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Date Title Body
01/14/2010 - 5:57pm Kiffin

It's about time Kiffin was locked in a room with William Shatner and had his fucking ass kicked.

01/14/2010 - 5:54pm Ummm


01/14/2010 - 5:49pm Beeks

Do you think you're cool because you walk around town with a briefcase full of orange juice reports handcuffed to your arm?

01/14/2010 - 5:45pm Jimmy Potempa

Used to get around campus in a Bitchin' tricked-out hearse.

01/14/2010 - 5:31pm Cone

Has been cloned.

We will have a Cone wearing the Winged Helmet for the next 1000 years.

01/11/2010 - 2:30am That's Easy

The speculation on the USC roster and recruits about how we can fit them all in at Michigan.

01/10/2010 - 8:52pm HAHAHA

Everybody has been retiring Joe Paterno for 20 years now.

I'm actually thinking Schiano has his eyes on how Randy Shannon will do over the next year or so.

01/10/2010 - 8:50pm Thank You Magnus

You have addressed one of the many questions I had from that completely vague post Tom made.

Now, I have my OWN question: Tom, when you say Rich Rodriguez's "job secruity"--I didn't know Rich Rodriguez was working in security.

My question is: Security as in financial stuff? Or security as in Rodriguez is one of those meanies who puts the boot on a cute coed's car after she racks up thousands of dollars in unpaid parking tickets?

01/10/2010 - 6:33pm I Agree

I have worn out my cape and mask from running around defending the Big Ten for so many years now.

By day, I'm an unassuming agorophobe. By night, I am BIG TEN (It's Actually Eleven, I know STFU) MAN.

Faster than a speeding 340 lbs offensive lineman from Stanky's Carbuncle, Iowa...

More powerful than an Anti Rich Rodriguez Faction at Michigan

Drunker than Barry Alvarez in a hot tub with a cheerleader

It's BIG TEN (It's Actaully Eleven, I know STFU) MAN!

In next week's episode, Big Ten Man is engaged in an all out brawl at Horny's Hardy Har Har Comedy Club with 16 drunk bridal shower attendees...

"Goddammit! The Big Ten plays all their bowl games on the road in warm weather sites! You try to do that bitches!"

"Aww fuck you! Are you the stripper?"

"No. I am not. I am BIG TEN (It's Actually Eleven, I know STFU) MAN!"

"GIRLS! I've got 10 new dildos as gifts! Let's make sure they work! ATTACK!"

"WIAT! NO! The Big Ten just won four bowl games! NO NO HELLLLP MEEEEE OH GOD NOOOO!"

Tune in next week to hear Big Ten Man say, "WOW! A $32,000.oo bill to have 10 dildos removed from my asshole?"


01/10/2010 - 6:11pm I Thought The Latest

Announcement was that he WOULD take it after NLOID.

Hey, who the hell can blame him? He wants to have the thing in order, take some time off, and come back to a tight running ship.

01/10/2010 - 3:55pm Forget Mr Gaussian, It's Simpler Than That

If you are any form of a living being (or not), you will rub Michigan the wrong way.

01/09/2010 - 8:19pm You're not supposed to talk about points

Is the general rule here. But everyone does. And there are posts calling for people to get banned.

So I have a suggestion for you: Conduct a study that will quantify the posts where people discuss points and banning. In other words--give us a read about how this board may be taking on more of a playground mentality and overly concerned with peer pressure, fitting in, worrying about how much people like you--ALL the concerns of you average 13-year old junior high student.

I'm looking forward to your results.

01/09/2010 - 7:59pm I'll Settle This

Since we're going to have at least 5000 threads on something that has a very minscule chance of happening, if Calvin Magee takes the job, Michigan is doomed.

I've heard they will consider tearing down The Glick and replacing it with a larger parctice facility dedicated to nothing but women's sports.

01/09/2010 - 6:25pm It's Here to Stay

People will think they're funny every time. It's one thing we're stuck with.

Personally, I'd go with "Fartpaste"

01/09/2010 - 6:19pm I'd Be All or it

Look at USC's linebackers over the last several years: That is a collection of Ass-Kickers. Our linebacking has been lacking.

