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Date Title Body
10/19/2015 - 6:22pm Wait wait wait hold the damn phone

We're naming people McKinley now?

That's it. I'm done with this world.

04/18/2013 - 11:11am ...

03/28/2013 - 3:28pm We too had subs

It was also crazy.

07/11/2012 - 6:08pm Serious Michigan Fan Is Serious


12/05/2011 - 2:01pm I humbly disagree

"That's not how sports works. Champions aren't crowned like that. They're crowned by how you perform under a set of extreme pressure circumstances. Not by how you beat a bunch of bad teams in the regular season (which is basically what we have now). No sport - other than college football - creates a champion like that."

I think the current system does just that, by making every game a performance under a set of extreme pressure circumstances.  You lose just once, and you're out unless the gods conspire to let you back in.

As for the first point, yes, I find it mildly moronic that the NFL crowns teams like Green Bay as champions.  Three of the last four Super Bowl winners were 10-6 and couldn't even win their divisions (of course, the division argument could be used this year, too, but at least that team hasn't lost nearly 40% of its games).  Did anyone really think last year's Packers team was the best football team on the planet?  How about the 2007 Giants?  They are your champs, they sit atop the pile of skulls, but they are also completely undeserving of being named champions on the entire body of evidence.

12/05/2011 - 1:50pm Yeah, but they're still in contention

Losing to ISU knocked OSU completely out of the race, which I think is AAB's point.  If we turn the two-team race now into a six-team race (which will eventually become 8, then 12, then 16, eventually 68, because every playoff system ever invented has done just that), we're arguing the "bubble" and Okie State's loss really doesn't have that much effect.  And if the loss doesn't have that much effect, that game is less fun to watch.  

A playoff will eventually turn college football into college basketball, and I'm pretty sure there's nobody who would say that the college basketball regular season is anywhere near as important as the college football regular season is.  Brian's playoff system is as good as there is, but it still doesn't change that basic math.  If your goal is entertainment (like the hoops tournament) I'm not sure you get there by diminshing the importance of the regular season.  If your goal is to crown a deserving champion, I'm not sure you get there by allowing six teams the opportunity; this year, the mere hypothetical presence of five teams playing LSU would be five too many.

12/05/2011 - 1:41pm No, MLB HAD the best system

We had ALCS/NLCS/WS, and it was great, because every series had sufficient games to determine which team is actually superior and maintain drama.  And then we got playoff creep.  First it was wild cards and five-game series where having 2 good pitchers trumps actually having the best team.  Now they're adding another wild card and a play-in game, as if the 162 games before it weren't enough.  It's ridiculous.

12/09/2010 - 2:54pm I think you got the blockquote wrong

Robinson also packed snow into a plastic bag for his return flight. 
"Melted on the plane," he said.

I never again want to hear about Michigan's vaunted academic standards.

11/05/2010 - 2:07pm OOH OOH OOH CRIPPLE FIGHT


11/02/2010 - 4:29pm Outsider Perspective

(1) You're absolutely right on the offense, both as it currently stands and on how it would disintegrate under Harbaugh or basically anyone else.  Michigan is far better off for the next 3 years on offense by keeping Rodriguez in place.

(2) This situation, with so much youth and so little production on one side of the ball, is like a half-Zook circa 2009.  Change the defensive coordinator (and forget how Rodriguez has shown about as much interest in defense as Coach Taylor on FNL), splash out some money on a staff that knows the sort of bland 4-3 that's so effective in the conference (because defense is reactive; I'm not a traditionalist on offense, despite my team's leanings, but when you play half your games against pro-style, run-between-the-tackles types, a new-wavey defensive scheme built to combat speed more than power isn't going to be effective regardless of its new-waveness), and profit.

(3) Absolutely none of this is written in the hopes that you'll keep your own Bill Callahan for longer than you should.  Nope, none at all.

10/14/2010 - 1:27pm Wait, is that Freekbass?

That man is so versatile!

10/11/2010 - 7:39pm Although, can I say...

that someone who "reads and enjoys [our] blog" would probably get the acronym right.

10/11/2010 - 7:38pm GAH DIE MICHIGAN DIE


(Actually, we just didn't really feel like writing today.  Carry on.)

09/07/2010 - 2:18pm It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It

We're cool.  We're cool.

