be about fandom -- I'm not quite sure what tasteful fandom looks like, but I'm sure she would be happy to show me. I think it might involve pennants. Second, I'd hope she'd recognize that to be a "tailgater," you'd have to hold it in your driveway, not in the backyard.
October 27th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
#993
Well, to be fair
Martha would probably expect the guests not to wear the jerseys and bright colors of their teams, but rather "tea stain" white t-shirts to "celebrate the colors of autumn."
And if you want to know how I know what "tea staining" is, here's a clue: Michael's is my wife and daughter's favorite store on earth.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
#994
Well, radierblue,
Poor Blazefire originally titled this thread "women destroy tailgating" and then very quickly realized that was not the most perfect title in the world and changed it to Martha Stewart.
Sometimes I feel all threads should have a 12 hour wait period before being posted...
October 26th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
#995
This has nothing to do with
This has nothing to do with treating women like objects. He said they destroy tailgates, which requires agency. How can you treat something like an object while simultaneously affirming its agency? Not all instances of misogyny are instances of treating women like objects.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
#996
Sorry, I missed the
Sorry, I missed the reference. The forthcoming downvotes are well deserved.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
#997
You work too hard, raiderblue!
5 minutes of work is outrageous. I've got it made being a stay at home mom. My job improved dramatically once the third child headed off to Kindergarten. Sadly, now I have just discovered how lazy I actually am.
The 12 hour waiting period I was referring to was for poorly titled threads, not your response. I can imagine sometimes people start a thread and then ten minutes later they think,"D'oh!".
October 26th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
#998
WHOA!!! I just bookmarked
WHOA!!! I just bookmarked this thread so I can show my wife the next time she yells about how I've got it easy going to work everyday instead of staying at home with the kids. (Of course, our two are younger than kindergarten age so I assume I'll lose the argument again. Dammit.)
October 26th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
#999
Sorry, profitgoblue, you still have it easy...
Two at home means she still can't go to the bathroom alone.....It's a whole different ballgame!
October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
#1000
That is EXACTLY what she
That is EXACTLY what she tells me. Can't go to the bathroom, can't eat, and can't shower. I guess that explains why she stinks . . . Hahaha.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
#1001
LOL
could you imagine a recruiting thread being relevant after the 12 hour wait period? Hell, kid could commit and de-commit by then.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
#1002
This is nothing less than one of the unintended consequences of
the 19th Amendment.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
#1003
So, you're saying...
October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
#1004
I got away with one, I'm not saying anything
else. I especially did not laugh out loud when I watched that.
October 26th, 2012 at 6:21 PM
#1005
Was that video a response to
Was that video a response to not getting any in high school?
Edit: Now that I think about it, if he had been smarter, he would have known that making girls look stupid is no way to endear himself to dumb girls and smart girls alike. So while trying to make himself look smart by making girls look dumb, he missed the opportunity that other, nicer boys who, instead of spending time making girls look dumb, were spending time getting laid. Make sense?
October 26th, 2012 at 6:35 PM
#1006
No, because jerks have
No, because jerks have exponentially better chances at getting laid. A friend of mine actually turned that into an experiment. All I'll say is that the hypothesis had remarkable predictive ability and that he's dedicated the past year and a half to expanding his sample size.
October 26th, 2012 at 7:19 PM
#1007
He must be sampling from the
He must be sampling from the girls with low self-esteem group. My experience, and the experience of my friends, proves different.
October 26th, 2012 at 10:28 PM
#1008
No offense, but no. You may
No offense, but no. You may gravitate toward nice guys, and think that therefore men should find it easier to get girls by being nice, but it doesn't work that way. Being nice has landed me, and by and large most of my friends, in second place, every single time. No girl or woman I've ever wanted to sleep with, date, marry, or otherwise be in some kind of relationship with has ever responded positively to coming on nice. They think they do, but they don't. Getting wasted and slapping on a nametag with my pornstar name on it, however? Go figure.
October 26th, 2012 at 11:41 PM
#1009
You know how men say they
You know how men say they don't understand women? They're right. You're mistaking confidence and surehandedness for dickishness. I guess there are women out there who mistake those two things as well. But the female fantasy isn't to sleep with an asshole. The female fantasy is to be with a guy who isn't a metrosexual pussy but a caveman who will throw you down but then offer to do your laundry, a guy who will be genuinely kind to some homeless person on the street, one who will talk to your mother on the phone in a really endearing way even when he doesn't want to. Seriously, when you figure out that we want a good dose of testerone laced with good guy kindness, the oyster will open up for you.