You interview the guy--and if you get the impression he was in on The Dirty--pass. If not, you tell him, "We DON'T do that here. I catch you paying players, and, well, you're bigger and stronger than me so I'll just get really mad"

But if the guy seems like he's good, hard working, and wants to win--get him.

No need to be snobbish. Not everybody connected with USC would be dirty.

Not to mention he would be a defensive guy on the staff who played and has coached the position he would be working with. That seems to be in short supply around Ann Arbor these days.

01/09/2010 - 6:11pm Agree WIth Those who Don't Like This

"Sperm" talk is just icky. Slang works, like jizz, gunk, goo, spooge, or spunk.

I mean, it's a football board, bunch of guys, gotta keep it simple and keep that sort of hard core edge that Guy Talk should always have.

01/09/2010 - 6:04pm Outside the Experts

I can tell you that as was said in a thread earlier this week, when recruits stop talking to Michigan guys--namely KinG Beaver, Hemholdt, and Blue Sam--it looks bad. See Murphy and Grimes. Things now don't look so good with Grimes. He has shut communication with UM guys down for a week or so.

But Parker is still talking to UM guys--albeit not a whole lot--but enough that there is a pretty positive feeling about him.

01/09/2010 - 5:56pm First Address the Myth

That Michigan just spent 40 years bringing in Top 5 talent every year.

That is simply not true. I am going to guess that if you went back and averaged the final rankings for Michigan's recruiting classes over the last 20 years (pretty much since the days when the NCAA started paring down the scholarship numbers)--you'd find Michigan with a ranking of somewhere between 10-20.

Michigan's classes have always seemed to be top heavy with a bit of a falloff as the numbers grew.

According to Scout team rankings that go back to 2002:


2002: 19
2003: 8
2004: 5
2005: 2
2006: 9
2007: 10
2008: 6
2009: 14
2010 (so far): 12

According to Rivals over the same time period:

2002: 16
2003: 17
2004: 5
2005: 6
2007: 12
2008: 10
2009: 8
2010 (so far): 18

I think we've been a bit over the top when describing the talent UM brings in annually. Also--it would be damn hard to go back 20 years--those records would be hard to find unless you got more patience than me.

Now I don't believe UM (or anybody) needs Top 5 and maybe even Top 10 talent EVERY year to be a perrenial power. You DO need talent, but you need player development and you need, also, to be able to identify talent that doesn't have a shitload of stars next to its name.

I have my (well documented) beefs with Rodriguez and his most ardent supporters, but he has shown the ability to get talent here, and he has shown the ability to close late in the process.

The THING will be: Exactly how good a coach is he? WILL his system translate to a consistently higher level of football like the Big Ten?

Some other questions I ponder: Will his "eye for talent" be better here because he can go after higher-quality players across the board here than he could at WVU? In other words--a flyer at WVU--a flyer at UM--is there a difference in the talent level already? Think Vinopal.

I believe he gets in with better recruits than he could at WVU, so I believe the chances he takes will be with better athletes as well.

And lastly: Michigan has everything in the world going for it other than the program is a bit down right now and weather than can be aptly described as "Total shit"

HOWEVER: Great recruiters (expecially at a school like UM) can recruit. Period.

Michigan may not be in the fronts of the minds of 18 year olds, but their coaches and parents are old enough to know the story.

01/08/2010 - 8:12pm Prediction

Two years probation.

After it's over, hire Nick Saban.

01/08/2010 - 8:05pm Aw C'mon

You don't need a $39.00 suit that can be thrown in the washing machine?

01/08/2010 - 8:02pm Exactly

That's why Minnesota signed 30 recruits two years ago. AND precisely why UM boards feel UM can go to 29 this year.

It's whacky.

01/08/2010 - 7:53pm The General Consensus

On all the Michigan Intranets is that Drake is not going to be a part of this class. Academic qualifying problems. Ship sailed. And sank.

01/08/2010 - 7:49pm Warning

There must be over 500 threads on this. And that's not the problem.

