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Date Title Body
07/09/2012 - 6:24pm Never meet your heroes

Years ago, I was waiting in line with my date to see a film at an independent movie theater in Manhattan. I was teaching a class at Columbia at the time, and we were discussing the finer points of the film we were about to screen. I am something of an authority on film and media; naturally, I was being boisterous about my opinions. A strange, nebbish Jewish man and his out-of-his-league date interrupted me just as I mentioned the theories of Marshall McLuhan.

This little Jewish fellow informed me that McLuhan had been standing beside me during my entire rant. Here's the god's honest truth; McLuhan was a total dick in person. He told me, "You know nothing of my work." I was mortified.

Word to the wise... Never meet your academic/cultural heroes. They will disappoint you.

12/14/2011 - 7:34am The title is a bit

The title is a bit misleading. Chengelis writes...

"Michigan's seniors were asked for their input into the new white road jerseys the Wolverines will wear for the Sugar Bowl on Jan. 3 against Virginia Tech in New Orleans."

This doesn't mean they, themselves, chose to go with alternates. Perhaps they only had the choice between a few Adidas designs. And even if they wanted alternates, I'm not sure the players' desire to switch things up justifies wearing five different uniforms over the course of a 13-game season. Each class will want their own definitive uniform and then we'll have Oregon-esque ANARCHY, I tell you!

I'm still sticking with my original hypothesis: Brandon forced them into it during a coke-fueled rampage.

12/14/2011 - 2:34am Attention: I smuggled this

Attention: I smuggled this concept art out of Brandon's office late this evening...

It's true, men. The shark it about to be officially jumped.

12/14/2011 - 2:32am I whipped these up as a

I whipped these up as a reminder that it could always, ALWAYS be worse.

Just wait, guys. I'm calling it now; Brandon debutes extra-special maize uniforms before the 'Bama game next year. All for the sake of 'the brand'.

12/14/2011 - 1:43am I would actually prefer these

I would actually prefer these over the maize pants. 100%. 

There is historical precedent (during Bo's tenure) for white-on-white, and this is a serviceable modern approximation of that look.

I just wish, above all, that we could find an away uniform sans ridiculous patches/piping/etc. and stick with it.

11/26/2011 - 4:33pm Denard Robinson has cemented

Denard Robinson has cemented his place as legendary.

Sure, he may lack the traditional skills we ascribe to Michigan quarterbacks, but he has been the rock of gibraltar for our program over the past three seasons.

Try to imagine this entire era without Denard; one simply can't! He has been the bright spot in an otherwise dismal stretch of football. He has been through the ups and downs, and now he finally took The Game in a five-touchdown performance.

Denard is a quintessential Michigan Man.

 

11/26/2011 - 4:26pm The new era is here. A new

The new era is here. A new day is dawning. Except beating Ohio now is so much better than it was before.

I realized today that this is the sweetest win over Ohio I've ever witnessed. We went through years of defeat. Bleak, hopeless seasons. But by traversing the lowest canyon, we can now fully appreciate how it feels to be on the mountaintop.

Am I getting sentimental? Yes. Am I half-drunk? Yes. Has Hoke just changed everything? You bet your ass he has.

Go Blue.

11/26/2011 - 1:18am Thanks for the heads-up. I

Thanks for the heads-up. I just re-uploaded and edited to imgur links. Does everything look/load alright? I originally just made this as a forum post, but then it got front-paged and all hell broke loose!

In other news... BEAT OHIO.

11/26/2011 - 12:51am Thank you for the kind words,

Thank you for the kind words, sir!

Are there bandwidth issues with the images? I uploaded them to my run-of-the-mill photobucket account. They seem to be loading fine for me, but are you getting a 'bandwidth' exceeded' message or slow loading?

Let me know; if anybody has some web space, send me a reply. Would moving them over to flickr and re-linking in an edit help?

11/26/2011 - 12:13am Ladies and gentlemen... I

Ladies and gentlemen... I present to you all the honor, determination, vigilance, and intensity we will ever need. I present to you a man beyond reproach, a man capable of beating the entire state of Ohio with one hand tied behind his back... Ladies and gentlemen, Bennie Joppru.

The bards will sing songs about our victory spearheaded by the spirit of Joppru.

11/25/2011 - 11:00pm You're right. Such images are

You're right. Such images are in poor taste.

I will atone for it with this delicious memory...

11/25/2011 - 10:39pm (No subject)

11/25/2011 - 10:19pm Updated as per your

Updated as per your suggestion.

BEAT OHIO!

11/25/2011 - 10:16pm UPDATED: Now Cook and Coleman

UPDATED: Now Cook and Coleman are honored. I could update again if you guys want me to include Tacopants.

