Transcript of todays meeting between RR and DB?

Submitted by MGoLiteral on November 28th, 2010 at 6:45 PM

Apparently, DB and RR get together every Sunday and review the game film from the previous day. Were any MGoInsiders present at today's meeting? If so, were there any telling statements made by either RR or DB? Could you please provide a transcript of the proceedings?

EDIT: bonus points for video



November 28th, 2010 at 6:51 PM ^

because DB and RR had their mouths stuffed with Domino's Pizza the whole time.  But I can verify that on multiple occasions, DB used pepperoni pieces to map out how the defense should play.


November 28th, 2010 at 6:53 PM ^

Anyone here happen to know what happened in the White House Situation Room this morning?  I'm curious to know what the plan is for this whole "Korean Peninsula" thing.


November 28th, 2010 at 6:56 PM ^

I'm pretty sure the OP is looking for us to provide something like this....

DB: "Rich....yesterday's game sucked.  I am mad and I am thinking of firing you cause I'm so mad"

RR: "But it's not my fault.  Gerg sucks as a DC and everyone's who's any good is hurt."

DB: "Gosh I hadn't considered that until now.'s your contract extension you coaching stud-muffin"

RR: "I want more money or I'm taking my talents to South Beach"


November 28th, 2010 at 6:56 PM ^

They watched the Houston vs. Tennessee game and decided that the secondary will all just pull Cortland Finnegan's and piss off opposing wideouts until the entire opposing corp is ejected. The opposing offense will be forced to run the rest of the game and Michigan will then only give up 300 yards of offense per game.


November 28th, 2010 at 7:01 PM ^

Brandon: Why do we seem to be going backwards against the best teams in our conference?

Rich: Our guys need to execute better.  Didn't you see my answer at halftime while leaving the  field in each one of those games?  Hmmph. And you call yourself a fan.

My bug quit working at that point.


But seriously, there is no telling what I'd give in the way of worldly possessions to have actually been in this meeting.


November 28th, 2010 at 7:17 PM ^

DB: Sup Rod?

RR: Not much.

DB: People want me to fire you, especially a vocal set on MGoBlog

RR: I've heard that

DB: You gonna do better next season?

RR: Obvi

DB: Good, because I don't give a damn about all those other people that don't know what I'm thinking

RR: Word

DB: Break out the snake oil for some Miami recruits, you know, Florida and all

RR: *points to wizard hat on his head* I got this. 

DB: Sweet, but don't take Greg or his stuffed animal

GR: Hey, did I hear my name?

DB: *looks it the direction of RR and takes his finger and runs it across his neck*

RR: *nods* 

DB: Now kiss the Pimp Hand. Kiss it.

RR: *Kisses Pimp Hand*

GR: Can I kiss the Pimp Hand?

DB: No. Neither can your stuffed animal

GR: :(

DB: Later

RR: Peace 

big gay heart

November 28th, 2010 at 7:20 PM ^

RR: The Michigan fanbase is full of spoiled pussies who remove college sports from its proper context and, instead, employ the percieved grandeur of tradition as a coping mechanism so as to circumvent actually looking at themselves in the mirror each morning.

DB: I agree. I remember when I was remixing the recipe for Dominos pizza sauce. Many people thought that my use of sage was unacceptable; they criticized the way I used thyme; they replaced context and substance with ad hominen hyperbole.

RR: The new Dominos is hot and fresh out the kitchen.

DB: I agree. Usually I don't do this but I'm going to give you a little preview of next year...please win some more games. Please shut what is quickly revealing itself to be the worst fanbase in sports up. Please don't make me hire Nitty Gritty Jimmy Hardballs. The last thing I need in MADD and Drew Sharp to join forces.

RR: Let's go to Cedar Point.


November 28th, 2010 at 8:47 PM ^

In the room: Dave Brandon, Rich Rodriguez, Greg Robinson and Fred Jackson.

Transcription begins:

DB: Well, so that happened...

RR: Uh, yeah.

FJ: (smiles, leans back in his seat) Aww, I didn't think it was that bad.

DB: *sigh*- For f$#!'s sake, Fred; were you even there yesterday?

Gerg: Where?

FJ: Well, I just thought that the first quarter was nearly a work of art on both sides of the ball.

Gerg: (nudges RR) What the hell are you guys talking about?

RR: (whispers back) The game, stupid; the game...

Gerg: Oh.

DB: Fred, Fred, Fred. I appreciate your optimism, but honestly, I'm embarassed.

Gerg: (under his breath) Hehe. Bear ass.

RR: Dude.

DB: So what am I supposed to do here, guys?

FJ: Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be the most insightful and well thought response.

DB: Pull your nose out of my ass, Fred. Rich, any thoughts?

RR: Well, you gotta admit, that offense is pretty kickass.

DB: Really Rich? Seven points against Osu? SEVEN???

RR: Well, yeah, there's that, but...

Gerg: Man, I really wish I knew what the hell you guys are talking about. P.S., I thought there was gonna be pizza...

All fiery eyes turn to Gerg.

Gerg: What? Did I miss something?

DB: Do you seriously not remember the mother [email protected]#ing game we played yesterday?!

Gerg: Guys, I gotta level with you. I suffered a brain injury in the '90s. I have short term memory loss, and can't remember anything longer than 30 minutes ago.

RR: I knew it. Dumb bastard.

DB: Rich...

RR: Well... I mean, look at him. I knew something was messed up with that hair.

Gerg: Yeah, well, I'm missing one of the plates in my skull. I had this helmet made to look like hair when all the other coaches kept laughing at me.

DB: Rich, this is the first you've heard of this?

RR: Well, it was weird how he was always so surprised to see me during the interviews. Wait, Greg, is this why we get beat by the same shit in the 4th quarter that we do in the first???

FJ: That helmet is magnificent, may I try it on?

Gerg: Guys, I'm really hungry. How bout that pizza?

DB: You've got to be kidding me.

RR: Well Dave, really, how 'bout that pizza? Could you send some of those free large pepperoni's to the Casteel family in West Virginia?

Gerg: Well, if that's all, I gotta go get ready. Got Wisconsin this week! WOO!

DB: (facepalm)

FJ: (facepalm)

RR: (facepalm)

Zone Left

November 28th, 2010 at 8:50 PM ^

I guess it's time for me to come clean.  I'm actually Dave Brandon's brother Jim* and also happen to be his closest confidant*.

He offered to give Dave back half his salary and the recipe to Papa John's pizza in exchange for another year*.  Dave really wanted that recipe*, so he gave Rodriguez another year*.

* May or may not be true.


November 28th, 2010 at 10:21 PM ^

"Hey coach."


"You see the Boise game Friday?"

"Yeah it was a classic."

"Yeah, it was pretty sweet."

"People are sayin I should fire you."

"Who is this people and why does he want my job?"

"No I mean like...forget it."

"Forget what?"


"How can I forget people he wants me fired!!"

"Yeah, well people are stupid. You want some Dominoes?"

"No, I haven't played Dominoes since like 5th grade, but we should go get some pizza. You up for Dominoes?"

"...Yeah let's go, man I'm glad you're our coach, Rich."

"Yeah me too I love you Dave."

"I love you too Rich."