2011 western michigan

9/3/2011 – Michigan 34, Western Michigan 10 – 0.75-0

Melanie Maxwell / AnnArbor.com

Q: What is awesome about the above photograph?

A: Brady Hoke's Joe Paterno impression. Look, ma, no headset.

On a day that lacked much in the way of emotional import—Brock Mealer did not touch the banner, Denard Robinson did not introduce himself by plunging from the heavens, mostly I felt hot or wet—the thing to do was read too much into the future of Michigan football based on little. We're going on even less than the rest of college football is after their opening-weekend bludgeonings since Mother Nature and inflexible regulation prevented a full game from being played. Things are fuzzy.

They'll remain that way for most of the season. Hell, they'll remain that way until Michigan's OL/DL depth chart crisis passes in two to three years. But I got the things I wanted the most, the things I spent large sections of the offseason hoping for, arguing would be true, or declaring to be the only sane thing a sane person could do.

Those were:

BRADY HOKE IS NOT RICH RODRIGUEZ IN RE: COORDINATOR MEDDLING

Rodriguez's problem was never his selection of defensive coordinators, it was his refusal to trust them to do their jobs. The thing about Hoke is this: he does. At SDSU he hired Rocky Long to run a 3-3-5; Rocky Long ran a 3-3-5, and it was pretty good, and now he's the head coach. He hired Al Borges to run a passing-oriented West Coast offense; Borges ran a passing-oriented West Coast offense that wasn't quite as good as Michigan's in FEI's eyes but was still top 20. If he "gets" anything it's that he's a former defensive lineman with a narrowly defined set of assets that does not include being a genius of any variety—he's never been a coordinator. So he's hired two guys with very long, very successful resumes to do that stuff for him.

PRO STYLE IS INSANE STYLE

Switching to an actual pro-style offense would be doing exactly what Michigan did last year when it installed the 3-3-5 despite the total unsuitability of its personnel for the scheme.

DON'T FRIGGIN TOUCH ANYTHING OR I'LL CUT YOU

MOAR SHOTGUN PLZ

Check, check, good enough. Michigan was 70% shotgun.

The offseason was spent exploring the a disconnect between Brady Hoke's words and his teams' actions. The fear was that This being Michigan, for God's sake, would change his attitude from "whatever works" to "the expectation is for the position." That latter was the infamous Carr-era slogan that symbolized a stubborn adherence to out-executing the opposition. It led to things like a thousand Mike Hart zone stretches where he made four yards only after dodging guys in the backfield. I really, really did not want to go back to the days when Michigan's running plays could be described as "left" or "right."

Brady Hoke's words said the first play Saturday would be power; Brady Hoke's team ran the QB stretch that was amongst the most frequent playcalls a year ago. As the game progressed it was clear there had been quite a few modifications. It was also clear that there was enough of the Denard offense in there to go to it when Michigan needs to.

This would have been obvious to all if Denard hadn't chucked a QB Oh Noes well behind Drew Dileo on Michigan's final touchdown drive. If that's accurate Dileo scores on a play eerily similar to those of last year and everyone except Craig James is talking about how different the offense isn't.

That's good right now, and better down the road. It's been a long time since Michigan fans could say their head coach hired the best people for the job and let them get on with it.

Non-Bullets Not About Football

Brady Hoke knew this would happen. On the way back to the locker room his team speared themselves some dinner.

Increment the Grimsrud meter. Last year when Michigan decided that terrorists were likely to explode the stadium with sealed, clear bottles of water, everyone complained until David Brandon rolled his eyes and offered the plebes a freebie for the opener because it was hot.

On Saturday it was ninety degrees and you could buy a not-even-cold bottle of water for four bucks, get a complimentary three-ounce dixie cup, or hit up the Absopure stations. At least until they ran out:

Connor Dean, a Michigan student working at one of the Absopure Hydration stations at the stadium, said his station had exhausted nearly its entire 450-gallon supply of water by halftime.

Dean said a hydration station would typically go through about 225 gallons of water for an entire game. “This is crazy for a normal game,” Dean said.