01/12/2011 - 3:37am I didn't see the facebook

I didn't see the facebook post. What was said?

I hate to say it, but my gut is telling me that Tate has played his last game in a Michigan uniform.

01/12/2011 - 3:27am One of the major plusses with

One of the major plusses with Borges is his ability to develop quarterbacks. All the scuttlebutt on Borges is that QB development is his calling card, of sorts. In a post-Denard Michigan (hopefully in three years), I'd like to see us become an NFL quarterback factory yet again. Borges gives recruits the chance to improve substantially in their time in Ann Arbor.

I can't wait to see how he's going to tailor his scheme to our current personnel, though. He seems like a nimble enough offensive mind to find a good middle-ground. After all, didn't Brandon say that scheme flexibility was important in the hiring process?

I'm already anxious for spring ball and the first stirrings about our offensive strategy going forward.

01/12/2011 - 3:20am It's a good sign, at least,

It's a good sign, at least, that Denard was at the team meeting. Mike Cox confirmed that he was there. Tate, however, was not. May the speculation begin. Cox is also a very artful dodger of media questions...

 

12/30/2010 - 11:41pm I live in Nashville. While

I live in Nashville. While there are exceptions, roughly 95% of the Tennessee fanbase is comprised of morbidly obese, loud, obnoxious, mouth-breathing troglodytes who are unaware that any conferences exist outside the SEC.

I had reached a quiet, uneasy peace with them. But as they descended into my beloved city in droves, it was too much. I have heard, for a solid week, nothing but smack talk and gushing praise for their conference and how a .500 team in the SEC will "DESTROY" North Carolina. Then, upon hearing I was a Michigan fan, I was told Michigan would not win 3 games in the SEC. I simply smiled and waited... Then this happened...


Their tears are so fucking delicious. They're out there in the streets now, drunkenly denying they lost... but in their hearts, they know they did.

What a glorious day.

12/28/2010 - 3:46pm And the alley-oop ends it,

And the alley-oop ends it, for all intents and purposes.

Purdue is awful for us match-up wise. We need to forget this one ever happened and move on; there are some tough games coming up.

12/28/2010 - 3:38pm God, this Purdue team is

God, this Purdue team is frustratingly veteran and clutch.

Every time it looks like we've made a big, momentum-changing play (like Hardaway's dunk), Purdue answers with a tough, momentum-crushing shot.

12/28/2010 - 3:34pm Since it's back out to 11, we

Since it's back out to 11, we need a guy to catch fire. Who's it going to be?

Douglass hitting some timely threes could be the answer. Let's give him some shots.

12/28/2010 - 3:31pm It's a bit of both,

It's a bit of both, methinks.

One thing I've noticed today is that we're really cheating down low and leaving guys open on the perimeter.

That being said, they're shooting well. We need to stem the tide.

12/28/2010 - 3:16pm Jesus, here we go

Jesus, here we go again...

We need to cut this lead to about 4 or 5 by the 10 minute mark. That needs to be the goal.

12/28/2010 - 3:09pm +100,000 Thank you, good

+100,000

Thank you, good sir. The stream went down and panic set in, but BlockM swoops in to the rescue.

In regards to the game...

We need to slow it down a bit in the second half and shorten the game. If we can take care of the ball, hit some timely shots, and get Morris out of the gutter then we'll be in business.

12/25/2010 - 1:00am Indeed. I maintain that in

Indeed. I maintain that in the future, it will become our generation's Citizen Kane.

12/25/2010 - 12:56am A few ideas...

"Divine"

A few ideas...

"Divine" Gardner

Devin "God"-ner

The Constant Gardner

The Chosen One

The Magnificent Seven

Devin Christ

12/25/2010 - 12:40am Thank you for the kind words,

Thank you for the kind words, good sir. I will reciprocate by adding you to my list of this year's best posters.

In no particular order:

UMAizinBlue - A man of wit, enthusiasm, and devotion who exemplifies the Schembechlerian ideal of a Michigan Man.

Shredder - Shredder's awe-inspiring MSPaint creations spurred on my own creativity and set a high-water mark in the world of MGoVisualArts.

Magnus - This is obligatory, but obligatory for a reason. Magnus has accrued many MGoPoints, but not by pandering to the majority. He possesses a rapist wit and has the power to end a discussion with a mere sentence. Board legend.

jhackney - Nuclear 'splosions everywhere! Followed, of course, by his own brand of humor and insight.

aaamichfan - Easily the best avatar in the MGoCommunity. His posts are amusing and often prescient. Cheers, sir.

