Niko Porikos grew up in an NTDP billet home. Cool story.
We will now attempt to answer your questions (last updated: July 17 by Seth).
What's the latest?
DUOs accidentally got an extra copy. Due to a mix-up with our fulfillment people, who tried to speed along the process, 181 "DUO" backers got a signed copy in addition to the two from your order. Since they didn't de-dupe either, some of you got two signed books. We can't really walk this back, so enjoy. If you feel strongly that you should pay this back (you don't have to pay this back), buy something from the MGoStore, or put $19.85 into Beveled Guilt. If you think you should pay this forward, put $20 toward your charity of choice.
Shirt level and above: Your second book is SIGNED. If you chose a $50+ option on the Kickstarter, you should have been among the first receive your first copies. Your second copy is a signed by Brian and will ship with your shirt.
T-shirts are now being printed. They'll be in the mail with your signed copies over the next few weeks. People who chose this year's shirt go first since that's most of you.
Your Kickstarter copy should have come. If you backed the Kickstarter and got us your address before 6/30 you should have any unsigned copy already. If you don't by Monday, email me.
If your inbox is filled with requests for your address you should send me that. As of last count we're down to 18 people who haven't done so. I'll bug you one more time in a few weeks and then I'll take the hint.
ANSWERS TO FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
I missed the Kickstarter can I buy a book?
Yes! Current options:
|The Book (Printed)||Kindle Edition||Digital Edition (PDF)|
|(Draft Kings Deal)||(please review)||(Draft Kings Deal)|
not to scale
I have a writeup on these options here. They will be available in stores too but not many because we have no newstand distribution (we would welcome newsstand distribution).
Where's my stuff?
[Just hit the jump.]
If you're new to this site or the boards use this page to familiarize yourself with some of the site-specific terms thrown around here (we'll try to limit these on front page content). I broke these off from the FAQ because the list had grown too long to be valuable there.
27 for 27 When Fitzgerald Toussaint ran for 27 yards on 27 carries against Penn State in the dumbest football game ever played.
AIRBHG Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God. The most wrathful position-hating god in the pantheon, inspired by Angry Michigan Safety Hating God.
Big Daddy They're not little brother anymore.
Bolivia Board jargon for banned poster, from "negged to bolivian," meaning oblivion.
Brady Hoke's Pet Viking Former All American center Steve Everitt, who stands behind Brady Hoke and looks like a viking. Also wears MGoShirts.
BRI Bo Ryan Index: the percentage of photos in the first three rows of that person's Google image search in which they look enraged, incredulous, furious, or are expressing something otherwise unpleasant.
Bo Ryan's BRI is 94%
Buckle Up A commitment is impending.
CC Coaching change. Message board header prefix during coaching searches.
Cooler Poopers If you don't get it, take the literal meaning and add Ohio State tailgaters. Origin.
Crimes Against Manpanda Running MANBALL ISOs from the I-formation to no or negative effect when you have the world's greatest running QB on your roster. Origin: 2011 disaster vs. Iowa.
Cumong. "Come on!" with gusto.
(The) Daves The 2002 offensive line (Pearson, Baas & Petruziello), or any nondescript group of maulers from the '90s and aughts.
Dennis Bergkamp! Once upon a time in 2010 this one quarterback busted out for 78 yards for a touchdown. Because American Football Commentators are Boring, the preferred method for reliving this moment is set to a Dutch guy calling a Bergkamp goal.
Dog Groomers The nine-to-five occupation of the people who wrote "In the Big House" despite the presence of a perfectly good band.
Donkeys / Hating donkeys. Donkeys are defensive ends/linebackers/etc. Donkey hate is a kind of burro abuse practiced by excellent offensive linemen.
Facepalm Guy. When the camera panned the student section in UTL1 for an instant react, this fan gave the camera man a no-no-no.
FAKE! All 40 times are fake.
Football Armageddon The 2006 Michigan-Ohio State game.
Fusion Cuisine Originally Al Borges-Denard Fusion Cuisine, but since expanded to refer to any mismatches between coordinator style/player archetypes.
Game...blouses Remember that Chappelle Show skit where Charlie Murphy recalls a pickup basketball game versus Prince and the Revolution, and Prince hangs on the rim and says... It reminds us of Stauskas.
GERG Term for incompetent person named Greg. Usually Greg Robinson, Michigan's defensive coordinator in 2009-'10, or his Iowa offensive coordinating alterego Greg Davis.
Get Off My Lawn I have been cultivating every blade since 1969 and I'll be hognozzled if some young whippersnappers show the unmitigated gall to trample it like a Buckeye on a banner. What you don't remember that either? /throws up hands.
