Member for

7 years 8 months
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Recent Comments

Date Title Body
04/26/2011 - 1:09pm tOSU alumni

I wonder if the immortal photo of that fat slobbering Buckeye fan with one malnourished slobbering Buckeye fan under each arm (yes, that photo) depicts alumni or just WalMart Buckeyes---which is kind of like asking one to contrast between the color red and the color red.  Either way, they'll probably trade program integrity for wins over M--or tats--any day of the week.

04/11/2011 - 11:24pm Well said...and don't forget January 11th

I'll second that and add that the end of the descent should be scooched up from the date of Greg Mattison's hiring to January 11th, the date of Brady Hoke's hiring.  Mattison wouldn't be here but for Brady Hoke---period.  He was was quite clear that there was only one coach on the planet who could lure him from the NFL.  Hoke magic = a damn good head coach who has the mettle to attract other damn good coaches (not to be confused with the damn good football teams of Les Miles).  

01/18/2011 - 12:43pm Eh!

Pasties and points to you both, yooper cousins!  And that's pass-tees, not paste-ees by the way for those unfamiliar with the legendary dietary staple. 

01/14/2011 - 1:08pm No

No, the "Hoke Push" (whatever that is), is not a bit much.  When this place erupted with peanut butter and jelly time ecstasy when RR was hired, I dont recall all of this really true, deep, genuine "concern" over whether the RR push was "a bit much."  I know, I know, the former M players didn't line up to publicly love RR--that really surprised me in light of all the years they spent getting to know RR and play for him---oh wait.  This site has become hilarious.  The rest of the blogosphere is settling into looking forward and we're wrapped up in a ball of angst over:

1. Are all sub 200 posters really plants from the AD's office?  Oh no!  They MUST be! Why else would they possibly support this hire? That's what that winged helmet jet was doing!! it was travelling around the country recruiting sub 200 posters to carpet bomb this site with Pro Hoke content!

2. Anyone who supports Hoke MUST have been an RR hater.  There's just no other possible explanation as to why someone would support this hire!  Wait, you say that all Hoke haters were former RR jocksniffers?  IMPOSSIBLE! 

3. A PR company must have coordinated the content of all media outlets to joinlty support this new coach.  It couldn't possibly be that this new coach is a known quantity to these media outlets from his 8 successful years at M--and that he---wait for it--earned their respect.  No that's IMPOSSIBLE.

4. The intelligent fan MUST withhold all positive sentiment for this coach because, after all, the jury is "still out."  Hey, he hasn't proven anything yet...and if he goes 15-22 in the next 3 years, we'll KNOW he was a bad hire and that RR should've never been fired...oh wait.

5. If Coach Hoke doesn't bend, and shape his entire coaching philosophy EXACTLY around the talent that is on campus at this very second, then he sucks and was a bad hire.  Because, after all, any coach who forces existing talent to adapt to his divergent system MUST suck...oh wait.

Nice.  Real nice.

01/10/2011 - 9:42pm Actually-

He's been a member for 15 minutes and 10 seconds,,,about three minutes less than how long it takes Brett Bielema to read the M Club banner.

01/10/2011 - 7:05pm Hackney's Time Machine-

Reading your post transports me back to the 2400 wing of Couzens Hall in the fall of 1990 when I first heard that term uttered.  I aksed, "What the heck is that?"  It was explained to me...in gag-reflex-inducing detail...and its entre into my vocabulary became a dubious part of the mosaic of my college odyssey.  A new term learned...a vile arrow in the lexicon quiver to be used sparingly upon a few worthy targets.  A term that is more than a term...a term that casts its net upon an unfortunate swath of synonymous people...not just people, coaches...not just coaches...a coach...a single coach...one who looks like he's in a perpetual state of digesting that very thing while muttering about pride coming before a fall and fall coming before winter and about how little Mike Hart is (while quietly conceding how big Hart's pimp hand was for 4 years).

One should always practice good hygene in the nether region by scraping the Dantonio off of one's Bielema.

01/10/2011 - 12:14pm Blaaaahh!!

"Who wants chowder?"

01/09/2011 - 11:25am Agreed-

And FWIW, the former LSU AD had this to add about Les (sorry if you've seen this posted a thousand times already):

“He has a lot of morality, you don’t find it in many people, let alone many coaches. He won’t try to make more money by pretending that he wants to go to Michigan. That’s extraordinarily rare. I was an AD for a long time. Some coaches they really don’t want to go, but pretend they do.