Boyz in da Pahokee - The king of uploads. The keeper of the Michigan Jedi holocron. The Sultan of Streams. Your tireless work has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

There are certainly others that I've failed to add to the list. These were just a few that spring to my somewhat drunken mind at the moment. Thank you all for making this the best community on the interwebz. I'm a displaced Wolverine living in Nashville, and the MGoBoard feels like going home again in 5- and 10-minute chunks.

Happy Holidays, all.

12/24/2010 - 12:31am There are...



...days

There are...

...days until March 17th, 2011. There is nothing significant about this date; I was just looking for an excuse to post a picture of Bennie Fucking Joppru.

12/23/2010 - 7:39am Time for a few more to add to

Time for a few more to add to the roster...


Jim Harbaugh is Harvey Dent/Two-Face. He's charismatic, successful, and is seen by many as a legitimate hope for the future. Trouble is, while he's guiding Gotham's police on a city-wide clampdown, he's also badmouthing our academic standards through the other side of his mouth.

 

Calvin Magee is Lucius Fox. At the darkest times in his fight against the underworld, who does Bruce turn to? His wise black confidant Lucius Fox. Magee is a rotund Lucius, constantly talking about the technical aspects of defeating the enemy.

 

Vincent Smith is V. He has dash, poise, and a revolutionary killer instinct. Replace the straight wig with flowing, chaotic dreadlocks of anarchy and the deal is sealed.

 

Roy Roundtree is Spider-Man (aka Peter Parker). Two words: sticky fingers. The guy could scale walls if he wanted to, he just doesn't do it in the quad because it freaks people out. After a Spider-Man 2-esque crisis wherein he temporarily lost his powers (the Ohio State game), he will re-emerge in the Gator Bowl as the slender, web-slinging phenom we've grown accustomed to seeing.

12/22/2010 - 2:52pm No offense taken, good sir.

No offense taken, good sir. The trouble with the interwebs is things can get lost in translation.

And you're right... I spent about 3 times longer on the Martin one than the others. Now that finals are over, the daytime hours are spent dicking around in Photoshop on my laptop and pining for the Gator Bowl.

12/22/2010 - 2:26pm I was trying to think of

I was trying to think of someone who would fit Captain America on our roster... but sadly nobody sprang to mind. That's only natural, though... Because Captain America lives in Iowa.


12/22/2010 - 1:51pm I agree. GERG needs to be

I agree. GERG needs to be included. However, he isn't Alfred Pennyworth.

 

 

 

GERG is Rachel Dawes.

12/22/2010 - 1:41pm Good call on Lewan. He has

Good call on Lewan. He has Hellboy's short temper and fiery mentality, but he also has a heart of gold underneath his rugged facade.

Taylor Lewan is Hellboy.

12/22/2010 - 1:22pm Genius! Boren has been added

Genius! Boren has been added to the Rogues Gallery of arch-villains.

Justin Boren is The Blob.

12/22/2010 - 12:45pm In response to the above

In response to the above posts regarding Wolverine... I think I've cracked it. There is only one man with the musculature, testosterone, and feral drive to wear the dreaded adamantium claws...


Mike Barwis is Wolverine.

12/22/2010 - 12:34pm I  may actually have to

I  may actually have to change my pick for Robin. After posting, it hit me that Tate is not, in fact, the Boy Wonder. There's only one man for the job...

 

12/05/2010 - 5:36pm While I'm glad we are getting

While I'm glad we are getting the opportunity to play in a bowl on New Year's Day, I can't help but feel a little disappointed.

A team like Tennessee would have been a great match-up because of the storylines: our attempt to avenge our loss to them in 2002, two proud programs looking to rebound, storied powers going at it.

Defeating Mississippi State will be arguably more difficult and will bring with it much less glory. What did we expect, though? Coach Rod rarely catches a break.

That being said, I'm not belly-aching. I can't wait to watch the game. Above all else, it's a chance to humble the incestuous hive that is the SEC.

12/03/2010 - 3:29pm Let's see that pencil-necked

Let's see that pencil-necked Groban kid tweet while he's being skullfucked by Mike Barwis.

You just sealed for your fate, Groban.

12/03/2010 - 3:25pm The public's reaction to this speech...

The public's reaction to this speech proves that the disappointment of the past three seasons, trepidation about the future of Michigan, and concern for the welfare of our student athletes are all overshadowed by the fact that people really fucking hate Josh Groban.

12/02/2010 - 11:13pm Naumachia...

Naumachia in the Big House, anyone? Who's with me?!

12/02/2010 - 10:04pm I'll be cackling at haters

I'll be cackling at haters between sips of my beer when Denard runs off the field waggling one finger like this guy.