The athletic department got lucky as hell that the skies opened up shortly afterwards. Even as it was the number of people conking out because of the heat overwhelmed Huron Valley Ambulance:

With temperatures on the field reportedly reaching 120 degrees, the heat overwhelmed fans at Michigan Stadium. Huron Valley Ambulance says the high number of heat-related cases it handled caused it to call for backup from the Ann Arbor Fire Department.

HVA officials said a count of the number of fans who've been treated for heat-related concerns would not be available until later Saturday, and they were too busy to provide even an estimate.

"It's extremely busy at Michigan Stadium,'' said Terry Pappas, communications supervisor for HVA. "We have multiple heat-related incidents and the Ann Arbor Fire Department is helping.''

If it's really about safety, the Absopure stations should be handing out 25-ounce bottles of water that cost ten cents instead of providing little cups you have to wait for and can't get back to your seats effectively.  The athletic department's horseshit doublespeak about safety and convenience increased those issues so they could hawk some extra bottles of water. They're using 9/11 as cover. That's appalling.

Apparently posting We Are ND was the right idea for the wrong reasons. We have officially Freekbass'd ourselves, as the Dog Groomers' song was played three times to amaze and delight people who would rather hear these guys…

we are… DOG GROOMERS
we will… SHAVE YOUR DOG'S HAIR INTO A PLEASING SHAPE
also we have a band!

…than the Michigan Marching Band.

We're worse. While they've got a rapping hobbit, We Are ND was an internet-only phenomenon quickly clarified as a student project. It aired once at some banquet or something. We're playing music from The Best of Hot Topic in the stadium. This is the inevitable result when middle-aged middle-managers from Middle America try to be cool: massive failure.

What was so bad about a guy in the band beating out a steady rhythm as the crowd chants "Let's Go Blue"? Why does "This is Michigan, for God's sake" apply to running power off-tackle but not keeping the stadium atmosphere intact? Is there someone in the athletic department who really wishes he was running a regional arena in Charlotte, NC, with an ECHL team and regular WWE visits? Why does the guy on the left still look like an accountant? Who is the guy on the right kidding? Is the bald guy in the middle just photobombing this shot? I fear these questions are unanswerable.

In the spirit of ND Nation banning "Michigan sucks" posts, I will end taunting ND about We Are ND until piped in music is excised from the stadium. We are We Are ND.   

Meanwhile, our band is metal. Western's band said "screw this" and showed up in white T-shirts and shorts so they wouldn't die. Ten of them still had to be treated for heat issues. Michigan's band roared out of the tunnel in full dark-blue regalia; while we don't have casualty numbers for them the mere fact that none of them died before completing the anthem is metal. One firehorse for the band.

Analogy to mandatory minimum sentencing goes here. The NCAA's CYA guideline about lightning strikes was the reason Michigan couldn't finish (or all but finish) yesterday's game. The sun had already come out by the time the teams finished getting off the field for the first delay, and that was the reason there was more than a few minutes left on the clock when the seriously dangerous storm rolled in.

Anyone looking at the weather radar could tell you that by the time they delayed the game it was perfectly safe, but lawsuit avoidance rules everything around me, and thus we get a silly abbreviated game that makes the value proposition of a 70 dollar ticket to watch Western Michigan play even dodgier. Boo.

Argh. So last year I'd get to my seat and tweet personnel stuff I noticed in warmups. This year I did the same and just got a bunch of replies that can be summarized as "duh." This is because the U announced suspensions/unavailability an hour before the game. Next time it would be nice if M could do that earlier or not at all. kthxbye.

Non-Bullets About Football

Depth chart/practice rumor updates. The offense was as expected. Brandon Moore got some time as the second TE, which is good.

On defense, Frank Clark had gotten hyped up this fall but it was Brennen Beyer who got a ton of time as a rush end. His main contribution was opening a few cutback lanes for Western. Also infrequently seen: Brink and Heininger. I'm guessing that's an artifact of playing a passing spread… but we'll see a passing spread next week. I'm hoping the massive substitutions were because of the weather and that RVB/Martin/Roh will get way more time against ND. Herron was a surprise starter at WLB and Avery started opposite Woolfolk.

I received a bunch of tweets predicting Carvin Johnson would not score well in UFR, and then he was replaced by Marvin Robinson. Will be interesting to see if that works out.