(The) Happening Nickname for the coaching "search" of 2014 that netted Harbaugh, from the constant "It's Happening!" memes throughout that process (see The Process)
Hennechart Passing chart in Upon Further Review. MGoBlog's system for charting quarterback play, named for the first man to be charted. Abbreviation explanations can be found here.
Henri the Otter of Ennui An otter with a French name that rhymes with the proper pronunciation of ennui. Henri appears when the numbness sets in. Origin.
(The) Horror Think of something so horrifying that could happen to Michigan football that it would thereafter only be referred to as "The Horror." Think of the first thing that an enemy fan will use when they want to give a Michigan fan a taste of what hell must be like. That's "The Horror." Now stop thinking about that and think about how adorable kittens can be. Soooo adorable!
HOWEVA Stephen A. Smith reference; if you don't know, be thankful.
IANAJTTP I am not a journalist, that's the point.
JMFJ Jack Mother [Effing] Johnson. Variant: JMFR for Jake Ryan.
Lloyd Brady A fan with a distinctive bowl cut who always seems to be captured by the TV cameras in the front row, and is usually pretty happy looking.
Manbearfreak Carson Butler. A commenter or two still refers to Butler as "manbearfreak" or "MBF," which was confusing even to me until I looked it up. A conflation of "Manbearpig" from South Park and "freak," generally used to describe any unusually athletic specimen who plays football. Appears exactly once in the vast and multifarious MGoBlog archives:
Carson Butler. Manbearfreak.
Manball Manblocking and power running offense concepts predicated on pushing the defense out of the way to create lanes.
MANBALL (see Crimes Against Manpanda)
Miami (Yes That Miami) or Miami (YTM) the University of Miami in Florida is That Miami.
Miami (NTM) (Not That Miami), Miami University in Oxford, Ohio.
MIKE (verb) Cardinal rule of pass blocking assignments. Always MIKE before you hike.
M00N How the scoreboard read for most of the 2014 Michigan-Northwestern game:
Monkey Rodeo An animated gif of monkey cowboys riding dogs, favored by livebloggers.
Mr. Plow Justin Boren, who was incensed that Rich Rodriguez wouldn't let him go back home on the weekends to help out with his dad's snowplow business. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
Muppets After important victories MGoBlog posts the Muppet Glee Club versions of "Temptation" and "Hawaiian War Chant", the two songs the band plays after wins.
Nachoshorts See Tacopants
Negbang Board jargon for excessive downvoting (antonym: "Posbang"). A person who posts an unpopular comment on the board and receives 50 negative votes or more can be said to be "Negbanged."
Never Forget … the erstwhile defensive backs of 2009-2010. Usually posted with the official banner:
(The) New Math Nickname for Mario Manningham. Comes from post conveniently titled "The New Math" after the 2005 Penn State game. General implication is that 86 == 1 and Manningham is unpossible.
NSFMF Not so fast, my friend.
(NTM) or (YTM) or (NT[any letter/s]): See Miami (Yes That Miami)
NTTAWWT Not that there's anything wrong with that.
(nv) Nisi Vanderbiltum, a Latin shorthand for excluding Vanderbilt from blanket statements made about the SEC. Coined by Seth.
Oakland is Still in Play for Jim Harbaugh because no amount of evidence will convince NFL beat writers a marketable pro head coach would take a college job.
OHIO! Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. In caps and punctuated to differentiate from how Brady Hoke referred to Ohio State.
OMG Shirtless Sometime during the 2005 recruiting year I received a number of hits for "Tim Tebow shirtless." At that point Tebow was a heavily pursued quarterback recruit and not Chris Leak's china-destroying sidekick. I endeavored to help this lonely, lonely person but could only find a picture of Tebow in a basketball jersey. Thus was born the Shirt Scale of recruiting rankings; these days it's about 50-50 as to whether or not a panting reference to a five-star freakystud gets tagged as shirtless, depending on whim.
OT Off topic. Used in message board headers to denote something not related to Michigan sports, Big Ten, relevant college athletics, or University of Michigan/Ann Arbor things.
Poor Damn Toussaint or Poor Damn [name] because we couldn't tell how good he is from the pile of nobody blocking around him. See 27 for 27.
Posbang see Negbang
(The) Process Dave Brandon's buzzword for why we needed seven weeks (OSU game to mid-January) of reveling in the Glory of Dave Brandon before firing the obviously fired Rodriguez and hiring the only guy Brandon ever considered whom he could have hired any time.
Rapture Guy Basketball fan who reached pinnacle of human capacity for happiness.