The problem is that if you get 45 replies, you'll get 45 different answers.

Signing day is less than a month away. I'd just wait til then because January is the month when the shit hits the fan and no one really knows what is going to happen.

See: Pete Carroll to Seattle. One big domino about to fall.

01/08/2010 - 7:03pm One Seems Close

At least to theuys behind the paywall:

Sean Parker

01/08/2010 - 6:55pm Not Bad

At least us Walmart Wolverines will be able to get in and see it!

01/08/2010 - 6:11pm Uh, Yeah

Long before the Big 12 was formed, Texas and Oklahoma played every year--it was called the Red River Shootout.

The Big 12 didn't ignite the OU-UT rivalry. In fact, it was more intense when both teams were good and not in the same conference.

01/08/2010 - 6:01pm Interesting

Makes me wonder about that smoke and fire thingy.

As many of you know, I have been hyping Nebraska--except of course if Notre Dame decides to join. But they won't

But TEXAS?? Are you farking kidding me? Sign them bitches up!

Uh, yeah, nebraska, I still think you're cute and all, but you know...It's ME, not you. Texas and I just hit it off and before we knew it---WHAT? Hot sauce on my collar? Where?!

01/08/2010 - 3:19pm Right On

Ohio State has been losing tons of talent on defense every year since 1862.

01/08/2010 - 3:08pm Is This the Football Equivalent

Of banging your girlfriend one last time before dumping her?

01/08/2010 - 12:06pm You Are Suspended

From posting. You need to think about the awesome responsibility that comes with rewarding/subtracting points for posting.

I mean, up until you admittedly went through and neg-banged all my posts because I posted about mens' dress shoes a couple days ago, this points thing has been shown to be an exercise in maturity usually reserved for well-run childrens' day care centers.

01/08/2010 - 11:53am Lovely Day in the Hood

It's Rampant Speculation Day today! YAY!

Magee to USF? Dick Ash qualifying? NCAA investigation?

Is anybody going to live through this offseason? The Angst-o-meter is registering way into the red.

01/08/2010 - 9:26am Blue Voix

I owe you an apology.

I don't think you are a male prostitute. But I thought you were the one who called me a "cocksmoker." I apologize for that remark.

But I guess I'm going to have to go under the assumption that to question Rodriguez now means I'll be thought of as a homosexual.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

01/08/2010 - 1:45am Then Do

What all the rest of the boy hookers do: Blow guys for free so you can get a hot lunch.

01/08/2010 - 1:44am Ahh Yes

Dadday! He is saying something I diasgree with! Daddy! You love me, don't you Dadday? Then you'll kick him out of our super secret club where we cool guys all get along, won't you DaddaY?

And BTW---you sound kind of homoerotic.

01/08/2010 - 1:41am One Brave Soul

Simply supports the excuse machine and your point of view.

Nobody is a hater--we look at the results and understand that only Michigan hired a guy whose system is so specific that he needs hizz playazz to win. ONLY Rich Rodriguez knows the Super Secret Spread Formula and who it takes to run hizz offenzz.

AND OH by the way--ONLY Rodriguez had to hire two defensive coordinators AND a linebacker coach who (according to Michigan fans) sucked and couldn't recruit. And how's about that defensive backs coach? Beloved by Wolverine Nation so far?

OH yes! It's LLoyd's fault. It's Obi Ezeh's fault. It's Mike Williams' fault. It's Nick Sheridan and Steven Threet's fault!

You guys are embarrassing. Everyone to blame BUT Richie Rodriguez.

01/08/2010 - 1:27am Huh?

No fucking way?! I'm going to +1 you in hopes you can redeem that point for a free coffee at Denny's.

01/08/2010 - 1:26am I Don't Disagree With You

BUT--on the other side--every time Rich Rod gets a committment, we're bombarded with "Hey! Rodriguez is the Ace Recruiter of the New Millenium!"

Come on--this is opinion. I've always admitted that. But the evidence so far points, decidedly, to FAIL. Yet any time someone questions The Mighty Godriguez, he (or she) is lambasted.