I noticed you were upvoted to the max. Probably all by guys.
Edit: And I say this respectfully and with the intention of helping you (plural - all guys).
And I also agree with the premise of this thread, re: Martha Stewart. She's ruined a lot of things, but I do love the fact that she spent time in the clink.
October 27th, 2012 at 1:46 AM
#1010
I would like to hang out
You nailed it. Exactly.
October 27th, 2012 at 2:45 AM
#1011
I was going to leave this
I was going to leave this alone because honestly it's not that important, but something about this post annoys me. Not sure what it is though, it's a pretty benign post.
She's not right, at all. Women's motivations and desires are irrelevant (to this discussion, not in general). We were discussing the most successful strategy for getting women to sleep with you, not how they feel about it. In terms of pure, dispassionate numbers, the jerk wins nearly every time (all else being equal). If you want to argue that this isn't the most fulfilling path for either party, perhaps you have a point. That wasn't what we were talking about though. Being a jerk works. It just does, I'm sorry. Even if it IS just women mistaking jerk for confidence, it still works and that's what matters for the discussion.
Also, I believe her when she says she offered her "advice" respectfully. Still was super annoying though becuase in doing so she framed things as her educating the poor clueless brutes, when in reality she was arguing a straw man.
/Rant. I need to go to bed and stop posting here after drinking. This was super off topic for this blog. So, uh.. Go Blue?
October 27th, 2012 at 8:07 AM
#1012
I'm sorry if I sounded like I
I'm sorry if I sounded like I know it all. I actually come here to MGoBlog to talk football, not male female dynamics. But when they do come up, and they did even before the video was posted (which is what prompted this whole thing), there's always guys who talk about women like we're all the same. Not all guys do this, but there are always some. And that's super annoying. I see your point, in the whole idea that women like bad boys, but there's more to it. It is nuanced.
And yes, Go Blue!
October 27th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
#1013
It is nuanced, yes. The
It is nuanced, yes. The problem is this: Guys do not pick up on nuance very well. At all. We understand "yes" and "no." (Some don't understand "no" but we're talking about normal guys here, not rapists.) Women have the right to be annoyed that men don't "get them" and talk about women as if they're all the same. But if you're gonna do that, please allow men a little frustration with the attitude that guys don't get women, combined with the simultaneous expectation for us to pick up on all that nuance. Rather than letting it come down to which approach is best for talking to/meeting/sleeping with girls, guys really, really do appreciate it when women are clear about how they feel BEFORE it comes down to trying to decide whether to be a jerk or be nice.
Also, to stay more on topic, please stop appropriating guy things and putting doilies on them kthxbai. The reason this thread exists is because guys honestly can't fathom the workings of a brain that wants to do this. We don't say to each other, "you know what would be awesome? a baby shower, but with beer!"
Also also Go Blue.
October 27th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
#1014
I don't get the doily thing,
I don't get the doily thing, either. And as far as saying men don't get us, I'm only responding to this thread, which is essentially...."why do women have to be like this?" I agree that men and women are really different. I'm a former advertising copywriter and I used to write McDonald's commercials. I once wrote a spot where a guy is at McDonald's and calls his girlfriend to see if she wants anything. She tells him, "You know what I like." And he freaks because all he thinks about is baseball statistics. He has no idea what she likes (or thinks, or feels). It was totally based on my huband and it was done tongue in cheek (and in the spot, he ends up ordering the entire Dollar Menu and offering each item up to her to see which one she grabs). So yeah, I get that men are simpler. I get frustrated with women, too.
October 28th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
#1015
I see both points. In HS and
I see both points. In HS and in early college the jerks won out. But, like you suggest, you learn to not really focus on being a jerk, but you learn to play the game like you've got "nothing to lose" so to speak. Not to say you don't "care" about the girl, but you just be confident, funny, and don't give her your undivided attention (aka don't sweat her), and things typically work out.
At least that's my approach.
October 27th, 2012 at 3:34 AM
#1016
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point
Rationale: "Nice Guy Syndrome" asserted as universal fact. Belittles womens' judgment {see: "They think they do, but they don't."}
Suggestion: Refrain from projecting personal experiences on people as a whole.
October 27th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
#1017
Trolling Standing -4
Congratulations, four posts in and you're already my least favorite poster on the site.
Suggestion: lighten up. Or go away.
