exoskeleton jetpack

Just havin' a normal day you guys. Just hanging out, having a day.

Hoke says Michigan will have an open scrimmage ... To the public ... at Michigan Stadium on Aug. 16

— Nick Baumgardner (@nickbaumgardner) August 6, 2014

Oh no you guys! It finally happened. Brady Hoke has been replaced by a shapeshifting alien. I told you all that this day would come and all you guys ever said was "that is ridiculous and will never happen" WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW

Nobody. This is a crisis. Does anyone have, like, an ablative jetpack exoskeleton I can borrow? Something like this:

Except with more weapons probably.