We have investigated. Due diligence has been done. And we have reached the inescapable conclusion: Scott Shafer plays that one guy on Heroes.
Here is a picture of that guy from Heroes.
http://www.derok.net/images/entertainment/heroes%20jack%20coleman.jpg (pic of Heroes guy)
Here is a picture of Scott Shafer.
http://vmedia.rivals.com/uploads/883/591128.jpg (pic of Scott)
More evidence: Our defense sucked this year. Does this make any sense? Yes, if your defensive coordinator is moonlighting as an actor on an NBC TV show.
Even further evidence: Heroes also sucks. Really. I tried watching it once, and people's heads were getting sawed open. Seriously! No, I didn't watch after that.
Some hope for the Michigan defense next year: Heroes retooled this year by adding some Villains. Similarly, Michigan just added a guy they sometimes call "Vlad the Impaler". You can see where I am going here. The only problem: Heroes is tanking; see this page http://www.tv.com/story/11705.html. Thus, maybe we need to get more creative. Or hire some people from ABC or Fox. Have you seen Jack Bauer lately?
And Brian, can we get some help here on formatting? For god's sake, I just want to write the darn HTML myself. Instead the big help link below tells me that web page addresses are automatically turned into links. Help!
One final thought about the defense: There is a way not to suck. You see, "Jack Coleman", who is supposedly a different person than Scott Shafer, played one other major role on nighttime TV. You might remember him as Steve Carrington. The show was a hit. And the name of that show? Dynasty.
That's right, Dynasty, motherfuckers. Here we come!