October 27th, 2012 at 3:12 AM
#1018
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point
Rationale: Pseudoscience {see term: "exponentially better chances at getting laid"} driven by anecdotal experience with stereotypical Pick-Up Arist {PUA} mentality {see "expanding his sample size."}
Suggestion: Do not state as fact that which is opinion, and degrading to women on the assertion that they are as a whole more likely to sleep with a "jerk." It is best to treat people as the individuals that they are, rather than predictable as a result of one defining characteristic such as gender.
October 27th, 2012 at 3:26 AM
#1019
I see where you're coming from, but
The language reflected a poor attempt at humor/ expanding on a metaphor rather than a genuine Pick-Up Artist mentality. Your point is received though, and it is a legitimate one. My language was... regrettable. Come on though, people are predictable for a whole host of reasons. And I disagree that the observation that women are more likely to sleep with jerks is degrading to women because I didn't go on to speculate why I thought that was. Actually, I DO agree that it's because it's sometimes easy to mistake for confidence, and I think that people of all genders are generally pretty bad at making decisions that will make them most happy in life.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:50 PM
#1020
good point
here
October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
#1021
If you plan a wedding for a
If you plan a wedding for a late summer/early fall Saturday I will I will hunt you down. I will find you. And I will kill you.
Most likely I will just see you at the wedding complain and punch you in the balls a few times.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:57 PM
#1022
I got married
in October, but it was an away game with a noon start and the wedding was at 4:30. And it was Indiana. So no harm done.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
#1023
Good on you, but I would
Good on you, but I would still show up drunk. There is a 90% chance i would show up drunk regardless though. Saturdays are for day drinking. I don't have a drinking problem, I have a shitty life solution.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
#1024
So what happens when its
So what happens when its anniversary time and it's Michigan versus Sparty? Fall weddings are FAIL.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
#1025
I guess I'm not the average wife? not into anniversaries...
I love my team. We go to see the game. No questions asked.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
#1026
<3
<3
October 26th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
#1027
My buddy
is a Notre Dame fan and he got married on the day of UTL. I went to the game, then gave him a bunch of shit about it later.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:52 PM
#1028
good game
to give him shit about too.
October 26th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
#1029
I'm with Martha,
unofficially, of course.
EDIT: she does kinda lose sight of where the "tailgate" in tailgate comes from, but I forgive her. Anyone who wants to enliven your football festivities rather than tell you you are exposing your eight-year-old daughter to violence (aherm) is headed in the right direction.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:32 PM
#1030
Chairs?
Weak
October 26th, 2012 at 2:03 PM
#1031
I just want beer and
Food.. A canopy is nice if its raining. If i feel like getting fancy, I'll make pitchers of beer margaritas or bloody Marys.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
#1032
Someone needs to find a scan
Someone needs to find a scan of the brochure Don Canham sent out all over the state in 1969 pitching Michigan season tickets, because if memory serves, it features pictures that are essentially that era's version of Martha Stewart Living. Canham wanted the women to buy in, and in order to do that, he needed to pitch the fancy tailgate and family fun angle so the husband could go to his football game.
Yes, you read that correctly. What you know and love as the Michigan football 100k every game, tailgating extravaganza was built on a pitch to women and a full slate of domestic activities (including a football game) on a Saturday afternoon.
October 26th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
#1033
So
we need a "Don Canham destroys the past" tag on this blog then is what you're saying?
October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
#1034
Different conferences, different traditions
My first tailgate in college (New England, Ivy) consisted of hors d'oeuvres, hamburgers, cloth napkins, sparkling wine, and thermoses of hot buttered rum. I highly recommend it if you can talk some rich alumni's household staff into catering the tailgate.
October 27th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
#1035
Exactly.
Canham popularized tailgating and started selling out the Stadium by appealing to women, not men. There wouldn't be "manly Michigan Tailgates" if not for that.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
#1036
Unless Martha Stewart has a
Unless Martha Stewart has a large truck in her backyard, a tailgate is simply impossible. And therefore, discredits her entire "tailgating" strategy.
October 26th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
#1037
pretty sure it's bocce, but
pretty sure it's bocce, but either way, drunk croquet is an AWESOME tailgating idea (until you try to send somebody's ball flying and hit your ankle cuz youre too drunk)
October 26th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
#1038
I'm afraid you guys might be
I'm afraid you guys might be overlooking the very best part of this article - the comments section. here's how The South views an 'authentic' tailgate:
"Start talking about the tailgate party the week before. Argue over beers on TU, WED and TH, especially during the ESPN TH game of the week.
Saturday arrives.
