Way too specific predictions for 2012

Submitted by 1464 on January 10th, 2012 at 4:12 PM

I'd like to piggyback off the topic that is two spots down.  Please humor me and post your very specific prediction for next year's football season.  It does not have to do with our record at all, but let us revisit this thread a year from now to see who may have their precognition hats on today.  Perhaps the person with the most specific and accurate prediction will be treated to a round of miniature golf by THE KNOWLEDGE, one in which THE KNOWLEDGE writes out the scorecard prior to the round, just to let his tagalong know who runs this stuff.  I'll start:

Mark Dantonio will blow the MSU game.  He will do so by calling for a fake field goal slightly more than halfway through the 4th quarter, with the Spartans leading by less than a touchdown.  This field goal would have been a long attempt, and the down is 4th and 1 or 4th and 2.  Michigan chews up most of the clock and scores a touchdown to win the game. 

Bank on it.



January 10th, 2012 at 4:16 PM ^

Michigan will out-gain Alabama by 24 yards at the Jerry Dome but will lose by 10 points because of an ill-timed Robinson pick-6 late in the 3rd quarter that will shift momentum impossibly against us.


We will beat Ohio by 16 points in Columbus, and in that game, Gibbons will have 5 field goals with two matching or greater than his career long.


January 10th, 2012 at 4:19 PM ^

With 9:52 left in the second quarter of the Iowa game, and Michigan leading 14-3 and having the ball on their own 22-yard-line at 2nd and 4, Denard Robinson will hand off to Fitz Toussaint, who will gain five yards for the first down and be tackled by junior linebacker Christian Kirksey.  Brian will give Taylor Lewan a +1 on the play for blocking Iowa's Steve Bigach.  The temperature will be 49 degrees, with a moderate breeze out of the west and cloudy skies.


January 10th, 2012 at 4:22 PM ^

Michigan will lose to Alabama in the Jerry Bowl on a missed field goal in overtime.  The final scored of the game will be:

UM: 6

Bama: 9

Bama will then presume to roll through their schedule undefeated, as will Michigan, but Michigan won't get a second chance at Alabama because hey, they already played and Michigan lost.  Them's the rules after all...


Book it.

Cheesecake Wizard

January 10th, 2012 at 7:07 PM ^


Michigan will beat Alabama in the Jerry Bowl on a missed field goal in overtime.  Same score.

Both teams win out. Michigan plays Alabama in NC game, loses 21-0 with five field goals, one touchdown and a missed extra point.

Michigan decides to recind Les Miles diploma in an attempt to get rid of any karma from the mad hatter.


January 10th, 2012 at 4:27 PM ^

Michigan finishes the year 11-3 with regular season losses to Alabama and at Nebraska. After beating Ohio for the second week in a row in the B1G Championship, the Wolverines fall in Pasadena to USC for what seems like the millionth time.

Benoit Balls

January 10th, 2012 at 4:36 PM ^

after a full season, and a second spring and summer under the tutelage of Al Borges, at no time during the 2012 season will the Offense's performance cause Brian to tweet "CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING"


January 10th, 2012 at 4:38 PM ^

You can't possibly expect much more than that.  A lot of key talent is lost, and what a circus it is going to be on both offensive and defensive lines.  Too many teams on the schedule have much better experience and depth in the trenches.  I really hope Stonum is gone, because you know there will be constant media attention regarding giving a guy his 5th chance after multiple DUIs, probation violations, and jail terms.    


January 10th, 2012 at 5:17 PM ^

Talent lost? Molk will be missed, but four experienced linemen return and the OL should be excellent. The depth is obviously shaky, but if the unit can stay healthy, especially Lewan and Schofield, we should have good line play. As much as I loved Junior and Tay, Stonum and Dileo will fill in for those two nicely as the featured wideout and slot weapon respectively.

Our only hole is at DT, and considering the level of our DL coaching, I wouldn't be surprised if those guys overachieve and develop a bit. Pipkins could be a player to watch at that position too, especially later in the year.

Senior Denard in his second year with Borges, our first feature back since Hart (Minor never stayed healthy), the best secondary we've had in ages, and a veteran group at OL is a pretty good talent level IMO. We COULD go 8-4 though. I just think 9-3 or 10-2 is more likely with 11-1 possible due to Denard's high ceiling.


