this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
Unverified Voracity: Dragon Up Edition
All in one place. Bevo Sports has collected the various preseason top 25s in one large table for your viewing convenience.
Offensive line fears: assuaged. I remember the days of yore when you would come home from class with an hour to kill and watch something along the lines of "Bear In The Big Blue House" because, hey, it was college and you were going to live forever. Something similar must have happened in the life of the reader who notified me of the existence of Disney's "American Dragon":
Dragon up! Jake Long is your average 13-year-old kid who just happens to be a powerful and magical dragon! While learning to master his mad dragon skills (with the help of Grandpa and Fu Dog), it's Jake's destiny to protect all the magical creatures in New York from some seriously bad dudes.
(If you're wondering, Fu Dog is "a 600-year-old talking dog, and Jake's official animal guardian.") If you go to the character page and mouse over Jake you get to hear him exclaim "Y'all see me represent!" If you're thinking to yourself "boy, I bet MGoBlog pile-drives 'Dragon Up!' and 'Y'all see me represent' into the ground over the next sixth months," you know me all too well. As said reader -- name unspecified by probably somethng along the lines of "N---- Acasto" -- put it:
How can analysts say that our offensive line is questionable this season when our left tackle is a skateboarding, crime-fighting, fire-breathing mythical creature?
Projected series duration: six episodes. In the meantime, anyone need some IM icons?
Projected league duration: six games. You've probably heard about this minor-league NFL thing that will play on the campuses of collegiate teams by now. I was torn on whether the idea is a good one or not: I'd probably go see Marquise Walker play but not Cato June (what's that you say, Cato June is a pro-bowl NFL linebacker? Pshaw), but when SMQB dubbed the thing "the Hula Bowl League" that clarified things. Do I watch the Hula Bowl? No. Does it take ten seconds after hearing the words "Hula Bowl" to remember what, in fact, the Hula Bowl is? Yes.
A Notre Dame preview... is not coming from me, as I still have five Big Ten teams and Indiana (ha!) to go. Lo siento. Maize 'n' Brew's opponent-by-opponent preview has just reached ND if you need to know all about the Irish.
SMQB has previewed Penn State and projected 7-5; annoyed PSU fans can now storm over there.
Phil Hellmuth: prepare to meet the rail. Until Saturday.