Who's got it better? Harbaugh answers.

I'm not supposed to publish this, but here goes:

6:00 a.m. - Apply shoe polish/molasses mixture to hair.

7:00 a.m. - Go to closed hotel bar, play Heart & Soul on bar's piano, and look around to see if anyone is listening.

7:05 a.m. - Get up from piano, go back to room, and put in old DVD of The Sports Reporters.

7:15 a.m. - Masturbate.

7:16 a.m. - Take a quick bath, being careful not to muss hair.

10:00 a.m. - Write one-sentence closing line for article.

10:00 - noon - Work backward from one-sentence closing line.   Build entire article around one-sentence closing line.

12:15 p.m. - Masturbate.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m. - Lunchable (selection may vary)

3:15 p.m. - Go to Starbucks, find shift manager, and ask why there aren't still copies of Tuesdays With Morrie on display.  Also, ask who this "Ray Lamontagne" guy is, and why his CD is on display.

3:30 p.m. - Go to just opened hotel bar, play Heart & Soul on bar's piano, and look around to see if anyone is listening.

3:35 p.m. - Get up from piano, go back to room, and put in old DVD of The Sports Reporters.  Undress.

3:40 p.m. - Curse under breath, and call in to have Cialis prescription refilled.

4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. - Work on concepts for new book Five MORE People I'd Like to Meet in Heaven.

7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. - Dinner at hotel bar (California Health Plate, No Dairy)

9:00 p.m. - While hotel bar pianist is on break, sit down and play Heart & Soul.

9:05 p.m. - Text Michael Rosenberg to tell him how he "just killed it" playing an impromptu jazz tune to an appreciative audience.

9:25 p.m. - Text Michael Rosenberg again, to tell him that Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson were in the audience, and personally congratulated Albom on Albom's jazz stylings.

9:55 p.m. - Go to hotel gift shop, buy all the sympathy and missing you themed cards, and pay cash.

10:05 p.m. - Back to hotel room, and insert thoughts from cards into articles and Five MORE People I'd Like to Meet in Heaven.

10:10 p.m. - Put in a DVD of The Sports Reporters.

11:00 p.m. - Time for bed.  Spray linens with lavender-scented linen spray that Mark Snyder gave him as a "just because" gift in 2005.  Put down a towel over hotel pillows to avoid charges for destroying the pillow cases.  Dream of Ernest Hemingway and a bear playing chess, and make note of wedging that into an article sometime soon.

Mitch Albom is dumb. 

that list in front of me. But I think he wanted to make a point about Harbaugh's drive and his focus on the moment. The story is similar to the mouse-catching incident at an Ann Arbor restaurant. 

The cup itself is unimportant. But it works as a point about seeing Harbaugh as a jackhammer, the way he sees things. 

for being arrogant. But there is no question he is a good writer and observer. And he, better than anyone else who has written about Harbaugh's return to Michigan, cogently explained in one paragraph the overriding reasons why Jim is back without reservations. 

Whether he needed a hundred phone calls and encouragement from teammates and former players to convince him, whether he needed to be wooed properly by a savvy former Bo demo player and highly effective business executive and interim AD in Jim Hackett, Harbaugh was lured back to Michigan by his past. Memories.

The days of childhood passion where he learned from his dad the phrases that have become the watchwords of his coaching lexicon. 

This is why I thought the NFL scribes were always full of shit and didn't know what interested and who motivated him in his life. 

The NFL is about top not football competition. But it's just a different scale of competition. 

It's not the competition you grew up with in your neighborhood, how you saw yourself growing up, what you experienced inside and outside the classroom. Whether at St. Francis, Tappan Middle School or Pioneer High School, always in the shadow of the Big House where his dad worked for the man and a legend. 

And if you've been around long enough at Michigan or know its history, we've known him since he was a kid. We as fans grew up with him. Which makes his rise to our coach all the more personal and celebratory. And what's more, being kind of crazy is what he is. But he was always like that. It's not new quirkiness. It was always there,  making game guarantees and then acting them out. Sort of like dreams that you have without immediate answer.  

If you weren't around for Bo telling the story of little Jimmy Harbaugh casually sitting in his office chair at Schembechler Hall, or being the first to congratulate Rick Leach on a TD, or having Bo screaming in his ear as he tugs on his jersey until he pushes him out onto the field while Harbaugh calmly listens, then you don't get what all the hullabaloo has been about Harbaugh coming back. 

We can't get Bo back. We can only conjure his pulse on the program. The guy who brings that lifeblood back is Harbaugh. And that is why today is the best day in Michigan football going forward. Who has it better than US? NOBOOOOOOOOOODY!

But then, maybe not.

That's kind of how it works for these big city writers.

Sometimes.