8 AM - first of the 50 people who will be at the party arrive. With Cigars.
810 am - first beer and /or mimosa or bourbon
900 AM - bourbon and cokes accompany the grilled breakfast items, including large slabs of extra thick bacon, lots of coffee, eggs, sausage and someone's leftover deer meat from hunting the week prior
1000AM- someone sets up not one but THREE TVs to watch gameday.
1000 - start the smoker for the 2 boston butts you will grill - each weighs 10 pounds.
Noon - wife and GFs arrive. clean up breakfast, start preparing for lunch
1230 - put slabs of ribs on the grill
100 PM- the uppity guy from the good southern fraternity puts pork loin on the grill. 7 pounder.
100-300- arguments ensue over ACC quality. GF argues that Duke's WR's could 'torch' WVA's dbacks. Since she went to Alabama she will of course know their names andhometowns.
100-330 - Games commence - beer pong, lots of solo cups, bean bag toss.
DID I MENTION NO ONE EVER MAKES A DAMN QUESADILLA AT A SOUTHERN TAILGATE???
330 CBS game of the week- since it's a SOUTHERN TAILGATE - it will be an SEC game ..with the auxiliary TVs showing Big 12 game and maybe a reigonal SEC tilt.
330-7PM - lots of eating, sides including mac and cheese, home made southern beans, a fried side or three, shots of Crown Royal. Little kids get sent inside since the REAL SOUTHERN TAILGATE HAS STARTED.
500-700PM - beer run at halftime, more bourbon, someone you trust has arrived with tequila.
7PM /dark - You are in CT so we here in the south appreciate that it's dark there by 515 pm ... bring out the fire ring, put wood on.
730 PM game- the SEC game is usually at 730 or 8 AND there is a game on a 9 pm ... watch them ALL.
730 - Someone refires up the grill since a guy from Texas A and M has arrived with 5 packs of bratwursts.
9 PM- police arrive, you lower the sound, end the beer pong game.
10 PM- the front yard looks like a tornado hit it. Time to grill dessert- arguments ensue, you start planning the next week.
1130 PM - the last of the lightweights has left.
12 midnight- College Football Final is now on, ESPN. Pizzas arrive. Wives leave the inside of the house (the ones from the PAC 12 schools who married SEC grads), and come outside to sit by the fire and eat pizza with left over boston pork butt thrown on slices.
1230-130 - Someone finds an old DVD of (1)a classic rivalry game (2)a spring game (3)It's not the DVD, it's the damn replay of the game we saw at noon!
So you drink some more. ONE person suggests making a quesadilla, so he gets pants'd. Last of the 10 bratwursts are cut up and put on a paper plate, served caviar style to the remaining stalwarts.
130-200 - lights out. Bring TVs in, leave the rest as is til the morning, It can wait, your team has won.
there you have it TRUE SOUTHERN TAILGATE.
NO QUESADILLAS. EVER."
October 26th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
#1039
The last step
where it says "your team has won"...does this mean Auburn fans don't wait till morning to bring the rest of the stuff in?
October 26th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
#1040
Yikes
just yikes...
October 26th, 2012 at 4:54 PM
#1041
Who let Martha out of jail in
Who let Martha out of jail in the first place?
October 26th, 2012 at 9:54 PM
#1042
Overcrowding and Jerry Sandusky
needs a cell
October 26th, 2012 at 5:17 PM
#1043
All I know is that the
All I know is that the quality, quantity and variety of food we serve at our tailgate improved 10 fold once my current wife started attending. My practice wife hated football and hated the tailgate and never went, much less make anything thereby resulting in boring food choices. The avatar, on the other hand, LOVES to cook and spends most of Friday making stuff for us to bring.
October 27th, 2012 at 3:25 AM
#1044
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point
Rationale: Objectification. {see terms "practice wife," "The avatar"}
Suggestions: A wife is a person, and as such should not be described as "practice," nor as "the avatar," which is a representation of an object. Better terms would include: "former wife," and "the woman pictured in my avatar, who also happens to be my current wife," or simply, "my current wife."
October 26th, 2012 at 6:52 PM
#1045
blaze
your just above treading h2o here. Back slowly out of the room and do not return until December 2nd. Shhhhhhhh.
October 26th, 2012 at 9:25 PM
#1046
The Durrrrty South
This pretty much already is how they tailgate in the South... generic music and all
also
October 26th, 2012 at 10:49 PM
#1047
Good thing
you didn't see her fishing shanty issue.
October 27th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
#1048
A bit extreme, but there are
A bit extreme, but there are tons of different ways to put on a tailgate. To each their own.
October 27th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
#1049
Martha recommends the "moosh moosh"
What the heck is "moosh moosh"(sp?)