07/26/2010 - 1:38am Ooh, good one

Also, all those guys beat you last year.

07/26/2010 - 1:36am Looking forward to it

Of course, that would involve extracting your head from your own lower intestine long enough to type in the URL.

07/26/2010 - 1:34am I've tried watching them

They're better than Ambien.  Thanks for the help with my sleep apnea, Michigan football!

07/26/2010 - 1:31am Yeah. Homecoming, bitches!

07/14/2010 - 1:09am OMG

"The university has greatly diminished the iconic stadium in the United States of America."

Michigan diminished the Rose Bowl way back in 1992.

01/29/2010 - 5:04pm That video

Not only have I watched it approximately 147 times, but I've been walking around making a heart symbol with my hands all day. Good thing I'm as intimidating as Adrian Clayborn, or I'd get coldcocked.

09/09/2009 - 2:14pm Thanks YDD

But you don't have to make the case to Brian. He made it himself. From last year's week 1 Blogpoll rundown (

"[DocSat Resume Ranking] is supposed to bat away the preconceived notions that feature heavily in things like the coaches poll (hello, preseason ranking of Michigan) and result in a crystal-pure poll, but it just removes the assumptions to another level. Okay, Kentucky beat Louisville. Who says Louisville isn’t going 3-9? Or Pitt or—dammit—Michigan for that matter?"

Let's forget for a moment that the prediction was Nostradamus-like and get to the real point: Brian knows deep down that we're right. He acknowledged as much, not only last season but in the poll itself. The BHGPoll is a stunt in the same way that Lenin was a prankster. THE REVOLUTION IS HERE. FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM.

(Oh no, I've turned into one of the WLA guys, haven't I?)

09/04/2009 - 2:39pm Also

If everyone could please give me a point for my reply about Oops Pow's good point about Oops Pow's good point, it would be appreciated. I feel I've earned it.

09/04/2009 - 2:38pm Nicely done

Good point about your good point. You are like a Midwestern Benjamin Disraeli.

09/04/2009 - 2:37pm Good point

Well taken, old chap.

08/03/2009 - 2:46pm Question

How is "Michael Shaw's Sports Hernia" not a blog yet?

07/06/2009 - 7:26pm It's entirely up in the air

OK, a couple points of clarification:

(1) Hampton had a sprained ACL in the spring, so we're all crossing our fingers it's just a reaggravation of that injury. Not that it wouldn't hamper him early on (or raise the red flag on a recurring problem), but it's the best possible scenario.

(2) Awesome monicker aside, PAKIBOMB will not start at tailback. You guys left out redshirt freshman Jeff Brinson, a consensus 3-star tailback who was a Rivals "Top 5 sleeper recruit" last year (whatever that means) and received late offers from Florida and FSU. There were short-lived rumors that Brinson was actually pushing Hampton for the starting spot in spring (what with Hampton injured). He's bigger than Hampton, and by all accounts might be a better fit for this line. There is also the possibility it goes to Adam Robinson or Jayme Murphy, both of whom received some spring buzz after converting from safety (and one of which, unfortunately, is named Jayme).

(3) Wegher was never going to redshirt. He was a kick returner, at least, this season, so there's no loss in giving him the two spot. There have been favorable comparisons to Tim Dwight, for whatever that might mean. However, Iowa places significant emphasis on a back's ability to pass protect (there's a reason why Greene didn't catch too many passes last year), so he could be O.J. Simpson and would still have to prove he could block the blitzing linebacker before he saw any significant time.

(4) I would say it's no big deal because I could run for 5 ypc behind that line, but they just announced LG/C Julian Vandervelde had surgery last week and will probably not be ready for the first few games. That leaves a massive hole at center, which could be filled by Rafael Eubanks (who was honorable mention all-conference and a Remington watch list candidate 2 years ago, but has apparently regressed into a pile of goo) or James "Body Shot" Ferentz in that spot. That might actually be worse news than Hampton, to be honest.

There. Now you can all go back to working with t-squares and building bridges and shit.

06/19/2009 - 1:28pm Yeah!

Damn right! Why would Michigan play a team at home that could beat them? Fuck a challenge! Schedule Toledo!

Oh, right...

02/05/2009 - 12:01pm HA! YOU SUCK!

You can never join together to revenge us, and that is why you suck!

Bob Vance
Vance Refrigeration

P.S. Yay capitalism.