January 10th, 2012 at 4:45 PM ^

Denard will rush for 1053 yards and throw 12 interceptions and be  generally mediocre. Fitz will start out rushing for 600 yards in his first five games and then be hurt for parts or all of the remainder of the schedule, finishing with 975 yards. Jake Ryan will be second-team All-BigTen


January 10th, 2012 at 5:50 PM ^

Daryl Stonum will catch 3 passes for 110 yards in an opening game loss to Alabama, leading us all to speculate that he is ready to breakout.  He will finish the year with 46 catches for 603 yards and 5 tds, leading us to wonder why we would think that Daryl Stonum was going to breakout.

Denard Robinson will accumulate almost exactly the same stats as this year, but he will finish 3rd in the Heisman voting.

Brunettes will be mentioned everytime Brendan Gibbons takes the field.  When he misses a field goal, someone (probably Millen) will joke "I wonder if he was thinking about redheads."

The media will mention RichRod (on TV, in print, etc.) 126 fewer times than during this season, or 679 total times.

Arizona will finish 8-4, and RichRod will be asked what his record would be if still coaching at Michigan.

We will be happy, because Michigan football is winning again and doing it with class.  But we will win fewer games, finishing 8-4 in the regular season.  But we will be happy nonetheless.

Perkis-Size Me

January 10th, 2012 at 6:23 PM ^

Gameday will also be making its way to Ann Arbor for the MSU game, for what may possibly be a top 10 matchup.

Gholston will have at least 1-2 unsportsmanlike conducts called against him. Again. He will be suspended from the following week's game. Again.

Running game will be stuffed, but someone, whether its Gallon, Roundtree, Darboh, or whoever, will make their own 2012 edition of the "Braylon Edwards Show."

Spartan tears will taste so sweet.



January 10th, 2012 at 7:56 PM ^

Michigan will finish 14-0 with decisive victories over every opponent. Denard will win the Heisman, with only Fitz coming within 700 points of him.  Logan Tuley-Tillman will committ on September 2nd following the 38-7 beatdown of Alabama and there will be much rejoicing.   Muppets will make an appearance exactly seven times during the football season next year.  Denard's statistics: 167-253 for 2562 yards and 24 touchdowns. 178 carries for 1539 yards and 20 touchdowns.  Joe Bolden and Jake Ryan will provide the best flow of any linebacker group in the country.  Hoke will point many times and say tremendous and well a combined 2193 times in press conferences.  Urban Meyer will throw his headset after giving up a 57 yard scramble TD to Denard with 9:28 remaining in the 3rd quarter to put the Wolverines up 24-0.

You are all welcome for my impeccable prescience.


January 10th, 2012 at 8:50 PM ^

On October 20th, 2012, at approximately 11:15 am, an MSU "student" will step out of his Chevy Tahoe 6.5 blocks west of State St. in Ann Arbor, see a couple of UM fans one street down, yell a vulgar and/or sexually inapporpriate comment at them, zip up his North Face fleece jacket over his 2011 Outback Bowl championship t-shirt, turn off the Linkin Park remix of Korn's "Freak on a Leash" blasting from his car, and walk toward UM stadium with a couple of his "brosephs" with an arrogant hitch in his step.  

That will be the last time he enjoys a sense of superiority toward UM until 2062.


January 10th, 2012 at 9:30 PM ^

Sept. 1- Close one in Texas.  UofM 14  Tide 17. 

Sept. 8- Best flyover of the season.  UofM 27 USAF 24.

Sept. 15- Kick some Massholes.  UofM 42 MM 10

Sept. 22- Another win at the Bighouse South.  UofM 34 ND 17

Sept. 29- Bye week.  Get 36 holes in.

Oct. 6- Another trek into Indiana.  UofM 34 Purdon't 3

Oct. 13- HC for all you alums, have fun.  UofM 28 Illinois 13

Oct. 20- MSUCKS.  UofM 142 MSUCKS -34

Oct. 27- 1st trip to Lincoln. UofM 24 Cornholes 21

Nov. 3- Great White North trip.  UofM 64 Minn 12

Nov. 10- Wilbon cries and still hates The Good Guys.  UofM 21 NW 10

Nov. 17- No missed TD on replay.  UofM 27 Iowa 7

Nov. 24- OSUCKS.  UofM 200 Fuckeyes N/A

Dec. 1- Another trip to Indiana.  UofM 24 Whiskey 17

BCS MNC game or Rose Bowl- either way Meechigan wins and the world will finally know peace.