So weird in so many ways. The game would have been short even if it was long, if you know what I mean. There were all of two drives in the first quarter and Brandon Herron robbed Michigan's offense of two opportunities. As a result the offense only had five and a half drives to work with. They scored 3.5 touchdowns and went three and out twice.

Short term prognosis: grimmer? Less grim? We'll have to see what the UFR looks like but Western went up and down the field against Michigan in a manner reminiscent of everyone against last year's D… and scored ten points. Michigan forced two turnovers with QB pressure and held the best quarterback in the state to 5.9 YPA.

Hack out the Kovacs sacks and WMU averaged 4.9 YPC, which is not good when you're playing a MAC team with two fresh JUCO transfer backups at guard. Also hoping that's a result of the heavy rotation.

The offense had those three and outs, and because of the weird nature of the game that was enough for their output to seem somewhat worrying. They did give the impression they were about to blow the doors off when the game got called, having just blown down the field in three plays and moved the ball into the Western half of the field when the game was called.

Pressure existed. When Mattison figured out rushing four wasn't getting home he turned things around by blitzing like mad. One series late in the first half saw him go cover zero three straight times. On each play a Michigan player would tear up the middle unblocked, forcing Carder to chuck it off his back foot. JT Floyd made a play on the first; the second two were hypothetically open but Carder couldn't get it right because he was busy eating someone's facemask.

Hurray lack of GERG.

Running backs. Toussaint's getting good reviews everywhere and it'll be no different here. To me his most exciting moment was an eight-yard run late when he was cutting behind the backside tackle. He momentarily looked like he'd head inside of Lewan, sucking the linebacker inside, then burst back behind him to pick up good yardage. That was a "whoah, he can do that?" moment reminiscent of his high school film.

My only complaint is that on his long run he tried to truck the safety instead of angling away from him and probably cost himself 10 more yards. That mentality is helpful when he's running up the middle, maybe.

Kovacs preview 2012 preview. There is a 100% chance this is one of the images used for Kovacs next year:

Via David Guralink @ the News. Also here is Alex Carderp and Taylor Lewan making nice with his second most hated enemy: referees.

Things I miss. A couple tactical decisions that seem suboptimal:

• The spread punt. I thought it was remarkably effective at holding down return yardage because it gave you six gunners instead of two. When Michigan punted, if the returner got past the first two guys he had 15 yards before the next wave showed up. The only disadvantage is the near-impossibility of faking from it.
• No huddle offense. I liked the concept of tempo as something you were capable of shifting on a regular basis, and it seemed like a good idea to remove the burden of calling audibles from the quarterback.

This is not an endorsement of Rich Rodriguez. Hoke uber alles.

COUCHDATE! Alex Carder, pictured above, just turned the ball over three times and averaged a terrible 5.9 YPA—more than a yard less than the national average—against last year's #108 defense. What do you think this means, Graham Couch?

This weekend — considering the performances of Carder, Denard Robinson and Kirk Cousins — in everyone's eyes, it should be a viable argument, even if not a certain one.

… Even though I truly believe Carder is the best college QB in the state, this column was an interesting social experiment alone, though it wasn't intended to be. … the argument against Carder by so many who had barely heard of him — and the manner in which they argued — was absurd.

It was an interesting social experiment: can a beat writer actually get criticized for being an embarrassing homer by a fan of the team he's covering? Survey says:

As a Western alum living 2k miles away, I really wish the Broncos had a better beat writer.

Sorry GC but I hate your style and you come off as a whiny, rambling, non-objective homer. I can appreciate the passion you have for defending our boys but just put the shovel down because you're digging a deeper hole for yourself. Just stick to the facts and give us information about our teams. You lose all credibility and professionalism as soon as you try to sell the reader your opinions.

Circle gets the square. /gameshow'd

Elsewhere

Slideshows from AnnArbor.com, MNB Nation, MNB Nation again, and the Detroit News. "Michigan Rewind" for WMU.

AnnArbor.com surveys the changes at the golf course and find people are happier this year but still a little peeved that there had to be any changes at all.

MVictors and John Kryk find previous times when Michigan games have ended before full time. They're mostly from the days when you could accidentally play a 23-minute third quarter before anyone noticed. Greg also explores whether or not Brandon Herron's interception return TD was the longest in Michigan history or if Tom Harmon has him beat.

