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Martha Stewart officially destroys tailgating

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:37 PM
#902
jabberwock
jabberwock's picture
Joined: 07/04/2008
MGoPoints: 44183
You've never actually had sex with a woman

have you?

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
(Reply to #2) #903
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
I'm not sure

My wife might have a different opinion than I do.

I suppose I should specify that not ALL women officially ruin tailgates. Just some.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
(Reply to #5) #904
y2mh
y2mh's picture
Joined: 07/25/2012
MGoPoints: 689
Opinion to which part

Opinion to which part of that statement?  That you had sex or were with a woman?    /s

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:30 PM
(Reply to #33) #905
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
No sex with

a woman?  Yikes

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October 27th, 2012 at 2:56 AM
(Reply to #5) #906
CreepAlert
CreepAlert's picture
Joined: 10/27/2012
MGoPoints: 4
Let me be the first to congratulate you, Blaze!

This thread has spawned my creation, thanks!

From now on, my creator will deploy this account to track posts and/or comments that make statements which are distasteful and/or alienate members of the MGoCommunity on the basis of race, sex, gender, orientation, nationality, veteran status and disability. Offending posts will be noted, suggestions to improve discourse will be offered, and points will be tallied by username in two categories: the Creeper Cone of Shame and the Upstanding Citizen's Cup. The Cone will be bestowed biannually to the poster with the most offenses, and the Cup will be given to the user with most positive contributions to making all feel welcome. 

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:36 PM
#907
Baldbill
Baldbill's picture
Joined: 04/09/2009
MGoPoints: 3579
You are so getting coal for

You are so getting coal for Christmas.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
(Reply to #3) #908
CorkyCole
Joined: 06/13/2011
MGoPoints: 4498
Worst joke ever.

Worst joke ever.

Edit: Apparently I needed to be a bit more clear. In context, the above statement was quite comical. It's just that "coal" jokes are all too prevalent in my life. If you are confused, please refer to my username. If confusion STILL arises, Cole... coal... ha.... Why am I posting this? I do not know. Joke = funny. Moving along.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
#909
andrewG
andrewG's picture
Joined: 10/20/2010
MGoPoints: 3153
do you feel better now?

do you feel better now?

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:38 PM
#910
urbanachiever
urbanachiever's picture
Joined: 01/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2257
You are justified in your

You are justified in your frustration

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:34 PM
(Reply to #6) #911
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
Blue ball

is a real drag.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:39 PM
#912
Darker Blue
Darker Blue's picture
Joined: 10/30/2011
MGoPoints: 23320
well

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
(Reply to #7) #913
BlueBarron
BlueBarron's picture
Joined: 06/21/2010
MGoPoints: 10322
Someone should make an NHL

Someone should make an NHL version of this captioned "In Before the Lockout"

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:40 PM
#914
DixieWreck
Joined: 07/31/2010
MGoPoints: 1865
Should have gone to

Buffalo Wild Wings

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
(Reply to #8) #915
MGoDC
Joined: 03/21/2010
MGoPoints: 2517
I logged in just to upvote

I logged in just to upvote this. I guarantee this is going to be the best post on this thread.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:36 PM
(Reply to #15) #916
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
yes

it is.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:42 PM
#917
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
First of all,

tailgating is a whole different game down south.  

Second, as a woman, I am offended.

Third, I think with much work, we could find you a nice woman, Blazefire.  Don't give up hope.

Also, as an English major, I commend your use of "prattling".   Good one.   

 

edit:   I see you have a wife.  We can set up a support group for her.  at a tailgate.  with fine china. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:44 PM
(Reply to #9) #918
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
Clarification request

"Second, as a woman, I am offended."

But as a Michigan fan, you whole heartedly agree with meand will adopt the spirit of the season? Or... no?

Just to note, I am married to an awesome woman. Article made me laugh at how on point it was to my life, though.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
(Reply to #10) #919
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
Maybe I will agree....

a fancy tailgate with "activities" would creep me out.  But I do enjoy a large supply of different appetizers (may or may not be from PInterest), a main dish (can be hot dogs) and some great desserts.  No activities or fine China!  And no warm beer!  cold beer, whiskey sours, and maybe Bloody Mary's for a noon game.  I pass on the Wine for a tailgate.  Sangria is OK.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
(Reply to #24) #920
loosekanen
Joined: 10/03/2009
MGoPoints: 830
The bloody mary is the most

The bloody mary is the most criminally overlooked beverage in existence. Most people seem to love them, yet they rarely order them. Whenever I'm in Vegas I'm usually ordering them and I couldn't count the number of people near me who always say, "Wow, that sounds really good. I'll have one too!" It's a unisex drink too which improves its utility at a party.

+1 to you for realizing its usefulness at a tailgate.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
(Reply to #34) #921
wigeon
wigeon's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 6729
you gotta

try the Bloody Caeser's they serve poolside at the Bellagio.

Otherworldly.  

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
(Reply to #41) #922
mark5750
mark5750's picture
Joined: 07/29/2010
MGoPoints: 895
Bloody Caesar's at Bellagio?

I am currently in the area for work and am intrigued by this...but just for the sake of saying it wouldn't a Bloody Caesar be more of a Caesar's Palace kind of drink?

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:40 PM
(Reply to #41) #923
Njia
Njia's picture
Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
Bloody Caesars

Canada's contribution to cocktails, and damn, they're good.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:37 PM
(Reply to #95) #924
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
great to

see our neighbors to the north get a plug

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:46 PM
(Reply to #34) #925
leftrare
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1938
I'm fine with my manhood

And i have a bloody mary recipe that I thought I'd share, passed down from my late stepfather, a UM B-School grad.  This is a relatively mild spice load so you may add more to suit your taste, but follow the basic ingredients.