Ballsy call. I love it.

12/02/2010 - 9:48pm Rich Rodriguez has been fed

Rich Rodriguez has been fed nothing but a shit sandwich since his arrival in Ann Arbor. Think about what has befallen Coach Rod since December of 2007...

- His couch-burning departure from West Virginia and death threats to his family.

- Instant suspicion from the old guard at Michigan coupled with dissention in the athletic department.

- Fielding a 2008 team devoid of any personnel with which to run even a rough approximation of his spread offense.

- Being forced to start freshman and sophomore quarterbacks for two consecutive years.

- Triumphing by bringing in a vaunted recruit in the defensive secondary (Demar Dorsey), only to have that fall through followed by Warren's departure, Woolfolk's injury, the Cissoko debacle, Emilien's woes, and countless other issues. Then, he is publicly blamed for not recruiting enough talent in the secondary.

- NCAA sanctions that were completely overblown made even worse by a complete lack of support from the local press.

- Constant rumors about his impending firing and who his successor may or may not be.

Rich Rodriguez is still standing at the end of all that mayhem. His players still believe in him and his system. That, alone, is a testament to his skill as a motivator and his strength as a man. I love Coach Rod and I'm cheering harder for him than any coach in Michigan history.

"Those who stay will be champions", Bo said. Coach Rod has stayed around, bedraggled and bruised but full of resolve. No matter how you feel about Brandon's upcoming decision, you have to respect and admire Coach Rodriguez.

12/02/2010 - 9:27pm As bad as this hurts (if Hart

As bad as this hurts (if Hart flips), it has taught me (and perhaps many others) an important lesson...

The verbal commitment of an 18-year-old kid is nothing to get excited about. I'm simply done getting all worked up about the comings and goings of fickle recruits.

Until a player is wearing a winged helmet, he's just another player to me. And while Hart would be a great asset to the team, he is not yet a member of the team. Therefore, I will not cry for Dee Hart.

12/02/2010 - 2:31pm I think I've tried to block

I think I've tried to block out of my mind how competitive those games were because it's less painful to remember them as blowouts.

Truth is, if we didn't shoot ourselves in both feet over and over again in those conference losses two or three of them would have been toss-ups at the end of the game.

12/02/2010 - 2:15pm Bullshit. Feldman's REAL Top

Bullshit. Feldman's REAL Top 10...

1. Stand By Me (1986)

2. The Goonies (1985)

3. The Lost Boys (1987)

4. Gremlins (1984)

5. License to Drive (1988)

6. Meatballs 4 (1992)

7. Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever (1991)

8. The 'burbs (1989)

9. Friday the 13: A New Beginning (1985)

10. Blown Away (1992)

*Honorable mention: Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) and Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)

12/02/2010 - 3:23am I have no problem with the

I have no problem with the players themselves flashing those Nike gloves. They're just kids and they rightfully got excited.

What bothers me is Ohio State's decision to allow Nike to turn The Game into a fashion show. Even with all the hollow talk about "honoring the 1942 team", the Pro Combat uniforms from Nike are nothing more than a chance to showcase how 'superior' their 'sweat-wicking, high-performance' technology is. The school's identity and tradition take a backseat to Nike's attempt to take over the world of sports apparel. Whenever corporate interests encroach upon something I love, I take issue with it.

I tuned in hoping to see the winged helmets versus the silver bullets. Oh well. At least we held up our end of the bargain.

12/01/2010 - 11:52pm Well played, sir. Quite the

Well played, sir. Quite the rogues gallery there. Zook as Sandman is especially fitting. They both have a distinct crocodilian, Brylcreem-and-Old-Spice creepiness to them.

12/01/2010 - 10:34pm After every  touchdown, those

After every  touchdown, those Ohio State players looked at the cameras and held up their 'O' signs as if it was a meaningful gesture of school pride.

In reality, they were happily getting their shit pushed in by their corporate masters at Nike who had pimped the Buckeyes' team, aesthetic, and tradition out for the day to sell gloves to 13-18 year olds.

Fuck Nike and fuck Ohio State. They deserve each other. At least they flagged them for it.

12/01/2010 - 7:38pm Agreed. He'd be great for our

Agreed. He'd be great for our fledgling defense if he could turn his act around... But getting kicked off Florida's football team for character issues is like getting kicked out of Ohio for being too ugly.

12/01/2010 - 6:26pm Indeed. 

And if Harbaugh's

Indeed. 

And if Harbaugh's past statements about our academics are any indication, then he, too, is torn by the very same ambivalence as Harvey Two-Face.