Shooting Blue returns with a long gameday review. Pop Evil "could only be worse" if the lead singer clubbed seals while Godwinning himself. Maize and Go Blue hit up Oklahoma this weekend and returns with a trip report.

Column type things: Wojo references the "numbingly familiar" defense. Get Rid of the Seaward is enjoy its first Michigan season in a while with normal LDH levels, which means cancer remission. Denard on Toussaint. Maize And Go Blue recaps the game. Holdin' the Rope:

As the rain fell and Brady Hoke patrolled the field as if he'd been around for a while already, as if it was undeniably his field and his program and not one that had just been handed to him only 8 months ago, it was hard not to come away with certain vague feelings of goodness, that something that was more good than bad had just transpired, a feeling of warmth that may or may not be ephemeral. The Era of Good Feelings continues. James Monroe's got nothing on Brady Hoke.

Aaaaaand the Hoover Street Rag "writes under the influence of muscle relaxers and pain killers."

More bullets can be found at TTB…

Apparently it doesn't matter who coaches the special teams, whether it's an offensive or defensive guy, etc.  Some Michigan fans hated that defensive backs coach Tony Gibson was in charge of special teams because he was one of only four defensive coaches under Rodriguez.  Now an offensive guy (tight ends coach Dan Ferrigno) is coaching special teams, and they're still bad.  Kick returner Kelvin Grady doesn't look like anything special and made a bad decision to leave the endzone.  Brendan Gibbons had a low extra point attempt blocked.  Western Michigan averaged 31 yards per kickoff return and consistently had excellent field position.

and The Wolverine Blog.

And if you're looking for a few bullets on Michigan State, A Beautiful Day For Football provides. Sounds like that OL is going to be a problem. Also Minnesota and Northwestern had meaningful outings—Heiko will debut a weekly thing covering opponents tomorrow.

Gratuitous Brian Kelly:

Further gratuitous Brian Kelly:

Big time highlights from parkinggod:

Presser items after the jump.

It's a new year. If you're new around here you should check out the Liveblog Chaos Mitigation Post, which will clarify things. In an effort to make the liveblog something other than total chaos it is moderated. This means that relatively few comments actually get published. Bring your zingers, leave your "WOOOOOO!"

If you'd like to moderate please email me with your username.

Essentials

Run Offense vs. Western Michigan

Michigan returns Denard Robinson (who did this on his first collegiate snap, against Western, for the zero of you who need to be reminded), four starting offensive linemen, and a host of running backs of all shapes and sizes from a team that finished 13th in the country in rushing yards per game last season. The running game, especially Robinson's ability to be pure football magic, will still be the strength of this offense, even if the picture at running back isn't crystal-clear. I trust that Al Borges will find a way to get this offense to run for a bunch of yards, even if it isn't in the form of Denard left, Denard right, Denard up the middle.

Western returns all four starters on the defensive line, but one of those starters is a 6'5", 210-pound defensive end (Paul Hazel, #99)—I believe Taylor Lewan refers to those as "crippled runt donkeys"—and you can expect to see the Wolverines attack Hazel's side of the line with great frequency. The Broncos also must replace both of their starting outside linebackers with inexperienced true sophomores, although senior middle linebacker Mitch Zajac returns after leading the team with 97 tackles in 2010.

Key Matchup: The Interior Line vs. Western Michigan's Defensive Tackles.

The one area in this matchup where I can see the Wolverines getting tested is in the middle of the line, where WMU has a big pair of DTs who can slash into the backfield — 5'11", 303-pound Travonte Boles recorded 4.5 tackles for loss as a true freshman starter last year, while senior Drew Nowak (6'4", 292) tallied 6.5 TFLs two years ago before his production dropped off slightly last year. While these two aren't world-beaters, they'll provide an interesting litmus test for the undersized (at least for the MANBALL power run game) middle of the Michigan line, especially if Borges calls for a lot of man blocking.

Overall however the Wolverines should have a decided advantage in this category, and the key matchup could easily be "Denard Robinson vs. The Sideline." Seriously, Shoelace, please consider the sideline to be your friend, at least when it means avoiding a head-hunting defender.