1 half-gallon  jug of Clamato Juice

1 teaspoon tabasco

2 teaspoons lemon juice

3 teaspoons worcester

2 teaspoons horseradish (not the creamy kind)

After you mix the jug, you can pour some off and replace with vodka, so it's all ready to go.

Serve over ice of course, and top it off with a splash of beer.  it adds a nice bit of effervescence and cuts the viscousness of the tomato juice.

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October 27th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
(Reply to #110) #926
MDave
MDave's picture
Joined: 05/20/2010
MGoPoints: 427
Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to

Isn't that a Bloody Caesar to a T?

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
(Reply to #10) #927
Jon06
Jon06's picture
Joined: 09/19/2009
MGoPoints: 9457
I don't know if you got the handbook

But now that you're married, you can just tell her to go to hell if she bothers you when you're trying to watch football.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0061BQR5O

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
(Reply to #55) #928
profitgoblue
profitgoblue's picture
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19557
RIght, because that

RIght, because that wouldn't end up killing your changes to enjoy the rest of this football season and probably the next three as well . . .

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 8:42 PM
(Reply to #62) #929
Jon06
Jon06's picture
Joined: 09/19/2009
MGoPoints: 9457
Well, not really

I mean, are you married? It turns out that, by the time somebody likes you enough to marry you, she will put up with being told to go to hell during football games every once in a while. I was a little surprised, too, but it works. Just don't let anybody put anything about paying attention to anyone during fall Saturdays into your vows and you're good.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:05 PM
(Reply to #118) #930
Njia
Njia's picture
Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
Well, huh...

I must have forgotten to attach that rider to my marriage license. Or my wife didn't tell me about it. Likely the latter.

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October 27th, 2012 at 9:34 AM
(Reply to #118) #931
UMgradMSUdad
UMgradMSUdad's picture
Joined: 07/02/2011
MGoPoints: 9516
She's just being sneaky. It

She's just being sneaky. It took 25 years for my wife to finally realize that no matter how hard she tries, she's never going to mold me into the imaginary man she wishes she'd married.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:46 PM
(Reply to #9) #932
Chester Cheetah
Chester Cheetah's picture
Joined: 07/01/2009
MGoPoints: 2147
I'll bring the salmon

I'll bring the salmon rillettes and make some themed cocktails.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
(Reply to #13) #933
quigley.blue
quigley.blue's picture
Joined: 03/01/2010
MGoPoints: 4212
I was going to rant

I was going to rant about "wtf is a rillette, GTFO" and then I googled:

"Rillettes is a preparation of meat similar to pâté. Originally made with pork, the
meat is cubed or chopped, salted heavily and cooked slowly in fat until it is tender
"

and, YES PLEASE

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:49 PM
(Reply to #13) #934
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
Sigh

I suppose I have only myself to blame.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:38 PM
(Reply to #20) #935
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
yes sir

you do.  but I will give you a +1 anyway.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:50 PM
(Reply to #9) #936
willywill9
willywill9's picture
Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12910
In what sense is tailgaiting

In what sense is tailgaiting a whole different bowl of boiled peanuts?

Haha, my GF is from Georgia, and I've been to many a southern tailgate.  Food is awesome, but I'm curious what you're pointing to specifically.  

I will say this, girls in the south can actually sit and watch a football game (thank God, my gf is so understanding of my CFB addiction.)

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:59 PM
(Reply to #21) #937
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
I will say this, girls in the

I will say this, girls in the south are just better generally. 

/shots fired

//War of Northern Aggression Round 2

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:58 PM
(Reply to #21) #938
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
I hear the women in the south...

I hear Southern women dress up for tailgating?  No?  Although I did buy myself a cute pair of maize cords yesterday.........Oh, God, someone help me!!!!

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:32 PM
(Reply to #29) #939
willywill9
willywill9's picture
Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12910
ya!  Sundresses for the

ya!  Sundresses for the games... pledges (and most guys) where suits.  It's a big deal.  Wearing Jerseys are frowned upon.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
(Reply to #47) #940
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
They have an unfair advatage

They have an unfair advantage over us and that is-  weather!  90 degrees every Saturday down south....perfect for Sundresses.  Sorry for the guys that have to wear suits, though.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
(Reply to #50) #941
MGoBrewMom
MGoBrewMom's picture
Joined: 08/13/2009
MGoPoints: 22503
I live in San Diego

And no way in hell am I wearing a dress...shorts and flip flops for football, and most everything (non work) else.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:39 PM
(Reply to #92) #942
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
touche

to you

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
(Reply to #47) #943
Needs
Joined: 08/05/2008
MGoPoints: 7194
Correction

An oxford, a blazer, and a tie does not a suit make. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
(Reply to #84) #944
Wisconsin Wolverine
Wisconsin Wolverine's picture
Joined: 05/18/2011
MGoPoints: 2254
I know what 1 out of those 3

I know what 1 out of those 3 things is.  I'm a bloody savage, aren't I?

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:03 PM
(Reply to #101) #945
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 10448
You are pitiful.

Oxford - place in England

Blazer - Chevy 4 x 4

Tie - like kissing your sister

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:40 PM
(Reply to #103) #946
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
+1 for the tie

comment

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
(Reply to #47) #947
TIMMMAAY
TIMMMAAY's picture
Joined: 09/08/2008
MGoPoints: 41345
Where?

Where?

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:45 PM
#948
Hardware Sushi
Hardware Sushi's picture
Joined: 03/08/2010
MGoPoints: 6379
I'd like to add

I'd like to add "throwing a football" and "finding somewhere to pee between cars" to the list of acceptable tailgate activities.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
(Reply to #11) #949
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
I support this ammendment.

