spring games that are kind of mean

Previously: offense.

A word about format

This seems to happen in year three or four every time: after a brief introductory burst of spring game optimism the thing degrades until it's the barely-tolerated Lloyd-era relic. Remember Harbaugh's first spring game? The one that came down to a contested two-point conversion that got reviewed on the scoreboard?

…the white team poured onto the field like they'd just won the Super Bowl and blue team coach Chris Partridge roared off the sideline to have a Harbaugh-level conniption fit at the ref.

A couple other coaches reacted similarly, if not as dramatically, as Partridge; the white team organized at midfield for a photo. Wyatt Shallman headbanged like there was no tomorrow. Drake Johnson collapsed in a heap.

I tweeted to Ace that he should title the recap "Controversial finish mars Spring Game ending,"* because that was funny. It's only funny because it's kind of true.

This is a different thing now. Last year's team was good but it was still caught between being a program that apologizes for a tent stake and a program whose DGAF levels are off the charts. Judging from the reactions of everyone involved on both sides, the all-competition-all-the-time ethos has sunk in. That more than anything else makes me anticipate the upcoming season.

There were rappists! We got pictures of them:

My rap name is Medium Wayne. Dunno what this guy's rap name is. Steve? [Eric Upchurch]

This year we kicked off with 20 minutes of drills. There was a 12 minute halftime in which nothing happened. Score was not kept. I don't know how it ended because after three hours and change I saw Not Cade McNamara come out and decided that I'd had all the data I was going to get. Last year's spring game was flat-out cancelled instead of being moved a day or a week.

I'm pretty used to Michigan football going out of its way to be unfriendly to its fans but… yikes. When your spring game is untelevisable that says something. Do you know the things they put on TV these days? There's a show called "God Friended Me"! They'll put anything on. But not Michigan's spring game type substance.

Long way from the early days of Harbaugh to this place where douchy guys buy messages to fly over the stadium. And find some way to televise hockey FFS.

[After THE JUMP: I have concerns]