“He’s a classy guy, a wonderful guy, a great father and a great community member. Yeah, sure he could be a good coach at Michigan, but I don’t think so.”

Yea, I know, consider the source...but I'll concede that this "source" knows a hell of a lot more about the person he's talking about than any of us do huddled in front of our computers thousands of miles away.  Just sayin'

 

01/07/2011 - 10:28pm Holy Cow, Part III

Your point on the merit of RR's firing is well taken--I get it.  We could spar all night about his judgment with the defense and special teams or we can focus on the offense only.,,which had its own struggles against better teams down the stretch.  Maybe more time would've ironed this all out--maybe more time would've have RR eventually asking the same question that Darryl Rogers did.  Either way, it's moot.  He's gone.  I thought that DB was pretty clear about the red letter game priority that he placed on the job duty.  You can disagree with his emphasis on this priority but if you're an incoming coach, you know what's expected of you from this AD to keep your job.  If that nugget of up-front clarity counts for anything, it counts to make the job a worthwhile challenge--not toxic.

Did Fitz, a Chicago boy, former player for NU, married to NU gal, self-professed NU lover taking himself out of consideration surprise anyone?  Is it a surprise that JH has NFL dreams?  Dungy's remarks could be interpreted in a couple of ways. 

I'm just not ready to flatline the M job just because every guy whose face the media chooses to thrust a mic at doesn't gush about us--at least publicly.  

Let's just relax--your remark about stepping away from the computer is a good idea--we should all do it for a little during this whacked time.  Enjoy your upcoming graduation and rest assured that the successes that the guy on your avatar enjoyed will make their way back sooner rather than later. 

(and I'm relieved that you're not 14 years old or else I'd have felt wholly inadequate for graduating at the ripe old age of 21)

01/07/2011 - 10:05pm Ok

I totally opened myself up for that one.

01/07/2011 - 9:47pm Holy Cow

I'll take a wild guess that our AD is not "retarded" so you can all exhale.  Can we all relax?  This notion of shock over RR's firing "after three fucking seasons" kind of ignores a lot of shit that even those of us like myself who were ok with giving him a 4th year must acknowledge.  It's not like some magical pimp hand from the sky suddenly cold-cocked a coach who was kicking all forms of ass on the field.  I wont go into all of the infamous records that RR broke in his 3 years with M--we all know them by heart.  I would've been happy if he could find one frick'n guy to kick a 30 frick'n yard field goal. 

I understand that a lot of folks who are current M students or who are graduating in May are acquainted with RR in a way that others of us are not.  He's the only coach the current students have known.  For others like myself, it's different.  Bo & Mo coached while I was on campus and I've seen Lloyd and RR since.  Lots of different action there--lots of success too.  It's a perspective that lends itself to less surprise and disappointment over the RR outcome. 

The decision to fire RR was not cronyism...actually, I couldn't give a crap if it was.  May the best coach guide the team,

Rest assured that the M job is not toxic.  M is not the Detroit Lions organization whose coach, Darryl Rogers once asked, "What does a coach have to do around here to get fired?"  That, my friend, is a toxic job.  Not the M job where the standards are sky high...not by a long shot. 

Have a little faith that a man with the extraordinary life accomplishments, education and intelligence of our AD is not "retarded" (may that term burn in hell).  And have faith that the moment M starts winning again we'll all forget about our past adolescent-chick, freak-outs about whether the M job somehow lost its luster.  We'll be fine. 

As they say in St. Lucia, "No Problems."

01/07/2011 - 8:18pm A malodorous shocker

The title made me think that someone named "Leach" had pinched a horrific duece that stunk up the whole house.

01/07/2011 - 7:51pm That is hilarious-

PSH called...he wants his face back.  It never clicked for me as to why I kept thinking of Truman Capote and suspected nefarious priests whenever I saw Patterson's face...that is, until you cut through the Gordian Knot for me with that astute observation. 

Imaginary points to you, friend.

01/06/2011 - 2:14pm Well said--thank you-

As Ed McMahon used to occasionally say to Johnny, "You are correct, sir."  I'd give you a satchel full of points if I could.  Alas, I can only quote Ed McMahon. 

