i can't wait to show clients how much money i have to waste
Staring Al Pacino as Denard Robinson in a passionate appeal to a segment of the Michigan fandom:
Michigan Men: Coach Rodriguez, you are a snake oil salesman and you are a loser.
D-Rob: But not a bitch.
Michigan Men: Excuse me?
D-Rob: No, I don't think I will.
Michigan Men: Mr. Robinson.
D-Rob: This is such a crock of shit.
Michigan Men: Please watch your language, Mr. Robinson. You are in the University of Michigan not the Warp Drive of the Enterprise. Coach Rodriguez, I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.
D-Rob: Coach Rodriguez doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled: "Still worthy of being a 'Michigan Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? "Coaches, teach the sort of football Bo taught" -- anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake? Well, gentlemen, when the shit hits the fan some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Richrod facing the fire; and there's Harbaugh hidin' in big Stanford's pocket. And what are you doin'? You're gonna reward Jim and destroy Rich.
Michigan Men: Are you finished, Mr. Robinson?
D-Rob: No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. I don't know who went to this place, Gerald Ford, Carlson Butler, Gerard Butler -- whoever. Their spirit is dead -- if they ever had one -- it's gone. You're building another Nebraska here. A vessel a decade of failure. And if you think your preparing these coaches and players to win championships you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills! What a sham. What kind of a show are you guys puttin' on here today. I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I'm here to tell ya this coach's soul is intact. It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? Terrelle Pryor wanted a car. Only Coach Rodriguez here wasn't buyin', so Pryor went to Tressel.
Michigan Men: Sir, you are out of order!
D-Rob: Outta order? I'll show you outta order! You don't know what outta order is! I'd show you but I'm too fast; I'm too strong; I'm going to win too much. If I were the football player I was a year ago I'd take a FLAME-THROWER to this place, fumble a snap and score a touchdown! Outta order. Who the hell you think you're talkin' to? Light moves slows compared to me. I've been around you know? (The world, that is) There was a time when I had to run around the earth to travel back through time. And I have seen coaches like these, younger than these, their hair torn out, their spread schemes ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of a fired Michigan coach; there is no cure for that. You think you're merely sendin' this splendid coach back home to West Virginia with his tail between his legs, but I say you are executin' his SOUL!! And why?! Because he's not a Michigan man! Michigan men, ya hurt this coach, you're going to be Michigan Bums, the lot of ya. And NCAA, Tressel, OSU, wherever you are out there, FUCK YOU too!
Michigan Men: Stand down, Mr. Robinson!
D-Rob: I'm not finished! As I came in here, I heard those words, "Leaders and the best." Well, when the bowl streak breaks, the fair weather fans will fall. And they have fallen here; they're jerks. Makers of champions; creators of leaders; be careful what kind of leaders you're producin' here. I don't know if Rich's coaching here is right or wrong. I'm not a coach. But I can tell you this: he won't oversign players to buy his future!! And that, my friends, is called integrity! That's called courage! Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. Last year I came to the crossroads in my life. I knew what the right path was - shredding offenses. Without exception, I knew. But I didn't take it. You know why? It was too easy. Here's Coach Rodriguez. He's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path. It's the right path. It's a path made of speed -- that leads to championships. Let him continue on his journey.
You hold this coach's future in your hands, Michigan fans. It's a valuable future. Believe me. Don't destroy it! Protect it. Embrace it. It's gonna make ya proud one day -- I promise you.
I take no credit for any of the film used in the video, just the video itself. Thanks to all those who helped create these clips to be used in the video. Go Blue!