Brooklyn_Blue

September 1st, 2011 at 12:01 PM ^

13. A sweaty, sun-roasted Charlie Weis will stand in the heat and blazing sun of a Gainesville midday calling the Florida offense from the sideline without the protection of a dedicated fan or special cooling system.

freernnur5

September 1st, 2011 at 12:27 PM ^

83. Texas will lose to Iowa State, Baylor, Kansas State, or some other team with 1/10th of their revenue that they have no business losing to whatsoever. 

82. Texas will respond by purchasing the school, closing its doors forever, and selling its students for meat.

JClay

September 1st, 2011 at 12:28 PM ^

79. Notre Dame wins 10 games, and everyone keeps an even keel and notes their favorable schedule AHHAHAHA THEY GO OVERBOARD AND SAY INSANE THINGS LIKE WAKE UP THE ECHOES AND PICK THEM FOR THE NATIONAL TITLE. 

78. Notre Dame then continues a beloved American tradition by losing their BCS bowl game in painful fashion.

GoBlue21

September 1st, 2011 at 12:39 PM ^

16. ESPN commentator Urban Meyer punches a Clemson linebacker in the throat while standing on the sideline of Clemson's bowl game against Ohio State, and then smiles a menacing grin at Luke Fickell.  

philibuster

September 1st, 2011 at 1:21 PM ^

53. Chris Relf will swallow a cowbell diving into the endzone for a touchdown for Mississippi State late in the Auburn game. He will clang slightly every time he takes a step.

52. SEC officials will throw a flag for unnecessary celebration on every down Chris Relf plays until he coughs the cowbell out on a particularly hard tackle in the second quarter of the Auburn game.

51. Despite the constant penalties, the Mississippi State offense still places fourth in the conference in rushing offense.

Unrelated, but funny:

50. Craig James! That's the joke.