DB's doing a fine job and his presser did nothing to change my mind.  It's not DB's job to puke out every detail of every contact he had with everyone just so we can squeal like a bunch of chimps about the good and the bad of it--I don't want Chatty Cathy as our AD.  You'd have to be an idiot to think that the search began yesterday.  DB even discounted that by stating that having a "Plan B" is something that has always been contemplated. 

As for the Brady Hoke angle, I've got no problem with the guy.  The guy we just let go had a monstrously good run in the few years prior to his hire--and he failed here.  The stories of wierd coaching hires that turn out special (Pete Carrol at USC, Bill Belichek with the Pats) are legion.  Lets all relax and trust our AD.  I think he's earned as much. 

There's also something to be said about a guy who adores M as much as Hoke does...a guy who has the balls and moral honesty to tell his current employer that his career goal is to coach someplace else.  To me, that's refreshing.  It's the fabric of a guy who will clearly communicate the singular importance of beating OSU and MSU rather than just "awe shucks"-ing through a muddled remark about how all of the games are important.  Does his M love make him a better coach.  At the very least it makes him a much better recruiter.  And yes, the guy can coach. That said, he's among many qualified candidates.  Perhaps he won't be "the one" but damnit, he's not a steaming pile of coaching crap either.  Yeesh. 

01/05/2011 - 7:55pm I know...

That sounded really stupid back when Bo was preaching it too.  Did you miss the part where DB explained that the strength of the B10 usually places its winner in a position to contend for a national championship? 

How about we figure out how to beat Michigan Agricultural College and then worry about winning a f**king national championship.   

12/15/2010 - 12:42pm Arby's yu(ck)mm!

Bart Simpson once said, "I'm so hungry I'd even eat at Arby's." Finding myself in a similar predicament, I once ate there after a period of being hungry. Well, that was special.  It's one thing to be regular and an entirely different thing to be unstoppable.  Thanks for that Arby's.  Next time I see a dog outside of one of your stores staring at the building with an, "Et tu Brute" look on its face, I'll know the truth about what you guys are churning out.

As for the logo on the jersey, yea...I need no further reminders of that place.

12/13/2010 - 9:21pm Sparty yesss!

My vote's for the Dantonio-Bielema award for narcissistic coach most likely to scream his own name during an orgasm.

12/09/2010 - 2:06pm That one caught me off guard-

Waaay funny.  I've seen this guy's picture juxtaposed with a potato shaped like male junk (the genetically engineered "Dantonio Potato") but I wasn't aware that he had ascended to the apex of the d-bag masses.  This is great news for him. 

I'll look forward to the freep fluff piece to follow.

12/08/2010 - 12:32pm Wilbon duh

The only thing that scares me more than Keyser Soze and spiders is Mike Wilbon's belief that his opinion truly has the power to move mountains. 

12/06/2010 - 9:30pm Not literal?

Glad you pointed that out.  Whew! 

12/06/2010 - 9:26pm They can dog us all they want

We won't lose to two "MSU" schools in the same season--we can't.  Although if the unthinkable did happen, I'm sure that Dantonio will find some way to take credit for it during recruiting visits.  I try to convince myself every day that that man doesn't have body parts neatly packaged and stuffed in his freezer.

12/06/2010 - 8:47pm Brandon

On January 2, Dave probably wakes up, drinks a bloody mary, golfs 18, sucks down a dozen oysters on the half-shell for lunch, eats a toilet seat-sized-steak for dinner, slugs down a stoli, goes to bed, expels a 10 second 4 octave fart, goes to sleep...and wakes up on January 3rd to tell his coach that he's done a hell of a job and will STAY to be a champion.

12/06/2010 - 8:34pm Domino's Dave

I trust that he'll keep rr.  What puzzles me, however, is the urgency on the part of Domino's to convince me that their pizza is NOT made from toe nail clippings, red fingerpaint and buffalo snot.  That never crossed my mind...that is...until those ads came out.  

12/06/2010 - 8:05pm Backstory

Some of the shout outs have a legit reason.  Aaron Rodgers mentioned some unknown school instead of Cal during one game.  The announcers later mentioned that it was a JuCo he had attended.  He apparently just wanted to give them a little public high five.

I, for one, would always say "Michigan!" though the temptation to have my grade school bask in the public spotlight for that fleeting moment would be very hard to resist.