I support this ammendment.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:48 PM
(Reply to #11) #950
urbanachiever
urbanachiever's picture
Joined: 01/16/2010
MGoPoints: 2257
The latter is both acceptable

The latter is both acceptable and necessary in order to maximize one's enjoyment at a tailgate

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:41 PM
(Reply to #18) #951
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
yes

it does.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:56 PM
(Reply to #11) #952
cheesheadwolverine
Joined: 10/25/2008
MGoPoints: 4386
Also drinking games. If that

Also drinking games. If that isn't covered by drinking

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:47 PM
#953
MGoOscarWilde
MGoOscarWilde's picture
Joined: 10/02/2012
MGoPoints: 21
Awkward

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
(Reply to #16) #954
willywill9
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Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12910
Generally, i think the whole

Generally, i think the whole snide comment picture thing is played out... but this is down right hilarious.  Thanks for giving me hope.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
(Reply to #25) #955
Corey
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Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 1789
(No subject)

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:51 PM
#956
RakeFight
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Joined: 02/21/2012
MGoPoints: 8505
Can't you just be thankful

Can't you just be thankful that you are at a tailgate... which also implies you should be thankful that you are going to a game? 

To be so lucky!

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:55 PM
#957
LSAClassOf2000
LSAClassOf2000's picture
Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 81285
There Is One Thing...

One of the comments in the replies to the story included something that I can definitely imagine at Southern Tailgates...

"100-300 arguments ensue over ACC quality. GF argues that Duke's WR's could 'torch' WVA's dbacks. Since she went to Alabama she will of course know their names and hometowns."

Actually, the whole comment thread for the article is pretty funny.

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October 26th, 2012 at 12:54 PM
#958
Feat of Clay
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Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 3698
XENOPHOBIA & CULTURAL IMPERIALISM

I went to college in the South.  I wore a dress to every tailgate.  Only a complete brute of a man would show up to a tailgate without coat and tie.

That scenario probably  has Big Ten folk aghast, but on the plus side there was often very good bourbon available.

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
(Reply to #26) #959
RakeFight
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Joined: 02/21/2012
MGoPoints: 8505
What has me aghast is the

What has me aghast is the implication that you have to dress up to drink good bourbon. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
(Reply to #31) #960
OysterMonkey
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Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 5480
Fixed it for you

What has me aghast is the implication that you have to dress up be dressed to drink good bourbon.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
(Reply to #81) #961
swan flu
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Joined: 08/16/2010
MGoPoints: 8152
<--- Big big fan of scotch

<--- Big big fan of scotch whisky, have yet to find a bourbon that I really enjoy...

 

Looking for reccomendations to better acquaint myself with the joys of bourbon.  Any suggestions?

 

Thanks. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 6:58 PM
(Reply to #94) #962
BK-bloo
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Joined: 01/07/2009
MGoPoints: 892
my favorite

of the widely available ones, I always enjoy Woodford Reserve (always neat).  The current rise in micro distilleries keeps things interesting, too.  Happy hunting.

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October 26th, 2012 at 7:25 PM
(Reply to #94) #963
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 10448
Two words...

Mint Julep Jelly Shots (yeah, you can't count after a few of them)

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October 26th, 2012 at 8:12 PM
(Reply to #94) #964
Njia
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Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
Love Scotch whisky

The Macallan 18 is my favorite spirit of all time. I like Bourbon, too, and Irish whiskey for good measure. I'll take just about any barrel-aged, distilled spirit from grains. The flavors of vanilla, oak and caramel are always high on my list. 

Went on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail just this week, in fact. Stopped at Four Roses and tried their three whiskeys sold here in the U.S. (yellow label, small batch and single barrel). I was fairly impressed.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:45 PM
(Reply to #117) #965
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
Dalmore 18

is my favorite scotch.  It is distilled in the Highlands in Tain.

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October 27th, 2012 at 8:04 AM
(Reply to #94) #966
U Fer M
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Joined: 08/01/2010
MGoPoints: 964
I like Buffalo Trace, smooth

I like Buffalo Trace, smooth and really good for the price, no so damn 'spensive.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
(Reply to #31) #967
MichFan1997
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Joined: 08/04/2008
MGoPoints: 10334
What in the

name of Barney Stinson is wrong with dressing up to drink?

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:02 PM
(Reply to #26) #968
Blazefire
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Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
No restrictions on clothing

I encourage proper dress, in fact. After all, one does not want to be mistaken for a slovenly hobo while drinking outdoors.

Just don't ask me why it's so important that I get the signal in for the noon games when we're going to a live game at 3:30. And more importantly, don't glare at me when you're trying to chat me up about new landscaping ideas and I respond with a grunt and a comment on WVU's defense.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
(Reply to #26) #969
profitgoblue
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Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19557
I've been to a Clemson game

I've been to a Clemson game in September.  If you think its anywhere close to being fair that girls can wear airy dresses while guys have to wear a stiffling coat and tie then you've got another thing coming.  The girls in the South are outstanding but the guys are clearly all idiots.

#carpetbaggers

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:01 PM
#970
JBE
JBE's picture
Joined: 08/18/2008
MGoPoints: 17893
I'd rather be kicking it in

I'd rather be kicking it in the the above picture than the below picture.

The above picture looks sensual.

The below picture looks boring.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:12 PM
#971
Coach Kyle
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Joined: 11/28/2010
MGoPoints: 210
For me... so long as it's

For me... so long as it's tasty and I don't have to do any work other than lifting it to my mouth, that's perfect tailgate food. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:13 PM
#972
Don
Don's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 70307
"Southern Tailgater"

Capitalizing it makes it sound like an unwholesome sexual act. NTTAWWT.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:46 PM
(Reply to #36) #973
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
Or the name of a real good porno

I would direct it.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:14 PM
#974
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 29685
Other than the activities...