Pass Offense vs. Western Michigan

The Broncos were mediocre against the pass last year, finishing 74th in the nation in opponent pass efficiency, but they struggled in their two games against BCS competition — Michigan State only threw the ball 22 times in a 38-14 victory, but managed 8.5 yards per attempt, while Notre Dame torched WMU to the tune of 299 yards and four touchdowns on 30 passes. They also got lit up by Central Michigan in a losing effort. The Wolverines should be able to throw for some yards early on, with the onslaught only stopping by virtue of mercy.

Western Michigan does feature redshirt senior free safety Doug Wiggins, who transferred from Miami (YTM) and started eight games last season, and sophomore cornerback Lewis Toler, who was named first-team All-MAC last year after recording an impressive 14 pass breakups. However the listed starter at the corner spot across from Toler is senior Aaron Winchester, who last season was Western's starting running back. He's also 5'6", so say hello to Junior Hemingway, jump-ball specialist.

The Bronco front four does present a decent pass-rush threat, with Hazel's eight sacks leading the way last year, including a 1.5-sack performance against Notre Dame, but Denard Robinson is pretty hard to track down — while the offensive line certainly deserves credit for allowing .85 sacks per game last year, Robinson's mobility had a lot to do with that number.

Key Matchup: Denard Robinson vs. Timing.

From last weekend's punt-tacular scrimmage thing:

Denard had a hard time finding receivers. A few crisp rhythm throws, a lot of ball-patting, scrambling, and difficult sideline improv throws. Not sure if that's on him or the WRs. Gallon twice ran comebacks that the quarterbacks expected to be fly routes, so they've got some pro-style sight reading in the O. Not functional sight reading, but sight reading nonetheless.

It would be nice if said sight reading was a little more functional, especially against a secondary so ripe for picking apart. It's probably going to take at least a few weeks for Denard to get down some basic timing with his receivers at full game speed, but with Notre Dame looming in week two, he needs to develop some go-to plays that can make the passing offense a threat. Since one-hand touch on the quarterback doesn't fly as a legitimate tackling method in real games, the hope here is that the passing game will open up as defenses have to respect the dilithium. Like every other team that's ever watched film of Denard, the Broncos will utilize "spies" on defense, but good luck with this:

“We got to have somebody that’s going to run him down, or get him before we have to run him down,” [WMU head coach Bill] Cubit said.

You can't ask your defense to do the impossible, coach. You just can't. Cubit should know that better than anyone, as the article linked above is all about how Denard's First Run is still the stuff of legends in Kalamazoo.

Run Defense vs. Western Michigan

Western Michigan's running game was, frankly, pathetic last season — they averaged just 3.9 yards per carry as a team. A part of this is due to the team allowing 2.5 sacks a game, but the bigger issue was giving now-cornerback Winchester more carries than any other running back despite his paltry 2.9 ypc. Quarterback Alex Carder led the team with 109 attempts and six rushing TDs, but finished with just 226 yards — again, sacks were an issue, but his legs are not a lethal weapon by any means. Taking over the starting job is sophomore Tevin Drake, who averaged 10.3 yards per carry (!) last season on 40 carries. All but eight of his yards, however, came against Ball State, Akron, EMU, Kent State, and Bowling Green — he struggled to find room on four carries against Notre Dame, the only other team against whom he appeared. Expect redshirt sophomore Brian Fields (6.5 ypc in 2010) to see a fair amount of action as well.

An even greater concern for the Broncos is their offensive line, which already had just two returning starters (including ex-Wolverine Dann O'Neill, who will line up at right tackle) and now is dealing with injuries to two projected starters on the interior of the line. Western is now forced to start two JuCo guards in their first year with the program, and this isn't exactly a supreme vote of confidence from their head coach:

"I'm not losing any sleep at night, but we know it's a concern," said Cubit, who considers Uitalia perhaps the best athlete WMU has had on its offensive line in his coaching tenure. "We've got to make sure we don't put those guys in tough spots."

Prepare for MARTIN SMASH.

Key Matchup: Michigan's Outside Linebackers vs. Losing Contain.

