lolme

UPDATE: ABORT. REPEAT: ABORT PANIC. RESUME YOUR DAY TO DAY LIVES. CEASE HOARDING CLIF BARS. REMOVE NEIGHBOR'S DOG FROM OVEN.

Finally something from twitter other than players complaining about how lame the party they're at is:

Presumably this means there will be new road jerseys because changing the home ones would cause frogs to rain from the sky and the Huron River to run red with blood. I can't wait for the piping/bib controversy that will engulf the month of July. What will it be this time?

Guesses:

1. Numbers will be replaced with hieroglyphs depicting wolverines in various states of repose, anger, and triumph.
2. The pants will contain a legend for the hieroglyphs…
3. …and a treasure map!
4. Bamboo socks.
5. One shoulder will have epaulets.

I expect the paint crew will have mockups of potential new jerseys ("it's a cross between the Wild's third jerseys and Barcelona!") in short order. Then we have only to wait to see how tearfully accurate our sarcastic exaggerations are. Come, Armageddon, come.