I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this. Once you get past "mandatory" flag football or Bacci ball (oh, and I'll concede the decorations sound terrible), you have:

  • Cheese quesadillas (with guacamole and sour cream)
  • Veggie platters with dip
  • Chips and salsa
  • Make-your-own-fajita station
  • Hot chocolate

That doesn't sound terrible to me. The food is pretty much in line with what I would expect to see at a backyard family tailgate, although none of my drinks of choice are represented. Maybe I'd prefer some more barbeque, but if the alternative is fajitas you won't hear any complaining from me.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
(Reply to #37) #975
Njia
Njia's picture
Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
Man card

Please return yours.

/kidding

/not_really

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
(Reply to #93) #976
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 29685
I mean...

If I'm at the game I'd rather be eating brats and burgers (actually I'd rather be eating some kind of pork, but whatever), but I'm not sure how fajitas and quesadillas suddenly got less manly because it's a fall Saturday. Also, if you don't like chips and salsa or some vegetables and ranch...I don't even know, man.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:47 PM
(Reply to #97) #977
Njia
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Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
I was with you...

Right up until "make your own fajita station." At that point, I had visions of white coated waitstaff, and little finger foods, and china. Also, stemware. Also, nothing called "crudite" should ever be allowed at a tailgate. Sure, I get that they're cut up veggies, but still...

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
(Reply to #99) #978
justingoblue
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Joined: 11/16/2010
MGoPoints: 29685
Gotcha.

When I say "make-your-own-fajita station" what that usually means for me is putting the crockpot full of venison steak, onions and peppers on the counter with tortillas, a bag of shredded cheese, a tub of sour cream and some different hot sauces out on my kitchen island.

And you now have me thinking about a make your own fajita station tonight, dammit.

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
(Reply to #37) #979
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 32946
I'm not so sure what's wrong

I'm not so sure what's wrong with all this.

I'll tell you what's wrong.  Nowhere does it mention beer or any actual watching of football.  This is what happens when you mix the Martha-Stewart-esque desire to have phony perfection in everything you do, with the same attitude responsible for the creation of "woman-caves."  The people who try this sort of thing with the expectation that it'll actually work are the same people who were the only ones not having having fun at their wedding (despite being the bride) because shit didn't go down exactly has planned.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
#980
Erik_in_Dayton
Erik_in_Dayton's picture
Joined: 12/03/2008
MGoPoints: 34174
None of it matters to me

I have no use for tailgaiting (not that I make it to games much).  I don't like to eat before games because I'm always a little sick to my stomach during them, and I don't like being distracted by anything a good hour before kickoff (and then during the game, of course).  The team needs my total focus.*

 

*That's crazy?  No, you are crazy, and I'll thank you stop projecting your voice into my head.   

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:22 PM
#981
MGoJen
Joined: 11/23/2008
MGoPoints: 1833
All "activities" at my

All "activities" at my tailgates revolve around Jameson.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:24 PM
(Reply to #40) #982
Blazefire
Blazefire's picture
Joined: 04/17/2009
MGoPoints: 25034
See?

Like I said. Not ALL women are responsible for the destruction of tailgates. Some just for the destruction of livers.

Which is wholly encouraged.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:29 PM
(Reply to #42) #983
MGoJen
Joined: 11/23/2008
MGoPoints: 1833
Livers, dignity, furniture,

Livers, dignity, furniture, clothing, etc etc etc. =) 

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:38 PM
(Reply to #45) #984
willywill9
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Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12910
thought that said "Future"

thought that said "Future" and not furniture.  

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
(Reply to #48) #985
quigley.blue
quigley.blue's picture
Joined: 03/01/2010
MGoPoints: 4212
*Future

Future also.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:11 PM
(Reply to #54) #986
profitgoblue
profitgoblue's picture
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19557
Some say "future," some say

Some say "future," some say "life as we know it."  Either way, same result.

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
(Reply to #48) #987
MGoJen
Joined: 11/23/2008
MGoPoints: 1833
That too.

But whatevz.  What happens in Ann Arbor stays in Ann Arbor. =)

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:25 PM
#988
2plankr
Joined: 03/13/2009
MGoPoints: -433
WHATS A QUESADILLA? ROLL TIDE

WHATS A QUESADILLA? ROLL TIDE

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:27 PM
#989
Marvin
Marvin's picture
Joined: 08/17/2010
MGoPoints: 4635
I think it's a marvelous idea

I think it's a marvelous idea to decorate the tailgate table with "fall colors." Because that's what people like! I also like to "line my veggie bowls" with lettuce, because again, that's what people fucking kill for. And what a wonderful idea to serve grilled cheese quesadillas, which of course are a staple at all pre-game festivities! This is precious! I can't wait to play Baci Saturday all goddamn day before the Michigan game! I'm going to kill everyone at Baci!!! In other words, THANK YOU MARTHA!!

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:30 PM
#990
Bronco648
Bronco648's picture
Joined: 08/20/2008
MGoPoints: 2023
Winner!

Guy who had his last football Saturday ruined by a group of women who complained he wasn't "participating". I had my beer and my eyes on the TV. That is how you participate in a damned tailgate! Not by doing the friggin christmas name-draw!

You win the internet today - LOL.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
(Reply to #49) #991
MAgoBLUE
MAgoBLUE's picture
Joined: 05/21/2010
MGoPoints: 2451
Martha Stewart is from

Martha Stewart is from Westport, CT and this article is in the Wesport Patch.  I'm assuming that's the connection that the OP was making.

As for the artcile, I've been enjoying it and the comments all week since Jason Kirk tweeted about it on Monday.  I went to college in the town next to Wesport and this type of party would be very typical for the residents of Connecticut's "Gold Coast".  As others have noted, it doesn't sound like a bad party, just not a good tailgate.  Also, in my opinion you can't have a tailgate at your house.  That would be considered a BBQ.  Without a car there is no tailgate.