Michigan will be breaking in a pair of new starting outside linebackers themselves, and I still have nightmares of Jonas Mouton WHY DID YOU GIVE UP THE OUTSIDE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Cam Gordon and Mike Jones are your starting outside linebackers; Gordon is at his third position as a Wolverine in three years, while Jones missed almost the entirety of 2010 with a broken leg. With the exception of Thomas Gordon at free safety, I'll be watching this pair more closely than any other Wolverine defender, especially with a couple big-play threats (at least against MAC competition) at running back for WMU. Michigan should be able to shut down Western's rushing attack, and the only way they don't is if the outside linebackers don't do their jobs.

Pass Defense vs. Western Michigan

Kalamazoo Gazette reporter Graham Couch thinks the best quarterback in the state will be on the field on Saturday. He also thinks that quarterback is Western's Alex Carder. He is hilariously wrong:

That is literally the dumbest thing I have seen written about football in the state of Michigan not related to Rich Rodriguez. In games against ND and MSU last year Carder averaged 5.4 YPA—Threet/Sheridan numbers—and threw two TDs to three interceptions. He had 104 yards on 33 attempts against Idaho in a 33-13 loss. Playing a MAC schedule he finished 35th in passer efficiency. Cousins was 18th and Robinson 20th playing in the Big Ten.

This is not a surrounding talent issue. According to Couch WR Jordan White "would be an All Big Ten wideout." He proved this by averaging a whopping 10.5 yards per catch against MSU and Notre Dame. But sure, a MAC team with a better quarterback than Kirk Cousins and Denard Robinson and an All Big Ten wideout went 6-6 last year in the MAC.

That's not to say Carder is terrible—he threw for 30 touchdowns against 12 interceptions and should improve in his second year as a starter—but he is capable of turning the ball over six times against Toledo. The Broncos do return two senior starters at receiver in White (1,378 yards receiving in 2010) and Robert Arnheim (235 yards last year after posting 759 in '09), but they lack a true deep threat and no tight end caught more than nine passes for them last season.

The Wolverines, of course, get Troy Woolfolk back from the Tragic Leg Explosion of 2010, and the secondary can do nothing but improve from last year's craptastic performance. Do not make me feel terrible for writing that sentence, Michigan, or this will be a very, very long year. If nothing else, the front seven should be able to get some major pressure on Carder against that extremely inexperienced offensive line, which should help bail out the pass defense

Key Matchup: Troy Woolfolk/Courtney Avery vs. Jordan White.

Hey, an actual matchup! While they aren't Montana-to-Rice, as Graham Couch would have you believe, Carder-to-White is still a dangerous and established combination. We'll see if Greg Mattison decides to just stick Woolfolk, his top corner, on White all game or if he lets Avery get a crack at him in coverage as well, but either way we'll get a decent gauge on how much those two have improved since the last time we saw them suit up. If T-Wolf locks down White, then there's a shot the Wolverines have a passable number one corner, which would be more than welcome. If Avery knows where to be in zone coverage and continues to show he's solid in man-to-man, we may even have two passable starting cornerbacks. Hooray!

Special Teams

Western Michigan has a solid kicking game, with two seniors returning at the specialist positions — kicker John Potter (10-12 FGs, long of 42 last year) and punter Ben Armer (40.6 yards per punt). The Broncos had three different players who returned either 13 or 14 kickoffs last year, with the most successful being senior receiver Dervon Wallace, who averaged 27.2 yards per return and took one back to the house. Jordan White handled the punt returns and averaged an unremarkable 6.1 yards last year, and he's ceded the top spot on the depth chart to 5'5", 160-pound running back Dareyon Chance.

Michigan has Brendan Gibbons kicking, true freshman Matt Wile punting, and Jeremy Gallon returning kicks. When the Wolverine special teams are on the field, I will not be breathing.

Key Matchup: HOLD ONTO THE DAMN BALL.

Also, KICK THE DAMN BALL BETWEEN THE UPRIGHTS.

Thank you.

Intangibles

Cheap Thrills

Worry if...

• Carder-to-White actually resembles Montana-to-Rice
• The Broncos find room to run on the edge
• Denard Robinson is still throwing routes that the receivers aren't running

Cackle with knowing glee if...

