Your MGoAvatar is the new HC for The Game

Submitted by MGoKereton on November 25th, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I'm tired of being sad, so I figured why not have a little fun leading up to The Game.

Your MGoAvatar is now the new head coach at Michigan.  Congratulations!

-How would you prepare/motivate your players?

-Pregame rituals before The Game?

-How would you deal with the media?

 

Have FUN (seriously, no negative crap) and go crazy.

 

 

Comments

BiSB

November 25th, 2013 at 12:57 PM ^

SQUIRREL!!!

EDIT: also, lots of hitch-and-go routes with a pump fake on the hitch: "HE THREW THE BALL I'M GOING TO GET THE BALL WHERE IS THE BALL?"

DealerCamel

November 25th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^

Blue portal stays in the end zone, orange portal gets shot wherever Devin happens to be at the time, we win 174-0 and break the all-time Michigan scoring record in a crazy season where we set both highs and lows for the offense.

htownwolverine

November 25th, 2013 at 12:59 PM ^

Mine is my eldest when he was three ( 7 now) so:

1) Complete Super Marios Wii U all the way through, including hidden levels.

2) Sing the Sponge Bob Squarepants theme song before the game.

3) Ask them if they have Juicy Juice and Goldfish to snack on while answereing their quesitons.

BILG

November 25th, 2013 at 1:01 PM ^

info comes out about me covering up for all my criminal players at Florida.  NCAA comes down hard and suspends me until further notice.

LOL, who we kidding...NCAA having actual ethics or authority to administer said ethical conduct.

WMUgoblue

November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^

  1. I'd focus more on looking like a good successful team, rather than actually trying to be one.
     
  2. Just your average pregame Safety Dance.
     
  3. Tell them I needed to find a cure for boneitis, or there would be a new coaching vacancy next season.

quigley.blue

November 25th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^

I am the night fury, I will attempt to BURN DOWN THEIR HOUSES AND EAT THEM, and they will work very hard to have this not happen.  I think this will improve their speed and agility, OR THEY WILL DIE. 

My pregame ritual will be TO TRY TO EAT THEM,  they will avoid this with their speed and agility, OR THEY WILL DIE.

THE MEDIA WILL DIE.

mGrowOld

November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^

 I know next to absolutely nothing about football but I do know that proper stretching will reduce the risk of injuries and a delicious pre-game meal made of Gluten-free noodles and baked vegitables will reduce the risk of cancer and other illnesses.

And this is a very creative and funny thread idea by the way.  Good job OP!

 

Mgotri

November 25th, 2013 at 1:49 PM ^

Stretching does not necessarily reduce the risk of injuries: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15233597. There are more studies on both sides, but the ones in favor of stretching tend to be older. FWIW, I have been a non-stretcher for almost 15 years and have had two injuries. In both cases the cause was muscles being too loose (which allowed tendons to get pinched inbetween joints). Of course, n=1 and it seems as though Mrs. mgrowold's plan is working for her...

MikeCohodes

November 25th, 2013 at 1:04 PM ^

I have aged since the avatar photo was taken, I am now 23 months old. I prepare for the game by drinking apple juice. I motivate my players by throwing my sippy cup at them if they don't make me happy. I call plays by picking up blocks from my favorite block puzzle, the plays will be written on the underside of the piece by my loyal assistant coach/dad.

In positive news, I can now say Michigan, Go Blue, Wolverines, and Ohio Stinks thanks to dedicated positive reinforcement by my loyal assistant coach/dad.

johnvand

November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^

  1. Do Roids.
  2. Have our buddies kill a guy.
  3. Throw our blood soaked clothes away.
  4. Testify against our buddies.
  5. Become Super Bowl MVP one year later.
  6. Announce retirement.
  7. Start using banned substances because they'll never catch us with just two games left until retirement.
  8. Win Another Super Bowl.
  9. Ride fictional death raven in Old Spice Ad.

Captain Hindsight

November 25th, 2013 at 1:05 PM ^

You see the scoreboard up there?  We should have scored more points than the opposing team.  We should have gained more yards and played better defense.

Well, looks like my job here is done.  Goodbye everyone!

lexus larry

November 25th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^

Mock your intelligence in pressers for asking stupid questions

Call everyone around him "IDIOTS" (including DB)

Pop a vicodin (perhaps offer to share with injured players...or even wounded MGoBloggers)

Search for the root cause of what ails M Football after 2-3 rounds of futility

Scheme, manipulate people

Solve the problem himself, wearing a headset and firing Borges midway through the 2nd quarter of the 2nd game of total ineptitude...

Whip out his Stratocaster and join the MMB duirng the halftime show

(Thanks to the OP for a  lighter tone post...and HOUSE is MADE for this role!)

Son of Lloyd Brady

November 25th, 2013 at 1:07 PM ^

Coo and try to avoid shitting myself, ultimately failing with embarrassing futility. Then cry tears of eternal sadness realizing that there no longer is Denard to grasp as he once would leap into the stands following a victory...

Dr. Merp McMerpleton

November 25th, 2013 at 1:10 PM ^

Well, since I really am a doctor, I have no business pretending I know how to propertly coach a football team.

But if I had to, I would probably take them to Bo's grave, and give the best speech of my life the night before the game.  

Then make sure everyone was cycling appropriately on their steroids.  Poison the water wherever Ohio was staying to make sure half the team got some form of digestive disease.  And still pray to God we had a chance.