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October 27th, 2012 at 9:47 AM
(Reply to #51) #992
Rasmus
Rasmus's picture
Joined: 07/02/2009
MGoPoints: 2201
To be fair,

To be fair, this is probably a bit unfair to the actual Martha Stewart -- she would do a better job than this. For one, like the OP, she'd recognize that the decor (and attire) should be about fandom -- I'm not quite sure what tasteful fandom looks like, but I'm sure she would be happy to show me. I think it might involve pennants. Second, I'd hope she'd recognize that to be a "tailgater," you'd have to hold it in your driveway, not in the backyard.

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October 27th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
(Reply to #147) #993
Njia
Njia's picture
Joined: 09/15/2009
MGoPoints: 26787
Well, to be fair

Martha would probably expect the guests not to wear the jerseys and bright colors of their teams, but rather "tea stain" white t-shirts to "celebrate the colors of autumn."

And if you want to know how I know what "tea staining" is, here's a clue: Michael's is my wife and daughter's favorite store on earth.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
(Reply to #49) #994
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
Well, radierblue,

Poor Blazefire originally titled this thread "women destroy tailgating" and then very quickly realized that was not the most perfect title in the world and changed it to Martha Stewart. 

Sometimes I feel all threads should have a 12 hour wait period before being posted...

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
(Reply to #66) #995
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
This has nothing to do with

This has nothing to do with treating women like objects. He said they destroy tailgates, which requires agency. How can you treat something like an object while simultaneously affirming its agency? Not all instances of misogyny are instances of treating women like objects.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
(Reply to #70) #996
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
Sorry, I missed the

Sorry, I missed the reference. The forthcoming downvotes are well deserved. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
(Reply to #66) #997
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
You work too hard, raiderblue!

5 minutes of work is outrageous.  I've got it made being a stay at home mom.  My job improved dramatically once the third child headed off to Kindergarten.  Sadly, now I have just discovered how lazy I actually am.

The 12 hour waiting period I was referring to was for poorly titled threads, not your response.  I can imagine sometimes people start a thread and then ten minutes later they think,"D'oh!". 

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:49 PM
(Reply to #76) #998
profitgoblue
profitgoblue's picture
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19557
WHOA!!!  I just bookmarked

WHOA!!!  I just bookmarked this thread so I can show my wife the next time she yells about how I've got it easy going to work everyday instead of staying at home with the kids.  (Of course, our two are younger than kindergarten age so I assume I'll lose the argument again.  Dammit.)

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
(Reply to #80) #999
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
Sorry, profitgoblue, you still have it easy...

Two at home means she still can't go to the bathroom alone.....It's a whole different ballgame! 

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
(Reply to #91) #1000
profitgoblue
profitgoblue's picture
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 19557
That is EXACTLY what she

That is EXACTLY what she tells me.  Can't go to the bathroom, can't eat, and can't shower.  I guess that explains why she stinks . . . Hahaha.

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
(Reply to #56) #1001
MichFan1997
MichFan1997's picture
Joined: 08/04/2008
MGoPoints: 10334
LOL

could you imagine a recruiting thread being relevant after the 12 hour wait period? Hell, kid could commit and de-commit by then.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
#1002
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 10448
This is nothing less than one of the unintended consequences of

the 19th Amendment.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
(Reply to #52) #1003
BiSB
BiSB's picture
Joined: 08/15/2009
MGoPoints: 44839
So, you're saying...

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
(Reply to #83) #1004
LB
LB's picture
Joined: 09/26/2009
MGoPoints: 10448
I got away with one, I'm not saying anything

else. I especially did not laugh out loud when I watched that.

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October 26th, 2012 at 6:21 PM
(Reply to #83) #1005
Wendyk5
Wendyk5's picture
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 16671
Was that video a response to

Was that video a response to not getting any in high school? 

 

Edit: Now that I think about it, if he had been smarter, he would have known that making girls look stupid is no way to endear himself to dumb girls and smart girls alike. So while trying to make himself look smart by making girls look dumb, he missed the opportunity that other, nicer boys who, instead of spending time making girls look dumb, were spending time getting laid. Make sense? 

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October 26th, 2012 at 6:35 PM
(Reply to #111) #1006
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
No, because jerks have

No, because jerks have exponentially better chances at getting laid. A friend of mine actually turned that into an experiment. All I'll say is that the hypothesis had remarkable predictive ability and that he's dedicated the past year and a half to expanding his sample size. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 7:19 PM
(Reply to #112) #1007
Wendyk5
Wendyk5's picture
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 16671
He must be sampling from the

He must be sampling from the girls with low self-esteem group. My experience, and the experience of my friends, proves different. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 10:28 PM
(Reply to #115) #1008
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 32946
No offense, but no.  You may

No offense, but no.  You may gravitate toward nice guys, and think that therefore men should find it easier to get girls by being nice, but it doesn't work that way.  Being nice has landed me, and by and large most of my friends, in second place, every single time.  No girl or woman I've ever wanted to sleep with, date, marry, or otherwise be in some kind of relationship with has ever responded positively to coming on nice.  They think they do, but they don't.  Getting wasted and slapping on a nametag with my pornstar name on it, however?  Go figure.

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October 26th, 2012 at 11:41 PM
(Reply to #134) #1009
Wendyk5
Wendyk5's picture
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 16671
You know how men say they

You know how men say they don't understand women? They're right. You're mistaking confidence and surehandedness for dickishness. I guess there are women out there who mistake those two things as well. But the female fantasy isn't to sleep with an asshole. The female fantasy is to be  with a guy who isn't a metrosexual pussy but a caveman who will throw you down but then offer to do your laundry, a guy who will be genuinely kind to some homeless person on the street, one who will talk to your mother on the phone in a really endearing way even when he doesn't want to. Seriously, when you figure out that we want a good dose of testerone laced with good guy kindness, the oyster will open up for you. 

