this might actually be the stupidest thing I've ever written about

WE CLAIM THIS FIELD IN THE NAME OF COMMITMENT AND HARD-TO-SEE OBJECTS

This is a real thing.

October 26, 2014

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Below is a statement from University of Michigan head football coach Brady Hoke:

“I want to publicly apologize to Coach Dantonio as well as the players and supporters of Michigan State for our act of poor sportsmanship displayed pre-game yesterday. I spoke with Mark earlier today and expressed to him that we meant no disrespect to his team. During our regular Friday night team meeting, one of the topics presented to motivate our team was a history lesson addressing commitment and teamwork in a tough environment. A tent stake was presented to the team as a symbol of this concept. The stake was brought into our locker room as a visual reminder, and one of our team leaders chose to take it out on the field. As the leader of our football program, I take full responsibility for the actions of our team. We believe in displaying a high level of respect at the University of Michigan and unfortunately that was not reflected by this action prior to kickoff.”

We're very sorry a thing meant to be driven into a field was driven into your field.