Rock. See RPS
RPS Rock, Paper, Scissors. UFR phrasing for what coordinators do against each other with play calling. Mike DeBord believed anything could be defeated by proper execution of rock. Good ol' rock.
SIAP Sorry if already posted. Message board header that shouldn't exist because if you posted something you have already diligently checked to see if someone else did so already.
Snowflakes Board header prefix for hot takes. We are all unique and special, like snowflakes, thus all of our special snowflake thoughts are unique and special and belong in Snowflakes threads.
Special K Kenny Fisher from Can't Hardly Wait, who graduated with a degree in having sex from UCLA and now makes music selections to pump out at Michigan home games, with consultation from Pepsi.
StAEE Their football team may be Big Daddy (see Big Daddy) but if there's one fanbase you would guess could misspell their own name when vandalizing a car...
Swampball A swampy game played by an angry, legalistic species of sentient bug people on a planet near Rigel. Virtually indistinguishable from Wisconsin basketball under Bo Ryan (origin).
Tacopants is Jason Avant's eleven-foot tall imaginary friend. Chad Henne spent much of 2005 hitting him between the numbers, which are unfortunately eight feet off the ground and made of dreams. Blessed with infinite eligibility and the ability to sneak on and off the field without alerting the referees -- made of dreams, remember -- Tacopants has taken a lesser role in the offense as Henne matures but still pops up at inopportune times. The term has its genesis in this post. Cousin Nachoshorts is three apples high and yet still too tall to grab turfed Steven Threet screen passes.
UFR or Upon Further Review The painstaking play-by-play analysis of offensive and defensive performance after football games. A database of past UFRs is available in the User HoF.
Uniformz Alternate uniforms, not good ones.
Unverified Voracity Voracity is a weird word to come after "unverified," especially when dealing with a sports blog and not, say, a blog about rumored hunger. The deal: back when the sporadic link-filled posts were untitled, some Iowa sportswriter penned what was to the the first in a long line of intemperate columns ragging on blogs for having the audacity to not be written by sportswriters. Unfortunately for that sportswriter, she inserted the following sentence:
In the new "journalism of assertion," as the report calls it, information is offered with little time and little attempt to independently verify its voracity. [sic]
Sarcasm being what it is, UV was born shortly after.
We Had Subs, It Was Crazy. Beilein endearingly describing the chaos of two grandkids' birthdays in two days between the Elite 8 and Final 4 weekends in 2013. Became a handy bit of nonsense to yell when this occurred:
Win the Game! Mitch McGary's sage advice for beating MSU.
(The) Year of Infinite Pain is 2005, a time before we knew what pain was.
YMRMFSPA You may remember me from such players as. Used in recruiting profiles to say what kind of player a recruit may turn out to be if he works out.
(YTM) or (NTM) or (NT[any letter/s]): See Miami (YTM)
Basics for people who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, buddy, when I do UFRs. Endeavoring to have this heavily linked in them for future usefulness.
What's a "technique"? What's a one-tech, three-tech? What the hell are you talking about, buddy?
"Techniques" refer to where defensive linemen line up relative to the offensive line. As with all good indexing systems, it starts with zero, which is head-up over the center, and increases the farther you get away from the center. Helpful diagram:
Basically: 1-tech = 4-3 nose tackle, 3-tech = 4-3 defensive tackle, 0-tech = 3-4 style 350 pound space eater nose tackle.
What's the difference between strongside, weakside, playside, and backside?
Strongside and weakside are pretty self-explanatory: if there's a tight end (or two) in the game or an offset H-back/fullback, the side with more players on it is the strongside and the other side is the weakside.
Here, the strongside is to the top of the screen as that's where Kevin Koger is aligned. Some formations don't have a strong or weak side.
Playside is basically the direction the play is run in, and is important on stretch plays mostly. If the offense is running to the right, the right is the playside and the left is the backside. These terms usually get mentioned in the following ways:
- The "backside" defensive end is the player who doesn't get blocked by the defense and is instead read by the quarterback.
- I'll often refer to a good block by an interior lineman, usually the center, as sealing a guy "lined up playside of him". What this means is that the defender lined up outside of the OL—closer to the area where the running back will attempt to cut the ball up—and still sealed him away.
- Other blocks will be described as an OL "getting playside" or failing to do the same, which basically means the OL gets between the DL and his attempt to flow down the line of scrimmage and tackle as the back cuts up.
What is cover one, two, three, zero?
Cover X describes how many players are playing in a deep zone. Here's a look at a conservative cover three out of the 3-3-5 stack:
And here's a cover two out of a 4-3:
Higher X means a more conservative pass defense and more holes open underneath as more defenders are dedicated to the deep area of the field. Note that cover two usually has two deep safeties on the hashes and cover 1 or 3 usually makes do with one, using the other safety in a shorter zone or as a run defender or blitzer.