 

I noticed you were upvoted to the max. Probably all by guys. 

 

Edit: And I say this respectfully and with the intention of helping you (plural - all guys). 

 

And I also agree with the premise of this thread, re: Martha Stewart. She's ruined a lot of things, but I do love the fact that she spent time in the clink. 

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October 27th, 2012 at 1:46 AM
(Reply to #136) #1010
MGoBrewMom
MGoBrewMom's picture
Joined: 08/13/2009
MGoPoints: 22503
I would like to hang out

You nailed it. Exactly.

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October 27th, 2012 at 2:45 AM
(Reply to #137) #1011
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
I was going to leave this

I was going to leave this alone because honestly it's not that important, but something about this post annoys me. Not sure what it is though, it's a pretty benign post.

She's not right, at all. Women's motivations and desires are irrelevant (to this discussion, not in general). We were discussing the most successful strategy for getting women to sleep with you, not how they feel about it. In terms of pure, dispassionate numbers, the jerk wins nearly every time (all else being equal). If you want to argue that this isn't the most fulfilling path for either party, perhaps you have a point. That wasn't what we were talking about though. Being a jerk works. It just does, I'm sorry. Even if it IS just women mistaking jerk for confidence, it still works and that's what matters for the discussion.

Also, I believe her when she says she offered her "advice" respectfully. Still was super annoying though becuase in doing so she framed things as her educating the poor clueless brutes, when in reality she was arguing a straw man. 

/Rant.  I need to go to bed and stop posting here after drinking. This was super off topic for this blog. So, uh.. Go Blue?  

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October 27th, 2012 at 8:07 AM
(Reply to #138) #1012
Wendyk5
Wendyk5's picture
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 16671
I'm sorry if I sounded like I

I'm sorry if I sounded like I know it all. I actually come here to MGoBlog to talk football, not male female dynamics. But when they do come up, and they did even before the video was posted (which is what prompted this whole thing), there's always guys who talk about women like we're all the same. Not all guys do this, but there are always some. And that's super annoying. I see your point, in the whole idea that women like bad boys, but there's more to it. It is nuanced. 

 

And yes, Go Blue! 

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October 27th, 2012 at 10:09 AM
(Reply to #145) #1013
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 32946
It is nuanced, yes.  The

It is nuanced, yes.  The problem is this: Guys do not pick up on nuance very well.  At all.  We understand "yes" and "no."  (Some don't understand "no" but we're talking about normal guys here, not rapists.)  Women have the right to be annoyed that men don't "get them" and talk about women as if they're all the same.  But if you're gonna do that, please allow men a little frustration with the attitude that guys don't get women, combined with the simultaneous expectation for us to pick up on all that nuance.  Rather than letting it come down to which approach is best for talking to/meeting/sleeping with girls, guys really, really do appreciate it when women are clear about how they feel BEFORE it comes down to trying to decide whether to be a jerk or be nice.

Also, to stay more on topic, please stop appropriating guy things and putting doilies on them kthxbai.  The reason this thread exists is because guys honestly can't fathom the workings of a brain that wants to do this.  We don't say to each other, "you know what would be awesome?  a baby shower, but with beer!"

Also also Go Blue.

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October 27th, 2012 at 11:41 AM
(Reply to #149) #1014
Wendyk5
Wendyk5's picture
Joined: 11/20/2008
MGoPoints: 16671
I don't get the doily thing,

I don't get the doily thing, either. And as far as saying men don't get us, I'm only responding to this thread, which is essentially...."why do women have to be like this?"  I agree that men and women are really different. I'm a former advertising copywriter and I used to write McDonald's commercials. I once wrote a spot where a guy is at McDonald's and calls his girlfriend to see if she wants anything. She tells him, "You know what I like." And he freaks because all he thinks about is baseball statistics. He has no idea what she likes (or thinks, or feels). It was totally based on my huband and it was done tongue in cheek (and in the spot, he ends up ordering the entire Dollar Menu and offering each item up to her to see which one she grabs).  So yeah, I get that men are simpler. I get frustrated with women, too. 

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October 28th, 2012 at 10:23 AM
(Reply to #136) #1015
willywill9
willywill9's picture
Joined: 09/22/2008
MGoPoints: 12910
I see both points.  In HS and

I see both points.  In HS and in early college the jerks won out.  But, like you suggest, you learn to not really focus on being a jerk, but you learn to play the game like you've got "nothing to lose" so to speak.  Not to say you don't "care" about the girl, but you just be confident, funny, and don't give her your undivided attention (aka don't sweat her), and things typically work out.

At least that's my approach.

 

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October 27th, 2012 at 3:34 AM
(Reply to #134) #1016
CreepAlert
CreepAlert's picture
Joined: 10/27/2012
MGoPoints: 4
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point

Rationale: "Nice Guy Syndrome" asserted as universal fact. Belittles womens' judgment {see: "They think they do, but they don't."}

Suggestion: Refrain from projecting personal experiences on people as a whole. 

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October 27th, 2012 at 1:50 PM
(Reply to #143) #1017
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 42199
Trolling Standing -4

Congratulations, four posts in and you're already my least favorite poster on the site.

Suggestion: lighten up. Or go away.

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October 27th, 2012 at 3:12 AM
(Reply to #112) #1018
CreepAlert
CreepAlert's picture
Joined: 10/27/2012
MGoPoints: 4
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point

Rationale: Pseudoscience {see term: "exponentially better chances at getting laid"} driven by anecdotal experience with stereotypical Pick-Up Arist {PUA} mentality {see "expanding his sample size."}

Suggestion: Do not state as fact that which is opinion, and degrading to women on the assertion that they are as a whole more likely to sleep with a "jerk." It is best to treat people as the individuals that they are, rather than predictable as a result of one defining characteristic such as gender. 