12/06/2010 - 7:13pm I can't quit you!!

Kill must have been quite the coach...such to the extent that he left quite a taste in his players mouths.

     "I have a horrible taste in my mouth and want to get that taste out," NIU quarterback Chandler Harnish told the Rockford Register Star.
 

Nice.  Helmets, pads, jerseys and a tsunami of Listerine.  Go get 'em Gophers!!!

12/06/2010 - 12:35pm Oregon's tradition-

I hear that the next trend setting move will be to break out the ass-less pants for their game against Auburn.  That should be mint. 

12/04/2010 - 9:49am Groban talking smack?

The priceless part of the article is this:

Groban also took a mild swing at Rodriguez on his Twitter account.

"Coach Rodriguez, I'm very flattered but crying to You Raise Me Up is SO five years ago. #playwelcometothejungle"

I never heard of Groban until all this happened.  It appears that he has enjoyed some success in the music industry--success that I was completely and blissfully unaware of until the football bust.  When his monstrous talent is counterbalanced against the fact that so many have lived their day-to-day lives unaware of his existence, one can only draw a single conclusion--he is a ninja. 

A ninja who deserves to have his very little dong punched by a very little hand.

12/03/2010 - 1:54pm The Boxer. Definitely The Boxer.

"In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains"

12/03/2010 - 1:08pm wwbd?

--apologies for running a bit long--

Yes, richrod lost me for a good while around the time of the PSU game and for most of the time since.  As this coaching controversy reaches an operatic pitch, I figured I could either stare at my imaginary what-would-bo-do bracelet or I could self-medicate by cracking open the oldie but goodie biography, "Bo." Bo's last fall of coaching was my freshman year at M so I got a glimpse of the final flickering embers of the legendary era.  As I read the top of page 29 of the book, I couldn't help but smile--my criticism of our coach was being challenged by the contents of a book that predates this controversy by 20 or so years.  To paraphrase would be an injustice.  Therefore, allow me to quote:

"The Northwestern experience was interesting because here we were, working under one of the greatest minds in college football, Ara Parseghian, and yet in 1957, my second year there, we lost every game we played.  Every single game.  We were 0-9, the only losing team I ever coached.  How did it happen?  The talent wasn't there.  And we had no leadership amonst the seniors.

"And yet, as wierd as this sounds, that might have been Ara's finest year of coaching--only because, through all of those defeats, he never cracked, he never made his coaches feel inferior, and he never stopped trying new things.  I never met anyone with that kind of football imagination....During meetings after each loss, Ara would say to us, 'Listen, I know this isn't a great year.  But you guys are not to blame.  We'll get through this.  We will turn it around.'"

That passage struck me.  The perspective it gives leaves me less critical of a coach who is encountering similar circumstances and appears to be dealing with them in an equally admirable way.  In the end, however, whether Rich Rod, Rich Little, James Harbaugh or James Brown is caoching M, I still say...

Go Blue!

12/01/2010 - 12:55pm As a fellow low pointer...

I echo your sentiments.  Alas, a crusade cannot be...pointless.

12/01/2010 - 12:23pm Smashing watermelons

I hope that his helmet wasn't rigged (or wigged) like Gallagher's cap.

11/30/2010 - 8:00pm Does GERG even need a pillow?

If he used one, would his neck snap?

11/30/2010 - 7:40pm A lion among lambs

Barry was the best.  Not many Lions fans in my neck of the woods but that didn't matter.  We all wanted to watch him rip 80 for a TD--even if he was playing against our team!

11/30/2010 - 6:40pm Chill-

get off the ledge.  That's all I'm saying. 

11/30/2010 - 1:26pm Dude get off of the ledge

Your heart is on ther verge of suffering from a "lifelong hangover" (which is some pretty heavy hanging-over) and yet this potentially spiritually terminal condition will be completely cured by giving the guy that you "fucking love" just ONE "make or brake year-no extra questions asked." If I fucking loved a guy, I think that would earn the ol' chap at least another decade to either spread his wings or shit the bed.  How about if we stop acting like our millionaire coach is getting some life-diminishing raw deal just because some fans have the nerve to wonder whether going 1-13 against MSU, OSU, Wiscy, PSU and Iowa in 3 years has something, just something to do with coaching. Gees, man, talk about drama!