Opponent Watch: Week 3 (Overreaction Edition)

Opponent Watch: Week 3 (Overreaction Edition)

Submitted by BiSB on September 19th, 2013 at 11:18 AM

About Last Saturday:

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Upcoming Opponents

UConn (0-2, 0-0 AAC)

Mose Fear_thumb[1]

Last game: Maryland 32, UConn 21 (L)

Recap: Mighty UConn put up a valiant effort against the cowardly and unwashed Maryland Turtle-People, but were undercut by intrigue, sedition, and the damn refs. According to the propaganda released by the Maryland-controlled Pravda that is the “Associated Press,” Maryland outgained UConn 501-383. While giving credit to the Huskies for 349 yards passing, they claim that they were held to 34 yards rushing on 33 attempts. This is a lie, as with my own eyes I saw UConn break several long and impressive scoring runs to which the scoreboard operator turned a blind eye.

Verily, once the truth is known and justice is permitted to prevail over deceitful treachery, this team is poised for a glorious emergence. Woe be unto the team that must face this juggernaut at this moment in history.

This team is as frightening as: The all-consuming terror mined from the deepest pits of hell; the dredging up of fears long-since dismissed as figments of a scarred past. We had thought the capacity for such nightmares had been smoothed over by time and the advancement of civilization, only to learn that it was simply masked by a thin veneer, waiting to re-emerge. And while the pantries are not yet empty, the hunger pangs remind us all that we are never more than nine meals away from anarchy. Fear level = 10

Michigan should worry about: Pasqualoni to right of them/ Pasqualoni to left of them / Pasqualoni in front of them / Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with run and pass / For last week they played like ass /Into the jaws of Rentschler Field / Into the mouth of Hell / Rode the seventy

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Nessun Dorma.

When they play Michigan: Michigan is about an 18-point favorite.

Next game: vs. #15 Michigan

[AFTER THE JUMP: So much to fear. And Iowa]