• You be like dang
• Denard repeats the '09 run, just over and over
• Someone in blue makes a field goal

Fear/Paranoia Level: 2 (Baseline: 5, +1 for We Have No Idea What the Offense Will Look Like, +1 for Same With the Defense, -1 for Alex Carder is Not Joe Montana Regardless of What Insane Beat Reporter Claims, -1 for We Did This Two Years Ago, -1 for 210-pound Defensive End, -2 for They're Starting Two JuCo Guys Against Mike Martin and RVB)

Desperate Need to Win Level: 10 (Baseline: 5, +1 for First Game of the Hoke Era, +1 for We Don't Lose to MAC Teams Not Named Toledo, +1 for It's Western, For Goodness Sake, +1 for Please Don't Do This to Me, +1 for Seriously, That Mascot is Blatantly High and We Can't Lose to a Team Whose Mascot is Horse Towelie)

Loss will cause me to... Question Dave Brandon's "process" again, and likely lose my press credential after just one game in the, er, process.

Win will cause me to... Continue to not be able to focus on anything except the Notre Dame game no matter what I'm doing.

The strictures and conventions of sportswriting compel me to predict:

Simply put, I'll believe a MAC-level team can slow down Denard Robinson when I see it. Al Borges may try to establish a pro-style passing game and some between-the-tackles running from the tailbacks, but if things don't go well, he's got one hell of a backup plan — unleash Shoelace. The offense will put up points, and it will just be a matter of when, how efficiently, and by what means. If it's with precision passing and Mike Shaw breaking runs with Denard under center, cackle away.

The defense may have some trouble early on with Carder, despite my derision, but I can't get the thought out of my head that when the team had an entire fall camp to prepare for UConn last year, they somehow held a future BCS team (Big East shenanigans be damned) to ten points. That was last year's defense with GERG at the helm. This year's defense would've been greatly improved even if Greg Mattison didn't leave one of the NFL's best gigs to come back to Ann Arbor.

I don't think this one will be close, so therefore—thankfully—special teams should not matter much except to help us all sleep well at night. Or not. Probably not. But we can hope, right?

Finally, three opportunities for me to look stupid Sunday:

• Junior Hemingway has at least 100 yards receiving and two touchdowns.
• Denard Robinson carries the ball ten times, a few of them on broken passing plays, and leaves the game (healthy, please) by the second half.
• Thomas Gordon comes away with an interception and doesn't give up any big plays. I'm totally asking for it with this one.
• Michigan, 41-17.

...more day until the Michigan Wolverines run out under their banner into the hallowed field with a single goal. The field will be Yost's. The helmets will be Crisler's, the philosophy Kipke's. They'll come, athletes with the grace of Oosterbaan, the decency of Elliott, the humanity of Carr, and the heart of Bo.

This team was built by the game's greatest living engineer, who failed in part because he didn't pay homage to the foundation he was building upon. It is now led by a man who married the only girl he ever wanted and after he took the only job he ever dreamed of, she asked him how much he will make and he realized he hadn't even thought to ask.

What legacy will Brady Hoke leave at Michigan? What attributes will he contribute to this program so great that its fans are best known for their arrogance, and that each time Fielding's giant room is expanded, nobody need bother to ask if they can fill it? You are welcome now to ask if the variegated bricks left by Hoke's predecessors are truly attributes you'd choose, or if the moral relativist landscape of college football makes all this talk of morality pure hypocrisy. You probably think Kipke's "the best offense is a good defense" needs to be simplified to "score, and don't be scored upon," in much the same way as Aristotle's "it wants to be on the ground" got dropped for Newton's "everything falls."
Those bricks are set; they are part of the edifice's charm, and those perceived as trying to change them will be dealt with severely. They are our traditions, like Denarded being there when the bell tolls to let us know how long until the Michigan Wolverines run out on the field again.

The 19th bricklayer leads the 133nd team into its 132nd season. Each of those players are here because they chose to be. They wanted to play in that stadium, to wear those helmets, to follow that philosophy. They wanted to be counted among the great athletes, the good guys, the smart guys, the victors, the best. They came for the system; they came to become legends. As much as we may click our tongues at mention of the nebulous "Michigan Man," this is what they have come here to be, and this is what Brady Hoke has come here to define. This is our team. Hail them.

Diaries

Your Diarist of the Week WolverSwede with a sing-along, No Laces Tied.  It may speak for itself:

Look at me, look at me
Scoring and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be alive and top
My speed's unrivaled
My likeness, a blur
My moves are humbling
My passing is pure

It's also kind of ironic since the Flobots song is about arrogance and how it can corrupt you, while Denard is the least arrogant thing about our whole operation. I still loved it.