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October 27th, 2012 at 3:26 AM
(Reply to #140) #1019
Owl
Owl's picture
Joined: 04/14/2012
MGoPoints: 1059
I see where you're coming from, but

The language reflected a poor attempt at humor/ expanding on a metaphor rather than a genuine Pick-Up Artist mentality. Your point is received though, and it is a legitimate one. My language was... regrettable. Come on though, people are predictable for a whole host of reasons. And I disagree that the observation that women are more likely to sleep with jerks is degrading to women because I didn't go on to speculate why I thought that was. Actually, I DO agree that it's because it's sometimes easy to mistake for confidence, and I think that people of all genders are generally pretty bad at making decisions that will make them most happy in life.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:50 PM
(Reply to #52) #1020
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
good point

here

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
#1021
His Dudeness
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: -104
If you plan a wedding for a

If you plan a wedding for a late summer/early fall Saturday I will I will hunt you down. I will find you. And I will kill you.

Most likely I will just see you at the wedding complain and punch you in the balls a few times.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:57 PM
(Reply to #53) #1022
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
I got married

in October, but it was an away game with a noon start and the wedding was at 4:30.  And it was Indiana.  So no harm done.

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
(Reply to #59) #1023
His Dudeness
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: -104
Good on you, but I would

Good on you, but I would still show up drunk. There is a 90% chance i would show up drunk regardless though. Saturdays are for day drinking. I don't have a drinking problem, I have a shitty life solution.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
(Reply to #59) #1024
Hemlock Philosopher
Hemlock Philosopher's picture
Joined: 02/12/2009
MGoPoints: 5015
So what happens when its

So what happens when its anniversary time and it's Michigan versus Sparty? Fall weddings are FAIL.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
(Reply to #68) #1025
Mabel Pines
Mabel Pines's picture
Joined: 10/02/2010
MGoPoints: 27482
I guess I'm not the average wife? not into anniversaries...

I love my team.  We go to see the game.  No questions asked.  

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
(Reply to #79) #1026
Corey
Corey's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 1789
<3

<3

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
(Reply to #68) #1027
MichFan1997
MichFan1997's picture
Joined: 08/04/2008
MGoPoints: 10334
My buddy

is a Notre Dame fan and he got married on the day of UTL. I went to the game, then gave him a bunch of shit about it later.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:52 PM
(Reply to #88) #1028
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
good game

to give him shit about too.

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October 26th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
#1029
MGlobules
Joined: 11/17/2008
MGoPoints: 16433
I'm with Martha,

unofficially, of course. 

EDIT: she does kinda lose sight of where the "tailgate" in tailgate comes from, but I forgive her. Anyone who wants to enliven your football festivities rather than tell you you are exposing your eight-year-old daughter to violence (aherm) is headed in the right direction. 

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:32 PM
(Reply to #58) #1030
cozy200
cozy200's picture
Joined: 01/02/2011
MGoPoints: 2407
Chairs?

Weak

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:03 PM
#1031
MGoBrewMom
MGoBrewMom's picture
Joined: 08/13/2009
MGoPoints: 22503
I just want beer and

Food.. A canopy is nice if its raining. If i feel like getting fancy, I'll make pitchers of beer margaritas or bloody Marys.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
#1032
Bando Calrissian
Bando Calrissian's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 60160
Someone needs to find a scan

Someone needs to find a scan of the brochure Don Canham sent out all over the state in 1969 pitching Michigan season tickets, because if memory serves, it features pictures that are essentially that era's version of Martha Stewart Living.  Canham wanted the women to buy in, and in order to do that, he needed to pitch the fancy tailgate and family fun angle so the husband could go to his football game.

Yes, you read that correctly.  What you know and love as the Michigan football 100k every game, tailgating extravaganza was built on a pitch to women and a full slate of domestic activities (including a football game) on a Saturday afternoon.

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
(Reply to #63) #1033
MichFan1997
MichFan1997's picture
Joined: 08/04/2008
MGoPoints: 10334
So

we need a "Don Canham destroys the past" tag on this blog then is what you're saying?

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:11 PM
(Reply to #63) #1034
Waldorf Wolverine
Waldorf Wolverine's picture
Joined: 07/31/2011
MGoPoints: 319
Different conferences, different traditions

My first tailgate in college (New England, Ivy) consisted of hors d'oeuvres, hamburgers, cloth napkins, sparkling wine, and thermoses of hot buttered rum.  I highly recommend it if you can talk some rich alumni's household staff into catering the tailgate.

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October 27th, 2012 at 1:52 PM
(Reply to #63) #1035
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 42199
Exactly.

Canham popularized tailgating and started selling out the Stadium by appealing to women, not men. There wouldn't be "manly Michigan Tailgates" if not for that.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
#1036
ChuckWood
ChuckWood's picture
Joined: 04/15/2011
MGoPoints: 1997
Unless Martha Stewart has a

Unless Martha Stewart has a large truck in her backyard, a tailgate is simply impossible.  And therefore, discredits her entire "tailgating" strategy.

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
#1037
white_pony_rocks
white_pony_rocks's picture
Joined: 02/16/2009
MGoPoints: 2662
pretty sure it's bocce, but

pretty sure it's bocce, but either way, drunk croquet is an AWESOME tailgating idea (until you try to send somebody's ball flying and hit your ankle cuz youre too drunk)

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October 26th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
#1038
Wisconsin Wolverine
Wisconsin Wolverine's picture
Joined: 05/18/2011
MGoPoints: 2254
I'm afraid you guys might be

I'm afraid you guys might be overlooking the very best part of this article - the comments section.  here's how The South views an 'authentic' tailgate:

"Start talking about the tailgate party the week before. Argue over beers on TU, WED and TH, especially during the ESPN TH game of the week.

Saturday arrives.

