Next Coach

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on

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over the last several days, the amount of speculation and confusion regarding who Michigan will hire as the next

head football coach on these very pages has been great
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all of this is misinformation and incorrect assumption
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the smart folks have appealed to THE KNOWLEDGE to reveal the future and deliver them from this uncertainty
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yes
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it is well known that THE KNOWLEDGE is the best source when it comes to coaching search, inasmuch as THE KNOWLEDGE

introduced himself to this blog during the 2007 coach search
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there is a reason THE KNOWLEDGE has remained relatively silent during the current search for reasons that will

become obvious upon a thorough reading of this post
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yes
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many is the number of fools who misunderstood what THE KNOWLEDGE had said in his previous post
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thus, THE KNOWLEDGE can clearly reveal that these assumptions are wrong
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in 2015, Michigan's AD will be David Brandon
in 2015, Michigan's football HC will be Brady Hoke
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yes

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somehow, people (except a smart few) misinterpreted this as THE KNOWLEDGE saying that Brandon and Hoke will remain

at Michigan in 2015
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this level of stupidity is truly mindboggling
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yes
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now, onto the question of the new coach
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if the question where who the best coach for Michigan will be, the answer is obvious
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it is THE KNOWLEDGE
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THE KNOWLEDGE will know what the opposition will do on every play even before they know it. thus, every offensive

snap for Michigan will result in a touchdown for the Wolverines, and every offensive play for the opposition will

result in a loss or interception
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however, THE KNOWLEDGE does more important things to the universe that coach a football team; hence the next best

available coach must be found
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yes
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the people that are laughing at Florida and Nebraska do not understand that those newly hired coaches will, in

fact, create dominant programs at those schools
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can the same be said for Michigan?
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will Michigan hire Harbaugh?
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no
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will Michigan hire Miles?
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no
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will Michigan hire Mullen?
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no
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will Michigan fans be unhappy with the hire?
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yes
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will the unhappiness turn into happiness eventually?
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yes
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Comments

bluebyyou

December 11th, 2014 at 12:16 PM ^

Swami, you need to start over with a new alias.

Resurrect yourself using the newly acclaimed tempero-mandibatory waveform set.  Your cred is a bit on the short side this year.

GoBlueBalls

December 11th, 2014 at 1:29 PM ^

The_Knowledege is hedging again.   "Will unhappiness turn to happiness eventually?"  -  Logically, that must happen. If the hire succeeds, fans will be happy.  If the hire fails, he'll be fired, and fans will be happy.