I also loved this personal Wolverine history of gobluehtown:

Things were never the same after that trip to Eugene. Rumors about Lloyd’s health. Chris Webber in federal court. Tommy Amaker. Antonio Bass’ knee. My freshman, sophomore against Ohio St.  Football Armageddon. Bo gone. Freep Derp. My senior year was the worst. The Horror, Oregon, Losing Chad, Wisconsin, and Ohio St. The rain, the score, Tressel: it all was a massive dong punch.

Co-sign!

That's it for the emotional stuff. Now for the helpful: NStank made a trip to Canton to watch Michigan RB target (and OSU commit) Bri'onte Dunn, coming back with the best scouting report I've yet seen on him. He even got us some video.

Last week Bocheezu was writing up summaries of Brian's WTKA show in the thread and in this space I suggested he do a weekly write-up. And dude—he listened! Awesome follows. There's some good stuff in there that hasn't been on the main page.

stubob is back with his Ugly Game of the Week. With so tune-up games against bodybags that pretty much means the whole schedule. This is where I mention I'm pissed I couldn't get the 'Cuse/Wake game last night – it looked pretty exciting on my sports app.

I wrote an addendum to Ace's Thursday Recruiting to predict who would get left out of Duane Long's Top 50 players in Ohio. Spoiler: Wormley and Kalis are probably in, Gant no.

UPDATE: JAMIE MAC'S BACK!!!!! Also: TK.

Best of the Board

IS IT DA NA NA NA NA NA NA or DUN DA NA NA NA-NA?

Bdsisme is trying to get the cadence right for the bell cheer:

Is it tap tap tap taptap taptap tap tap?

I've heard it so many different ways in different parts of the stadium but I agree it sounds like a beat's missing there. Anyway you gotta love a thread where this is peoples' replies:

Side question: For the last verse are you in favor of the seven-hit version:

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun

Or the the nine hit version:

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun-dun-dun, da-dun.

I've always favored the simple seven hit version because I think the last rendition is aimed at getting the fans to clap and shout and I don't like the cowbell taking away from it.

THE MICHIGAN DIFFERENCE

Michigan's got by far the best school ads to play during games – I actually walked down the aisle at my wedding to that xylophonic version of The Victors from the hospital commercial. M-Wolverine found the new ones for this year.

SCOREBOARD!

Scoreboard.

THE ART, THE ART, THE ART?!?

Whatever shall you make your wallpaper this year now that monuMental has chosen to have a life instead of making cool backgrounds for us? It took two more threads but the MGoDenizens have managed to create a gallery of options:

HOW THE BIG TEN BREAKS A TIE:

Thank Everyone Murders for finding out how the Big Ten will decide divisional ties, and then fixing it when Alton discovered ESPN had this totally wrong. How it breaks down:

1. If it's a 2-way tie, Head to Head. In a three-way tie:
2. In-division record (so beating Ohio State doesn't count as much as beating MSU /shakes fist)
3. Compare records against next highest placed teams (so beating Iowa matters more than beating MSU)
4. Records against all common conf. opponents
5. Highest team in BCS (first one at end of conference season /shakes fist at SEC coaches who use their votes to manipulate things)
6. If the two highest teams are ranked next to each other it's the team with the best winning % not counting "excluded games" which I think means MAC teams count but FCS schools don't so DON'T SCHEDULE FCS TEAMS
7. Random drawing (i.e. they pick the team that'll get higher ratings)
8. 

WATCH THIS:

Released in the depths of the WMU game notes:

Items:

• Heininger didn't get the memo that Brink was the walk-on who was supposed to start at SDE. Seriously, Hoke said point blank he would start.
• Will Campbell is back at one tech?
• Martavious Odoms is way down the depth chart.
• That horrible, horrible OR at K.
• Freshmen who made it on: Beyer, Clark, Morgan, Brown, and Countess
• Hopefully Barnum's presence means his injury isn't significant.
• Somewhat surprising that Mike Jones managed to hold on to the starting WLB job without so much as an OR. Seems like we've heard about everyone save him.