8 AM - first of the 50 people who will be at the party arrive. With Cigars. 
810 am - first beer and /or mimosa or bourbon 
900 AM - bourbon and cokes accompany the grilled breakfast items, including large slabs of extra thick bacon, lots of coffee, eggs, sausage and someone's leftover deer meat from hunting the week prior 
1000AM- someone sets up not one but THREE TVs to watch gameday. 
1000 - start the smoker for the 2 boston butts you will grill - each weighs 10 pounds. 
Noon - wife and GFs arrive. clean up breakfast, start preparing for lunch 
1230 - put slabs of ribs on the grill 
100 PM- the uppity guy from the good southern fraternity puts pork loin on the grill. 7 pounder. 
100-300- arguments ensue over ACC quality. GF argues that Duke's WR's could 'torch' WVA's dbacks. Since she went to Alabama she will of course know their names andhometowns.

100-330 - Games commence - beer pong, lots of solo cups, bean bag toss.

DID I MENTION NO ONE EVER MAKES A DAMN QUESADILLA AT A SOUTHERN TAILGATE???

330 CBS game of the week- since it's a SOUTHERN TAILGATE - it will be an SEC game ..with the auxiliary TVs showing Big 12 game and maybe a reigonal SEC tilt.

330-7PM - lots of eating, sides including mac and cheese, home made southern beans, a fried side or three, shots of Crown Royal. Little kids get sent inside since the REAL SOUTHERN TAILGATE HAS STARTED.

 

500-700PM - beer run at halftime, more bourbon, someone you trust has arrived with tequila.

7PM /dark - You are in CT so we here in the south appreciate that it's dark there by 515 pm ... bring out the fire ring, put wood on.

730 PM game- the SEC game is usually at 730 or 8 AND there is a game on a 9 pm ... watch them ALL.

730 - Someone refires up the grill since a guy from Texas A and M has arrived with 5 packs of bratwursts.

9 PM- police arrive, you lower the sound, end the beer pong game.

10 PM- the front yard looks like a tornado hit it. Time to grill dessert- arguments ensue, you start planning the next week.

 

1130 PM - the last of the lightweights has left.

12 midnight- College Football Final is now on, ESPN. Pizzas arrive. Wives leave the inside of the house (the ones from the PAC 12 schools who married SEC grads), and come outside to sit by the fire and eat pizza with left over boston pork butt thrown on slices.

1230-130 - Someone finds an old DVD of (1)a classic rivalry game (2)a spring game (3)It's not the DVD, it's the damn replay of the game we saw at noon!

So you drink some more. ONE person suggests making a quesadilla, so he gets pants'd. Last of the 10 bratwursts are cut up and put on a paper plate, served caviar style to the remaining stalwarts.

130-200 - lights out. Bring TVs in, leave the rest as is til the morning, It can wait, your team has won.

 

there you have it TRUE SOUTHERN TAILGATE.

NO QUESADILLAS. EVER."

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:25 PM
(Reply to #78) #1039
MichFan1997
MichFan1997's picture
Joined: 08/04/2008
MGoPoints: 10334
The last step

where it says "your team has won"...does this mean Auburn fans don't wait till morning to bring the rest of the stuff in?

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October 26th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
#1040
BlueNation
Joined: 02/21/2012
MGoPoints: 472
Yikes

just yikes...

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October 26th, 2012 at 4:54 PM
#1041
phork
phork's picture
Joined: 11/01/2009
MGoPoints: 4486
Who let Martha out of jail in

Who let Martha out of jail in the first place?

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:54 PM
(Reply to #102) #1042
Arrogant MichMan
Joined: 04/10/2011
MGoPoints: 154
Overcrowding and Jerry Sandusky

needs a cell

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October 26th, 2012 at 5:17 PM
#1043
mGrowOld
mGrowOld's picture
Joined: 10/04/2010
MGoPoints: 111690
All I know is that the

All I know is that the quality, quantity and variety of food we serve at our tailgate improved 10 fold once my current wife started attending.  My practice wife hated football and hated the tailgate and never went, much less make anything thereby resulting in boring food choices.   The avatar, on the other hand, LOVES to cook and spends most of Friday making stuff for us to bring.

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October 27th, 2012 at 3:25 AM
(Reply to #109) #1044
CreepAlert
CreepAlert's picture
Joined: 10/27/2012
MGoPoints: 4
Cone of Shame Standings: +1 point

Rationale: Objectification. {see terms "practice wife," "The avatar"}

Suggestions: A wife is a person, and as such should not be described as "practice," nor as "the avatar," which is a representation of an object. Better terms would include: "former wife," and "the woman pictured in my avatar, who also happens to be my current wife," or simply, "my current wife."

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October 26th, 2012 at 6:52 PM
#1045
Mfan1974
Joined: 06/11/2009
MGoPoints: 501
blaze

your just above treading h2o here. Back slowly out of the room and do not return until December 2nd. Shhhhhhhh.

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October 26th, 2012 at 9:25 PM
#1046
Ernis
Ernis's picture
Joined: 09/23/2008
MGoPoints: 2554
The Durrrrty South

This pretty much already is how they tailgate in the South... generic music and all

also

 

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October 26th, 2012 at 10:49 PM
#1047
leu2500
Joined: 01/22/2011
MGoPoints: 1068
Good thing

you didn't see her fishing shanty issue.

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October 27th, 2012 at 12:08 PM
#1048
MDave
MDave's picture
Joined: 05/20/2010
MGoPoints: 427
A bit extreme, but there are

A bit extreme, but there are tons of different ways to put on a tailgate.  To each their own.

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October 27th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
#1049
Muttley
Muttley's picture
Joined: 07/07/2009
MGoPoints: -74969
Martha recommends the "moosh moosh"

What the heck is "moosh moosh"(sp?)

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