It can't be both ways. We Who Question have every right to do so, ad to point out other instances that we think highlight Michigan's backward progression under Rodriguez. Look, this thing has been a disaster--yet when someone wants to point out anything other than lollipops and roses--he is told to shut the hell up.

I don;t play by "fair"--you guys can neg-bang me to China for all I care. But Rodriguez is a fish out of water here and this thing is going to take a miracle to work--and it is pretty much all his fault.

01/08/2010 - 1:08am Interesting

You all attack ME and not the content.

Look, Rodriguez is serving up a big bucket of fail. Failed at defense, failed with his offense. Failed with fundamentals. Failed with fielding a staff that could at least stay together for a few years to give himself a good footing and some continuity.

And all you guys can do is accuse other programs of cheating, being doofuses, bumbling, stumbling, and you can do nothing but make excuses for a guy most of you thought would be DOMINANT at Michigan.

I don't want any of you to say anything to me. Just stop rationalizing and excusing the failure that is this hire so far. NOT ONE of you saw the shit that has happened coming. NOT ONE. If you say you did--you are a liar.

The worst thing about this hire is that all of you--US--thought "Hey! No more Lloyd Carr! We're free! FREE! Free of the dark shadow of mediocrity and underachievement! Oh gawd amighty, we're FREE AT LAST!"

But a funny thing has happened on the way to infinite Sears Trophies: It ain't happening anytime soon. Lloyd Carr was a damn fine coach, and Rich Rodriguez has blown it during two years of stupid.

Can he resurrect himself here? Aw, hellz yeah. But unless he pulls a defense out of his ass, he won't, and UM will have a new coach in 2011.

01/08/2010 - 12:55am Reason Is As Reason Does

Lloyd Carr won a national championship in his third season. Apparently, Lloyd didn't need to get "hizz guyzz" in to win, eh?

The apologists have had their day.

NOW is the time for "reason" to take over.

01/08/2010 - 12:52am That's Weak Sauce and You Know it

Did UM have no standards when they won the NC in '97?

Come on, man. Everyone cheats but Michigan!

No one cares if your recruits can read but Michigan!

This mantra is so played out.

01/08/2010 - 12:47am WHAT?

I thought recruit rankings don't matter no more.

And recruiting, last I checked, was part of coaching.

01/08/2010 - 12:43am Uh, What?

First-year starter at QB. And how do you "stockpile" a shitload of talent by your third year?

01/08/2010 - 12:25am Saban

Wil be back in the NFL within 18 months.

Book it.

He looks like he hasn't taken a shit in 18 months.

01/08/2010 - 12:23am I Saw That

And then I noticed his name was like Richard Dickcock or something like that.

I knew there was a reason I've never liked that flowery-tasting swill.

01/08/2010 - 12:10am You Guys

Can have Denise.

I'll take Lisa Salters.

01/07/2010 - 11:56pm I Agree

But would Alabama have gone into such an offensive shell if not for that play?

01/07/2010 - 11:46pm Yes

See Bo Pellini.

Jim, you've been around long enough to know that great defensive coordinators are almost a shoe-in to be great HC's.

01/07/2010 - 11:16pm Yes

But then you get successful in Hollywood and you no longer have to share a can of tuna fish with your six roommates and four cats.

It's called success--and it means the table by the window at Poulet du Sucrose 'n Lamb Flambet and chicks that'll suck your cock no matter what you look like.

Exercise? Fuck that. What self respecting bimbo in Hollywood gives a shit what you look like once you are pulling down $10 Million per bomb?

01/07/2010 - 10:52pm I'd say

About 52.8% Alabama
47.1% Texas

And .1% some naked guy and his dong rushing the field, causing Brent Musberger to call him the "idiot rushing the field"

01/07/2010 - 10:33pm Remember This

Steve Smith is nailed by Don Rodgers and put out of the 1983 Rose Bowl.

In steps freshman Dave hall and UM plays a prety damn good game and only loses to UCLA 24-14.

Bo Schembechler didn't win a whole lot of Rose Bowls, but The Man could rally the troops under duress.