Way OT: Dealing with criminal trash pandas

My daughter bought a foreclosed house that had raccoons living in the attic at one point. They entered by chewing a hole through an attic vent. They create communal waste piles called “latrines”. Removal is almost classified a toxic waste, the crap can contain a parasite (Baylisascaris) which is untreatable and can cause death. I have avoided and disliked them ever since. If you are certain you are been invaded by TPs, stop encouraging them to pay a visit, you may be eliminating a future problem at the same time.

did you post this just because you think “trash panda” is funny. Very millenial.

Of serious...Get rid of the bird feeder
Get a big mean dog.

non-explosive.  remember to follow through, they're pretty tough.

they are destructive of crops and some of our livestock - specifically we raise hundreds of chickens every year and if we lose any to predation, its the racoons.  

They covered this in The Great Outdoors. I don't quite remember their remedy, but I'm pretty sure it involves eating a 96-ounce steak.

Buy a 22

Learn to shoot

Coyote pee worked great near our trash cans. But on your deck!? Maybe you can mark the perimeter.

Sling shot with ball bearings. One hit to the head and they are dead! Also works on opossum and other rodents. I grew up in southern Ohio and Kentucky and this is what I used as kid to get rid of rodents. That said I do have soft spot in my heart for raccoons because I had one growing up and he was awesome

still have them

One time, a buddy and myself were outside this little concert venue. We were absolutely trashed. We're standing there, drunkenly talking, when we hear these loud, excruciating cries coming from the dumpster outside the building. What follows is the dumbest, most ridiculous Halloween night ever. My friend looks into the dumpster, and according to him, it's mostly empty except for 2 "baby" raccoons trying to escape. My friend has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know, and starts doing exactly what I thought he would do. He's taking his coat off, preparing to dumpster dive, and he's like, "come on dude, we gotta get em out". In my state, I guess I just couldn't let him do it alone. Any other time I would have joined the group of people pointing and laughing at some dude swimming through garbage, chasing little animals in a metal box. I hear him struggling in there, so I jump in to help. Number 1, they weren't babies. They were pretty much full grown. And they were growling. Number 2, I'm an idiot because I still try to grab one. After a few attempts, I successfully throw my jacket over one, pick it up, and throw it over. At least that's how simple I thought it went. My buddy did the same. Afterwards, I get out, walk past the (now larger) group laughing at us, and we get to the car. This is when I look at my hands. They are ripped to shreds. My friend is bleeding badly from one of his fingers. Then it hits me, what about, uh, rabies? My buddy's like, "meh" until I Google it and find that, if you go untreated, you 100% die. There's no treatment once diagnosed. He's then like, "fuck", and we end up spending the rest of the night in a hospital, getting rounds of shots from nurses laughing at our stupidity. I'm still paying for those thousand dollar shots today. So, I recommend that you don't handle them by hand like an urban, drunk Steve Irwin.

In my world, it's a firearm.  Possums, raccoons, skunks.  Very effective.  It's been a couple of months now since we've had to deal with any!  Then again, we're coming up on snake season.

Get a tiger.

Thought this was a Sparty thread

Up here the raccoons are elbowed out by black bears. Cleaning up the garbage after one of those have come after it is unpleasant. They're fewer in number, but they have quite the range.

Panda. Panda. Panda, panda, panda, panda, panda, panda, panda.

I love people who want to be close to nature, then as soon as nature shows up, its "FUCK YOU NATURE DIE DIE DIE GET OUTTA HERE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT NATURE."

FYI, birds can feed themselves. The vermin are the ones whose population you're artificially inflating with the feeders.

We had a huge problem with them years ago.  Can affirm the live trap with wet cat food will work, for both raccoons and feral cats. Both of which are filthy disease wagons.  

I don't give a whit about humane ways of controlling them. Cute? Sure.  But I kill every single one that invades the perimeter. 

My father inlaw deals with them in his barn all the time. Go to Tractor Supply get the wire cage live traps throw in some  marshmallows or cat food and like someone else said take them far away and release them

Suprises?

Have a heart live trap. I worked in a huge factory that had tons of land. Being a city kid when we moved to the county I didnt know better. I traped 26 in 1 month. Bait with a jar lid with Jam or jelly on it. Would haul them to work early every morning right in the car, pull up open the trap let them out. 1 day a guy says " you notice all the coons in here, they are always in my trash" I just blamed it on he doors being open at night. They didnt hurt anything in the building.

When raccoons tried to get on our back porch, momma just chase em off with a broom.

Make friends with em