There's also a variation of cover three called "quarter-quarter-halves" where there are three deep defenders but one is tasked with half the field and the other two split the other half. This is usually a response to formations with lots of receivers on one side of the field.
What's this route you named?
- Flare: running back originally lined up in the backfield runs mostly parallel to the LOS and receives a pass behind said LOS.
- Flat: usually a slot receiver or TE but can also be a fullback or RB. Basically a really short out route that attempts to exploit cover three, which usually doesn't have defenders out there. Example.
- Out: player runs some distance downfield and then takes a hard 90 degree cut to the sideline.
- In: player runs some distance downfield and takes a hard 90 degree cut to the middle of the field.
- Drag: TE or slot receiver drags across the field maybe a yard to three downfield. Usually a checkdown that comes open late if it does at all.
- Slant: Outside WR runs diagonally up the field into an area that should be good against either man or zone coverage. Usually a short route good for 6-8 yards.
- Fly: also "go": receiver runs as fast as he can straight down the field.
- Seam: basically a fly route run by an interior receiver. Called a seam because usually there are deep middle safeties and the quarterback has to find the seam in the zone between the linebackers and said safeties.
- Post: variant of fly where after 10-20 yards, depending on the coverage, the receiver breaks his go route to the inside at a 30-45 degree angle.
- Corner: A post that breaks to the outside, usually run by slots or tight ends.
- Circle: route with an inside feint on which the receiver comes to a stop and then breaks to an out. This usually results in something of a circular path. Michigan won the Notre Dame game with one. Example.
- Wheel. Running back hauls ass out of the backfield, running what looks at first like a flare route before turning it up as he nears the sideline to attack areas a wide receiver has already dragged through to clear out a zone. Example.
- Bubble screen. Slot receiver runs parallel to the line of scrimmage in an effort to get behind the block of the outside receiver and spring downfield for 6-10 yards.
Comment or email for expansions.
DO: "Dead on." Generally reserved for impressive throws above and beyond the call of duty. Examples:
- A bomb that hits a guy in stride.
- A fifteen-yard cross into a zone with only a narrow window between defenders.
- A useful completion in the face of heavy pressure that would normally be an incompletion.
Generally any throw that can be thrown on a three-step-drop (slants, quick outs, screens of all varieties) is going to receive a "CA" at most.
CA: "Catchable." Run of the mill accurate throws. Encompasses a rather wide range from perfectly thrown short throws to downfield stuff that's a bit off but still feasible to catch. There's a subset of throws that live on the CA/IN boundary, which are...
MA: "Marginal." A slant that takes a guy off his feet, or a seam that is way behind a guy but catchable, or a deep ball that is way short but is a jump-ball situation. These are iffy throws that are still capable of gaining yardage... just not as much as they should.
IN: "Inaccurate." Passes that are plain uncatchable but for extraordinary intervention on the part of the wide receiver. All passes destined for Tacopants, Jason Avant's invisible 11-foot-tall imaginary friend, end up here. Completions can show up here if they're relatively simple throws that require a receiver to make a circus catch. Screens that have their timing disrupted because of a quarterback error also show here, as do open three-yard TE outs that would go for first down but for a late throw. If that should ever occur.
BR: "Bad Read." The grand bull-moose category of quarterback errors, these are throws that should not have been made due to excellent coverage, a lack of awareness of the situation, or inability to locate an open receiver.
UPDATE: Lately, I've started calling things "BRX" for XTREME. These don't get filed separately and are just for discussion of QB performance.
TA: "Throwaway." Passes which are not intended to be caught since the quarterback can find no one open. If the QB clearly has an open receiver that he did not find, these throws are usually slotted in the "Bad Read" category, though they're venial sins compared to throws into coverage. Due to the limitations of television coverage this reclassification is rare, but when there are a lot of these despite the quarterback having good time an eyebrow is officially cocked.
BA: "Batted." Balls which are deflected at the LOS. These are generally regarded as fluke occurences and are not held against the quarterback.
PR: "Pressure." Instances where the quarterback is snowed under before he has an opportunity to make a throw. If he hesitates and does not throw despite being given time, that's either BR or TA. PR is reserved for plays that are blown up because of pass rush, not coverage.
SCR: "Scramble." Instances where a quarterback sees a bunch of running room and takes off to good effect. Usually this has to be an obviously good idea--pick up the first, get eight yards on first down--for it to get filed here. Running for three yards on third and eight will get filed under TA.