09/24/2008 - 2:28pm Notre Dame is in the top 25?

Oh, wait the other team that beat you.  Right.

08/19/2008 - 4:26pm Your Leaders Alone Cannot Save You!

You blindly follow Rodriguez and his vile henchman Barwis, but they are mere mortals.  They will eventually fail you, because they will eventually die (Barwis, like Trotsky before him, seems ripe for an icepick to the back).  The only thing that will not fail you is yourself, Mighiganders!  Cast your blind faith in these false Gods aside and bow before the one true God, the almighty Ruble!  You can help yourself, Michigan Man, and you will help yourself, and you will start here today by joining the league of sophisticated nations and embracing capitalism as the one true way!

08/19/2008 - 4:05pm CONFIRMED: NEWSOME TO IOWA

Ferentz to Michigan: "Suck on that, bitches."

08/19/2008 - 3:52pm When Max went on his jihad against BHGP

OPS and I decided to get as obnoxious as possible.  As usual, his response was funnier than mine.

Michigan will be back in my good graces soon enough, and McQueen will probably be back then.  Either that or a box of Tide, the favorite laundry detergent of the bourgeois capitalist West.

08/19/2008 - 3:37pm Wait wait wait

Newsome decommitted?

07/25/2008 - 1:34am What the fuck does Indiana have to do with it:? Wooo MU!  Go Blue Big!
07/19/2008 - 12:23pm I believe this is what you are looking for...
07/18/2008 - 3:02pm YES You should do this.  In fact, JHS, you should have your own blog.  I guarantee we'll blogroll it.  I'm not even being sarcastic, for the first time since Election Day 1988.
07/06/2008 - 1:46am +1 Jim Harbaugh Scramble We want more. We want more.
07/03/2008 - 4:20pm BLOLdiesel

Let's take it one step further and form a "Unemployed Crime-Infested Rotting Corpses of Manufacturing Conference."  That way Michigan can play a rotation of Michigan State, Ohio State, the MAC, and that Catholic school outside Gary, Indiana every season.  Maybe you could add Rutgers and Temple!  It's a Michigan Man's wet dream!

  That is, until everyone leaves your gray, bleak, miserable hellscape of a state in their foreign-built vehicles. 

07/03/2008 - 3:10am I'm almost never serious while blogging...

...but I'll make an exception here: You, my friend, are an effing idiot.

And, if you were too damn stupid to notice, it was at the top of the post you cited.

But hey, at least you made the BHGP quote sidebar. Congrats!

07/03/2008 - 3:07am LOL ROFL michigan man u cant reed a map LOL ROFL !!!1!!11!
07/03/2008 - 3:05am Uh...

Tom Brady

John Navarre

Chad Henne

Ryan Mallett (I know, I know, he's gone...for now)

Sam McGuffie (I'm just guessing)

Bo Schembechler (so slow he's been declared dead)


Slow white-trash football? The defense rests.

07/02/2008 - 3:38pm At least we know how to spell "owned"

It's pwned.

Wait, wait.

Aw, goddamnit. 

07/02/2008 - 3:04pm All your football are belong to us For all the talk from you Cooksuckers, your boys sure are hesitant to schedule the Hawkeyes. Still hurting from 2003, Wolverines? You sure talk a lot, but when it comes time to schedule, you say, "PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HURT US IOWA! WE'LL PLAY NOTRE DAME! WE'LL PLAY THE UTES! ANYONE BUT IOWA! ANYONE!" I don't blame you; Michigan was so afraid of Ferentz that they offered him a palace fit for a king and all the gold and silver in the state to take that thankless job. Unfortunately for you, all the gold and silver in Michigan totaled about $1.27. DETROIT RIOT! DETROIT RIOT! Ferentz knows he's at the better program, though. At least our fans are capable of standing from time to time. Quit dodging the Hawkeyes and we'll talk. Until then, you remain pwned.
07/01/2008 - 11:42am Ah, Bixel

bdubya: "They should make one that says: 'Iowa football, where nothing happens.'"

State of Game: "Iowa Football: Where nothing happens. Nothing, atall."

Now you're ripping off the guy who commented before you, huh? You Michigan boys never have an original thought?

Oh, and I never saw the end of Rocky IV. I only assume Drago wins, right? He had all that high-tech workout equipment. He's like Barwis with personality.