The Wreck of the RR Fitzgerald
So when I read the post earlier "Perfect Storm"
http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/perfect-storm
I thought to myself ahhhh, what!?!? I have now heard it all, Rich's tenure compared to the Edmund Fitzgerald. After wondering what the hell was going on I decided the next logical step in this crazy comparison was to rewrite the damn song, (crazy in itself, I know) it makes about as much sense as the damn OP.
Props to my boy Gordon Lightfoot for the original words I was able to parody.
So here it is in all its glory boys...now I just hope you enjoy it!
The Wreck of the Richard Rodriguez
The legend lives on from The Brown Jug on down
Of the stadium that they call the Big House
The House, it is said, never gives up her Stead
When the games of November turn gloomy.
With a roster and core – Just as good as before?
Some said Lloyd Carr left the cupboard empty
This good team of blue was a bone to be chewed
When the games of November came early
The new coach was the pride of the hillbilly side
In a state people call West Virginia
As big coaches go his name was bigger than most
But not as big as his buyout
Some papers went POOF? Phone calls to recruits
Then they left fully loaded for A squared
Its all for naught but 3 terrible years for a yacht
Les was a Hailing, while Martin was sailing
The ire of the freep and alums dug in deep
And no more waves broke out in the Big House
And every fan knew, as the Coach did, too,
T'was the games of 08’ left them seething.
First downs came too late and the touchdowns had to wait
When the games of 09’ came a slashing
Saturday afternoons came and we cried like a dame
Leaving us long for Saturdays of hash bashing
With 2010 done “to watch them was fun”
Some said David, its too rough to keep um
As a man tried and true, David gave him his due
Some said Coach it's been good to know ya.
The Coach wired in not even here Vince L. could win
And the great team and fans was in peril
Sanctions, the Freep, no wins against a rivalry
Came the wreck of Richard Rodriguez.
Does anyone know where the love of Josh Grobin goes
When the waves hello turn to flipping the bird
The Walmart-a-rines say, its time to lean Spartys way
But us true fans we never did wonder
David flew here to there, our concerns not a care
Jim, Pat,Les, A flying pizza, Flight Tracker
And through all that smoke is left one Coach Brady Hoke
Hail to the Victors our Maize and Blue backer
Ohio State rolls, Sparty nation sings
In the down years of our historic program
Old Michigan will be back, Big Ten asses we’ll stack
The Big House is for Mich-i-gan Men.
And the future will show that school in O-hi-oooo
Takes players that Michigan sends her
And Big Ten championships go as the players all know
With the games of November remembered.
In a musty old hall in Livonia they sang
At the Michigan Football Banquet
“You Raise Me Up” was sang almost 85 times
For each man coached by Richard Rodriguez.
The legend lives on from the deck of Dominics on down
Of the stadium that they call The Big House
It’s Michigan for God Sake, he said at the wake
Captain Hoke its been sure great to meet yaaaaa
February 8th, 2011 at 3:32 AM ^
Love that tune, but this sucks.
February 8th, 2011 at 7:27 AM ^
negbang creepin' 'round your back stair. Kidding, I actually like this, and don't really see it as vicious toward RR. Good work.
February 8th, 2011 at 9:40 AM ^
I thought it was pretty good....and no I don't hate RR
February 8th, 2011 at 4:56 PM ^
What is wrong with you people? This is clearly an act of parody, and a good one at that!
Here's my first Diary ever. You don't need to read it 'cause it's just depressing emo crying because it was mid-Oct. 2008 and the season had just gone down the Johnny-flusher. The salient point is that one of the first-ever replies to a Misopogon diary was:
Wow this started out funny, but seriously? Joking about a bunch of kids dying?
NOT COOL
...and Magnus correcting my spelling mistakes.
They also ripped apart my parody of Drew Sharp before anyone was like "oh wait, this guy is just making a parody of Drew Sharp."
Stop being Internet, Internet. This is 100% about fan experience, not ripping on the old coach. This blog isn't written for rival fans, or for establishing a party line. Nobody's opinions are going to change. It's just entertainment.
If you want offensive, I'll trot out my SEC song again (for those of you at my bachelor party, this is what I was actually saying):
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the whole SEC now please shut up?
I repeat, will the whole SEC now please shut up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never seen a football game before
Jaws all a yap, talkin' smack, like Knowshon just burst through the line
And started whoopin an FCS school eighty to nine.
So Auburn had a good day, and yes, our Buckeyes are gay,
And Les Miles had us all like...
"you're kidding, he does know how a clock works, don't he?"
And Paul Bryant said: ...nothing you idiots! The Bear's dead,
and you're left giving all your coaches head
SEC fans love the Big Ten [turntable]
"Bo-Woody, I'm sick of them.
"Look at them!
Running the ball up your you-know-what,
Throwing to You-know-who,"
Yeah, but they're dead, too.
Yeah, we probably got a couple of upsets to MAC schools
But no worse, than Louisiana-Monroe in Tuscaloos
Sometimes, I wanna get on ESPN and just let loose, but can't
'Cause it's colder here than the ass of a dead moose
But now my team is in your crib, my team is in your crib
And if you're lucky, we might beat you by just a little bit
And that's the message that we deliver to high school kids
And expect them to learn what a real football conference is.
Of course they gonna know what an education is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They've got a degree from Ole Miss, don't they?
"We ain't nothing but winners"
Well, some of you sinners
Who treat your student athletes like they're meat for your chicken dinners
But if you recruit by Cam's bank account (the real amount)
And Eighty-Five's too high for your coaches to count.
Then before you make another kid transfer out,
Foreshame your shady Tide mahout, here's some ethics, try 'em out:
[Chorus: x2]
I'm Big Ten, yes the Real Big Ten
Got my own fucking channel; and twice your $M$
So won't the whole SEC now please shut up,
Please shut up, please shut up?
You think I give a damn about McFadden?
We'll put that bitch on his ass like the Falcons in Madden
I hear you've got a stadium with a hundred thou seats
Well guess what, pissants, I've got three.
"But 'Ten, why don't you win,
when you come down here in Jan,
and get cock-splapped' by the conference of sin?"
'Cause I got a ticket down to Pasadena,
We'd invite you too but Stanford would cream ya.
You should play once in the snow before you're responsin'
You and me, Christmas Day, outside, in Wisconsin.
You little bitches don't know what football be,
You ain't fast, you're a tank-back from Michigan
And our cast-off QB.
And stretch the definition of a college degree
To make a "grad student" of Jeremiah Masoli
I'm sick of you little girl and boy teams,
All you do is annoy me
If your teams are so good why do you lose to Kentucky?
You know your best teams are just like me
Laying hits like they just don't give a fuck like me
Defend, and run the ball up the gut like me
You just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus x2]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you
The crap you say to everyone else who will listen to you
The only difference is I got the history to back it
Cause I was playing football when you were wearing white sheets to practice
Like back when Michigan got on field and spit it
And whether you like to admit it, Florida shit it
And ninety percent of you losers lost to them
Called the Tebow a god 'cause your "D" could not stop him
It's funny; 'cause you like to dismiss us like some old thing,
But all I see is Big Ten boys with Superbowl bling
While your "alumni" are in Arena League camps
Living in trailers off ex-cheerleaders' food stamps
And every 4-star recruit is leaving school early
He'll end up serving at Burger King,
spittin on your onion rings
Or working in Boca as my grandpa's caddy
Talking 'bout the days he called Phil Fulmer daddy.
So, won't the whole SEC just please shut up?
And take that loser flag down off your Ford truck!
Then remember when, some while ago, you started a war
And one more time, think real hard, loud as you can, how did that go?
[Chorus x2]